Andrew Plamondon's posted comments

  1. On Splash One, Actual:

    posted 4 months ago

    Great work. I was going for the post 9/11 CAP feel and you really brought that through in this. Thanks for the sequel.

  2. On Star Wars: The Union Of Death:

    posted 4 months ago

    Ana, what’s a Jar Jar fan?

  3. On Carminic acid:

    posted 4 months ago

    Segue, segway is an overpriced scooter.

    Sorry.

  4. On The Wake:

    posted 4 months ago

    Thanks guys. I’d intended it to be pretty stand alone but I might come back to it later.

  5. On I Tried:

    posted 4 months ago

    Ah, no I make it a rule not to get angry with internet people. I wasn’t trying to slam your story, I was just trying to lend a hand and make the Wrath of Khan joke.

  6. On I Tried:

    posted 4 months ago

    You are right, I wasn’t comfortable with three stars, but I’m not quite feeling four either so, tell you what, edit out the tense change which is: Past: “I turned my head to Kahn who looked like he was afraid, but trying not to show it.” Present: “Mike leaves me side and starts walking to Kahn. Kahn steps back a bit then stands his ground.” and we’ll talk.

  7. On I Tried:

    posted 4 months ago

    KAAAAAHHHNNNN!

    No? OK.

    Pretty good story, I have just a couple of pointers, the script format tends to be limited in terms of communicating emotion, I’d stick to a more narrative format if I were you. Two other little things, you jump tenses about halfway through, which is jarring and I find your dialog doesn’t flow naturally in places. Something I find that helps with that is reading dialog aloud and tweaking until you hit a rhythm that sounds not only natural but good.

  8. On Dead Air:

    posted 4 months ago

    Thanks mate, I’m happy to hear you liked it.

  9. On The Pillar - Not Quite So Empty Space:

    posted 5 months ago

    Great piece. Like Pen Name says, definitely deserves some follow-up.

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