Yeah, I know what you mean John. My approach so far in writing these characters is that when it comes to villainy, they’re part of the game, they’ve seen it all or heard it all already. I think it’s interesting how Ridcully made Phil a bit more of a hero but I’m always going to take everything down a peg with a bit of humor, at least in this series.
Good read. I’m kind of a sucker for isolationism, I think when someone is taken out of a social setting (or society entirely) you learn a lot about what kind of person they are and it’s a great mechanism for story telling.
I know this doesn’t match the tone of the other entries, but whenever I think of my childhood these Saturday mornings are always at the forefront of my memory. Simple, enjoyable days like those are all I ever want as I grow up.
Is it bad that I used to root for Cobra Commander and the Decepticons?
Really agree with the sentiment here. A child’s imagination is by far their biggest asset and it should be everyone’s hope to never lose use of theirs.
Nice dichotomy here. He both loves and hates himself and there is no middle ground. Any ability to express himself intellectually is directly opposed and superseded by his greed.
A good peak at the tedium of life as an IT professional. Trust us, It’s certainly not as sexy as the guidance counselor makes it sound, kids.
I think my favorite line was “I take the stairwell down to the seventh floor so that I can tell my wife I exercised today.” This little line just adds a lot of character insight. It shows your character as perhaps insecure on some level and perfectly sets up the end where he does accept who he is… at least until tomorrow.
Wonderful. The innocence of the boy is very well done here. The intentional lack of descriptors bring it home I think. We’re left to assume that he knows nothing of the purpose of the wall, doesn’t know the guards name, why he’s being oppressed, or even who is liberating him (just “red uniforms”). All he knows is that he’s working close to where his dead mother is buried. A very sympathetic character.
I really liked the flow of this. It transitions very well, shows how the youthful mind can shift gears so dramatically. One minute the cardboard box is a space ship, the next minute it’s a racing car.
I was raised by a single mother whom I respect more than anyone in the world. The strength that’s needed to be a good parent is really remarkable. You guys are super heroes.
This really is a very fitting tribute to Mom’s everywhere.
I’m just catching up on this series now, really enjoying it so far.
There’s something very William Faulkner about the whole thing. Very precise with a carefully selected presentation. The shifting views is reminiscent of Faulkner’s narrative stream of consciousness. Not to mention a very emotional and evocative story.
Thanks guys, authenticity was exactly what I was going for here. John put us into a great position to turn the tables and arm our protagonist with some valuable information. I always enjoy when that sort of thing isn’t delivered on a silver platter but the characters have to work at it.
The email format for the ficlet was something I was also waiting for an opportunity to play with and I’m semi-satisfied with the results.
Actually, I quite liked the direction it ended up taking the story. I think our man Phil needs to go on the offensive at some point or have some information for defense. Hopefully we’ll have provided him with something to allow that to happen.
It was tough but I wanted the follow up to this to show something that would appear to have no value but may prove important later. If it makes you feel any better I think I’ve left Ridcully in an equally challenging spot!
I’d be lying if I said that “You Only Move Twice” (that Simpsons episode) didn’t inspire me a little bit when I first tossed out the evil corporation idea from Ridcully’s setup. I think it’s fascinating when you shine a little light on the type of people that might work for a super villain. Homer does it unknowingly, so it’s fun to explore our man Phil who knows full well what he’s involved in.
What I think is great about this is that Wendell must have chosen to be a clown at some point. I mean, no parents pressure their kids into going to Clown College, right? With this in mind, he must have a whole bag full of quick gags that would satisfy his friend. Instead he chooses to make something that absolutely mortifies Derrick. Brilliant.
I’m glad you enjoyed it. After reading some of your work I settled on the source material quite easily. I just thought, “What is one of the most absurd concepts in all of Star Wars”? Battle of Endor, hands down.
I suspect Leia convinced them all to fight with the promise of more of those candy bars she gave Wickett. The translation of their battlecry actually means “For chocolate!” in Ewokese.
Concluded the idea John had of getting the family out of the picture. We can always just pull that string later on if we like, maybe have them get abducted along with his mother in-law (which causes him no small bit of joy).
I left it kind of open so Ridcully could get us started on a fresh heading.
A great way of handling the union idea without giving it too much life, very nice. Gonna agree with what John has said earlier, your pieces are really doing a great job at tying together the different styles.
I tried to resolve the inconsistency that John pointed out by establishing the relationship between the two companies as being part of a larger coalition. This also addresses why they would both be vying for the same “bonus” referred to earlier.
I really like the direction you guys have taken this story. This sort of collaboration is exactly what I was looking forward to in joining Ficlets.
I think maintaining different styles on a “fun” piece like this one benefits the entire work so I put together a sequel with a bit of the tone I used. We all have a different voice in telling this tale and I think it’s working out great.
I really liked your use of imagery here, it was a very vivid work that really let my mind go to work. I also like that it had great opportunity for growth on both ends, something that I’m finding quite a challenge in my own ficlets.
I put together a quick prequel since I had an interesting idea as to what this poor bastard was sorry for and the fact that you don’t have her forgive him is awesome. I tried to stick with the strong symbols as you did. Hope you enjoy.
@John Perkins: Thanks for the input. I think this 1,024 limit is going to take some real getting used to. It’s difficult to come up with something decent only to have to pair it down and not lose the things that make it interesting. Need to continue working on that for sure.
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