Wow…I like how you included her thoughts concerning her love for her parents and her being sorry for everything. It’s very realistic… a person on the verge of what seems like impending death would likely have these kind of thoughts.
Beautiful…and very descriptive. It makes you form a very clear mental picture of what would certainly be a wonderful sight to behold. I especially love the line about the light cast from the moon onto the garden
Okay, that first sentence…absolutely wonderful. It would be impossible not to read on with a first sentence like that. Great story idea (and honestly, it wouldn’t be shocking if something like this were to really happen on reality TV, lol).
Love it… I really liked how you described the yearning for the person…yet being afraid of being hurt again. I can totally identify with such a feeling. Very raw.
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