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Hobo Beard Bob's Favorites

• The Low-Carb Kid Saves The Earth

  by Hobo Beard Bob about 1 year ago

  “The monkeys told me I’d find you here,” said The Zoo Keeper.

  The Low-Carb Kid looked up from the recipe book and said, “It …

• The Insane Knight Finds a Head

  by Weirdology about 1 year ago

  The duo started to leave, but then a dragon walked across their path. It had a giant head in its mouth.

  “So that’s what kil…

• A Goddess Scorned

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 9 months ago

  It had rejected her. She loved this… thing and it had rejected her, something that had never happened before. Enraged, she …

• She Always Knows Just the Right Things to Say

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 9 months ago

  Her hands were wrapped around it’s shifting, twisting neck. Driven insane with hunger, she madly and futilely attempted to ch…

• Into The Storm

  by Howie Amourscow 9 months ago

• The Fifteenth

  by Wil Wheaton 9 months ago

  Marten stayed low, and moved down the trench. Plasma beams streaked across the sky above him, a patchwork of colors that woul…

• The Insane Knight Finds a Horse

  by Hobo Beard Bob about 1 year ago

  The Insane Knight and his sidekick, Tlod, the dwarven zombie with a temporary giant’s head, stood in front of the burning sta…

• They Don't Come Out at Night

  by Wil Wheaton 9 months ago

  You know the well has to be close, but your lantern only makes the fog harder to penetrate.

  You know there’s nothing but ope…

• Seen And Not Seen

  by Howie Amourscow 9 months ago

  “I refuse to be ignored!” I shout at the clerk behind the glass. He doesn’t look up. I slam my hand down; it hurts. The clerk…

• Black {Amaster's Color Challenge}

  by Alexa ♥ 9 months ago

  He was dead. Nothing would ever bring him back.

  It was silly and irrational, but her response was to go to the closet. Upon …

• From Weddings to Divorces

  by THX 0477 9 months ago

  “Oh, frak me,” Simon blurted without really thinking. The woman in black let the body lurch forward, slumping in a bloody m…

• Plot Thickening Additive

  by Nick 9 months ago

  Blake glanced at Simon, noticing he was rendering a glyph upon his hand with a Sha®pie marker. Blake didn’t know magic — like…

• Stella Starr and The Dead Man's Hand: Just a Girl {Gumshoe Challenge}

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 9 months ago

  I was beating the pants off of Nell at poker, as usual, when she walked in. She was some hot tomato, with stilts up to here…

• Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: This Is What You Ask For, This Is What You Get

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 9 months ago

  “Don’t be stupid, Frank,” Stella said. To make her point, she pulled the Derringer’s trigger. A jet of flame shot out, lighti…

• Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: Right in The Fruit Basket

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 9 months ago

  Stella almost laughed at the fat man, standing there half naked with his doodle dangling for all the world to see, until she …

• Bullets and Death

  by Nick 8 months ago

  The first officer turned back towards the doorway, Simon’s voice from the hall shocking him into action. The second officer, ...

• Remorse

  by Howie Amourscow 8 months ago

  The kug slithered towards the bed, until Simon restrained it with the deep song.

  To the extent the kug was a reasoning t…

• The Low-Carb Kid vs. Mr. Body Alarm

  by Hobo Beard Bob about 1 year ago

  The Low-Carb Kid just wanted to finish reading his cookbook. There were thousands of excellent, extremely healthy, low-carb r…

• Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: Crashers at the Cotton Club

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars about 1 year ago

  “What a stupid idea,” Nelly Norton groaned as she and Girl Detective Stella Starr entered the legendary Cotton Club.

  “Oh, dr…

• Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: Frankenstein's Mobster

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars about 1 year ago

  Stella and Nelly walked up to Frankie Stein’s table in The Cotton Club, ignoring the pair of bodyguards that flanked The Unde…

• Stella Starr and the Road to Gangster's Paradise: The Wrath of the Undead Don

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars about 1 year ago

  Frankie Stein was built like a baby grand. That along with the scars, the corpse-blue pallor of his skin, his cold, dead eyes…

• Yog-Sothoth Goes On A Picnic With Cthulhu and Tells a Joke

  by Phil about 1 year ago

  Yog-Sothoth, ut-nabigash, ur-ralicthlia. Ra’lyeh trop thluhth frt gannuh.

  “(unpronouncable dialogue that took centuries to s…

• WENDYS BACONATER hahahhahahaah

  by uselessness 7 months ago

  im like what??
  adn then u sed screw it im goign to macdonalds
  HAHAHAHAHAHA not macdonalds rite??

  u say yea macdonalds its ch…

• [The Gassy Challenge] ...For A Breath Of Fresh Air

  by Howie Amourscow 7 months ago

  “I’ve got gas! Wait, now I don’t.”

  Lt. Christopher punched the console and felt it in his elbow. The blow knocked him away f…

• From the Makers of Enzyte

  by Fyora Cartagan 7 months ago

• DIE NOW

  by SKermitgorf 7 months ago

  A strange thing happened while eating my lunch of alphabet soup.

  Weird words started to appear spelled out on each spoonful …

• Loving the Dead (minimum length challenge)

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 7 months ago

  Is it necrophilia if she is only technically dead, I wondered?

• Monochrome Onslaught (Exact Minimum Length Ficlet Challenge)

  by Howie Amourscow 7 months ago

  He braced the door, but the penguins’ combined mass was too much.

• Murderous Intent (exact minimum length ficlet challenge)

  by Howie Amourscow 7 months ago

  Handyman Dan’s evil plan is to run over Stan with his moving van.

• 64 Characters

  by THX 0477 6 months ago

  Dan, the field mouse, strode confidently into the meadow saying, “We challenge you, for the pride of our fathers, for the sak…

• How Not To Stop A Charging Animal

  by Howie Amourscow 6 months ago

• Three Fifteen, Dwayne Gets A Call That Would Get Him In Trouble With His Probation Officer

  by Howie Amourscow 6 months ago

• The Low-Carb Kid vs. the Pasta Twins

  by Valley Fey/Pinprick 6 months ago

  The sun sat low and heavy over the ocean as the Low Carb Kid sauntered down the boardwalk. He pulled his trusty memo pad from…

• b:\lief\

  by Ben Paddon 6 months ago

  Unit 42A crossed his extremities and lowered his Upper Feature Expressors into an angry frown. “I can’t believe you still cli…

• Twain and Tesla's Excellent Adventure

  by uselessness 6 months ago

  Sparks flew from the chest of the fallen Edgar Allan Poe with a terrible grinding sigh. His servos were in agony.

  “He’s a ro…

• A Long Stream of Continuation (4)

  by uselessness 6 months ago

  Walt Disney was in pain, from rolling over in his grave so much.

• Poe: One of a Kind

  by Hobo Beard Bob 6 months ago

• Twain and Livingstone: A Curious Reunion

  by uselessness 6 months ago

  “Fine,” said Twain, “I need to chat with the good Dr. Livingstone, but I’ll give you control of the ship if you promise to re…

• Interstellar Tesla

  by Russell Ruffino 6 months ago

  Nikola Tesla was finally back in control of his space-time machine and all alone, no androids, authors or plot devices to get…

• Sherlock Holmes is On Poe's Case

  by TreeBeard 6 months ago

  Holmes sat motionless in depressive introspection. That was something that Poe was quite familiar with himself. “Holmes,” sai…

• Chasing Emily

  by Russell Ruffino 6 months ago

  “Excuse me, Mr Tesla.” Tesla had just walked into the foyer of the Asimov building and was a bit suprised to hear his name, a…

• Friends Over [The Stovohobo Inspirer Not-A-Challenge Challenge]

  by Howie Amourscow 6 months ago

  James’ large frightened eyes traveled slowly around the room. The creatures, some sitting on chairs, others reclining on a so…

• Preparing for the Kill

  by stylorouge 6 months ago

  Bastian eyed his mustache in the rear-view mirror, cracked open Cinderella’s Long Cold Winter tape case, fastforwarded throug…

• Finding Emily

  by TreeBeard 6 months ago

  With the laser gun aimed at him, Edison reluctantly unlocked the door. Poe and Holmes stepped out. Poe promptly punched Ediso…

• Up All Night, Part 2

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars about 1 year ago

• The Cabin: A Southern Haunting

  by stylorouge 5 months ago

  Hey, ‘at ain’t nuthin’. Back when me’n ye momma lived up yonder on Georgie Mount’n..member hit uz way on back in th’ woods …

• Alive: A Southern Haunting

  by stylorouge 5 months ago

  Now, don’t that jest beat all?

  Minds me of a time when ‘at Riddlespur boy’s up air at the Birminham learnin’ how ta preach….

• The Low-Carb Kid vs. Bread Baker

  by Dangerous Angels about 1 year ago

  The Low-Carb Kid(LCK) was walking home from a vegetable convention.As he approached a shortcut through an alley to his house,...

• A Godawful Small Affair

  by Wil Wheaton 5 months ago

  “I want to move to Mars, and open up a bar,” Gregor said.

  Matti inhaled deeply, and let a cloud of pale blue smoke surround …

• Destiny and Time

  by StrugglingWriter about 1 year ago

  “You believe in destiny, sonny?” said Jonathan Spokes as Sam closed the passenger side door, placing the time machine on the …

• When Good Supplies Go Bad

  by uselessness 5 months ago

  It was clear that the pencil-box murders were just beginning. Five victims in five days, and the perp still on the loose. The…

• Narcolepsy Ned

  by David B 5 months ago

  Toronto, ON – Last night at 11:00 PM local superhero Narcolepsy Ned was found dead in a back alley off of Yonge St. It is bel…

• Noir Playtime

  by Blank 5 months ago

  Didn’t get thrown in the box tonight. Good, it’s always cramped in there, and I’ve got work to do.

  I remember her pale face,...

• E. Bunny & H.Dumpty Detective Agency{HobobeardBob's Inhuman Detective Challenge}

  by SKermitgorf 5 months ago

  The sign on our door read, E. Bunny & H. Dumpty, Private Detective Agency
  The facts were these. The teeth were missing from…

• A Call to Himself becomes A Bogus Journey

  by StrugglingWriter about 1 year ago

  As Sam was about to knock on Amy’s front door, he noticed through the open curtains his past self sitting on the couch with A…

• Falling (in love)

  by Knight Random about 1 year ago

  This wasn’t he first time my powers had given out. I’d faced the usual—reality warps, psychic blocks, that sort of thing. Bu…

• Captain Trigger-Happy

  by Russell Ruffino 5 months ago

  Boston, MA – Brian Barrel a.k.a. ‘Captain Trigger-Happy’ was found dead in his bed on Monday morning, aged 67. The police hav…

• I will take over the world, I will take over the world...

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars about 1 year ago

  “See that cell over there?” Phil asked.

  Carl shrugged. “So?”

  “That, my friend, is the infamous Sally Rechsteiner. A.K.A. ‘L…

• The Conspiracy

  by uselessness 4 months ago

  Jack was paranoid.

  Where did he put that remote control? He could’ve sworn he left it on the end table. He felt panic wash o…

• Poor Work Ethic

  by Jason about 1 year ago

• What Josiah Wants

  by THX 0477 10 months ago

  What Josiah wants is one good song. Sure, he likes music, but he just wants an excuse to turn the radio up and drown these id…

• What Freddy Wants

  by Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars 10 months ago