This is where you really kick my butt. Where do you get all these random ideas and turn them into awesome stories? Very well written. I like the bit about “not in the script” a lot, and also where Courtney falls into her role so convincingly. You just keep doing what you do, bud.
And before everyone asks, yes, this will appear as little snippets with different characters. Ideally, if I take it far enough, all the characters should eventually meet one another. But you can expect each chapter to be approximately 3-8 ficlets in length, depending on how long it takes me to get the gist of what I want to accomplish across.
@Elsha: Nah, I don’t think she’s much ashamed of what’s happened, heh. @Ben: Yeah, it is cheesy, but it’s supposed to be. @Kev: The dialog can be really difficult to follow, but I’m emulating Malory’s style. It’s really challenging to write without the quotation marks!
I think that JP would probably experience withdrawals if we took the comment feature away from him :) Cool challenge, I’ll see if I can come up with anything for it.
@Ana: It’s possible. I might. But really all I approached the challenge with was the memory of a friend who’s father was going through Alzheimers, and how painful that was for him…and that’s where I wanted to be in this. I might revisit it, or…someone could feel free to take it wherever they want. :-D
Ha, it’s nice to get away a few times. Like I’ve said, Bagman really does take a lot of my brainpower. But, believe it or not, fantasy/medieval has always been my strongest point in writing.
Ha, why take a Stairway to Heaven when you can take the Elevator to Hell? Zany, but foreboding at the same time. I mean, who really goes into Hell feeling “okay with it.” The sentence “As the content nature…” gave me pause because it seems awkwardly worded, and I had to read it a few times to get what you were saying. Other than that, welcome to Ficlets. It’s kinda like hell in that you never get away once you get here. But it’s more fun than Hell.
“I got arrested, Sherlock.” Thank you, Captain Obvious! Heh, cool. I’ll have to go back and see what this series is about now… Cool stuff, and love the bulldog line.
Scary, and very sad. You have a way of picking subjects that strike a chord with me, Rae, and putting them out there in the open with such a simplistic style that it’s very powerful. Kudos.
Had to look twice, but Part 2 and part 3 are exactly the same. Myra really had to pee. The poem’s good and dark, and it might have been on purpose leaving it all in one paragraph, but it would have been more poignant to have broken it up some, into a more traditional poetic form.
My big brudda’s all growed up! Very cool format for the story, Brownie. It works really well to make you feel as though you’re really dredging up the past. I can’t even remember the last time I even touched a VHS tape…or a VCR, for that matter. I’d be outta luck on memory lane. I tried to give you 5 1/2 stars, but I failed.
Very cool little story. Shocking, but with realistic implications. Kind’ve reminiscent of “Bicentennial Man:” “Wouldn’t it be safe to say that all the humans wading in the gene pool with artificial organs are part robot, at least in part?” 5-stars to be had for all!
I’m with everything Krulltar said on this. It is marked as mature, so we should be prepared to read something mature and even shocking, but it definitely does have a “70’s porno” feel to it, especially with all the hair involved. There’s no plot worth mentioning, the scenes themselves are shoddy and thrown-together. Feels like a “look what I did, I’m so naughty” story than any actual attempt at advancing your literary skill.
Yeah, definitely getting the same feeling of importance from the glimpses of time. And the use of italics is an interesting choice if he’s using a conventional phone. Still, another solid piece to a solid story that you know I’m gonna read and rate 5 stars.
Yeah, this is probably gonna stand as-is. I wasn’t happy with it at first because it felt too incomplete, especially when compared to the great stuff everyone else was putting up on this challenge…but I like it more now that I’ve gone back and read it. Thanks for enjoying it :)
This looked like an easy enough challenge for me to put one in on. Trying to be more active in the community, rather than being so secular and insulated in my Bagman series, ha. And I don’t have anything against Wheaton, just didn’t like Crusher in Star Trek: TNG. I’m a geek, and I have geek prejudices! :-D
I’m blown away, heh. My previous comments still stand. Very well written, especially considering that you actually wrote it backwards…something I can’t imagine doing. I’m such an A to B to C kind of guy… Either way, great way to end/begin all this, Ana! Loved it.
And Ana, your use of vocabulary, your sentence form in this whole series, it’s hard to put my finger on and identify it, but I absolutely love it. Whatever you’re doing, just keep on doing it.
Ha…hahaha…hahahaha… That’s just funny stuff. Although the gritty, crime-oriented side of my fiction-analytic mind thinks that maybe these cookie and confection companies aren’t what they appear to be. And, oddly, Bill Shatner and Tim Curry’s characters in the Loaded Gun movie comes to mind.
Ha, this is my favorite of this series so far. The tense first paragraph, being in a drive-thru. I always enjoy your writing, John, but you’re hitting above the bar, today!
Aside from the general creepiness of someone actually counting the exact number of days its been from their first date (did he account for leap-years?), a solid ending that makes me more than a little curious as to what’s going on! Gotta read, now.
Well, Rae, I like the series…but the whole thing has felt rushed up till here. Partly, I think it’s because of the lack of paragraphs dividing the separate thoughts, and cramming dialog together. You’ve got an excellent vocabulary, though, and there’s room and more to grow. I’m looking forward to your Still Waters series…the premise sounds interesting, but challenging.
I like it, Rae. You caught my attention with your first “Still Waters” ficlet, but I’m gonna have to go through and read this, too. Aside from a few grammatical qualms, it’s solid, and your use of vocabulary is very good. In particular: “...woven from the finest threads of hatred…” really stood out to me as very cool stuff.
Ha, good filler post. I also, for some reason, like the REACT acronym…now I’ve just gotta figure out what the “r” at the end is in the series titles, and figure out more about that fish!
Ha, funny. I used to online roleplay on AOL long, long ago…when RhyDin was the thing, heh. After I left AOL, went to online message board role-playing until about 4 years ago. I have ficlets in my favorites…but google is still the homepage!
Heh, yeah. I know what you mean, JP. I rewrote this one several times, trying to get the feel of it just right…and also to get it into Nirvana once I got the mood right. Wondering if anyone will catch the classical nod I gave in this one. As usual, more’s coming. I’m kinda flyin’ blind on this, though.
On one of your stories, you described a headache as “a 10-piece percussionist group had taken position behind his eyes” or something like that, and if my wording wasn’t exactly like that, it was damn close.
Cool deal, man. Glad you finally got some inspiration on this series. Looking forward to what you come up with, and I’ll probably jump in again at some point where I don’t think I’ll hijack your storyline. Few typos. In the middle, swiveled, near the end, whiskey, and also near the end… Prince should probably be The Artist Formerly Known As
Yeah, I had trouble with this one…and plus I had to go back and rewrite almost the whole first half because of some blatant, but totally unintentional ripping of some of your work on here, John. Heh, I knew it was familiar when I was writing it…just took a couple hours to sink in what I’d done.
I dunno, guys. JP’s definitely cool, but I dunno…doesn’t he just seem a little, canadian to some of you? He smells of maple syrup.
Jokes aside, I’m all for it!John can be the fleas on my cat any day! If I ever get a cat…if it ever wants fleas, or if I don’t kill it when it does get fleas. I think he’s commented on everything I’ve ever done, so he’s A-OK in my book!
Thanks guys/gals. I really enjoyed writing this piece as well, especially loved this perspective. So much, in fact, that I use it again later on in the series.
There you go, guys! browncoatben’s been riding my ass about the series, so I’ve finally managed to bash down that writer’s block! Enjoy :) More’s coming.
Yeah, I’ve been hitting the wonderful ole “writer’s block” wall on this lately, and I’ve been busy with a couple other things. Important things…like beer and 20 year old video-games in copious amounts. I’ll have a look at the sentence…who knows what I was trying to say with it? I don’t…
Really? I grew up in Lowsy-ana, but only went to N.O. once or twice (and didn’t like it either time). According to googlemaps, there is an intersection…and maybe in the future, there will be! :)
I like the genealogical references. Six wives!? Geeze, I couldn’t even survive one…or she couldn’t survive me…......... Did I type that out loud? Cool series going here, Jen!
Huh. That took an unexpected turn. You set up the twist very well, and I’m happy to say that you took me by surprise! I had to reread both parts twice to make sure I had it right.
Heh, I know how that is. You get so focused on what you’re trying to write that you don’t see what you’re writing, no matter how closely you read it. Loving this series, so far, so don’t stop!
I really enjoyed writing the fight-scenes, but it’s been going on for quite a while now. Figured it was about time to move on. Besides, poor Benny’s taken a lot of punishment, and he’s still gotta find the chips! Mmm…doritos.
Thanks a lot, guys. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and felt immediately that it was one of the best entries into this series since I started Bagman. The hardest part was the Cerberus3 line that you like so much, JM. Took me a while to get the right attitude in that line, heh.
I hate to say I saw it coming, but I did. Either way, the wording is fantastic, very surreal and free-spirited. Love this: ”...sent [the phone] the way of my tie without even looking at who it was. Who gives a damn anyway?” I want to enter this challenge, but I’ve been running dry on ideas. Bagman is taking all my brainpower!
Rut-Roh Reorge! Hot chick at the office! Ey babe, whatchoosay we sidle on down to the coffee-bar and then we wink wink nudge nudge yeah? I like the hum-drum feel of the ficlet, and then BAM. You go all AMINAL on Val. “Woman! Woman!” Also, a very distinct film-noir feel to the inner dialog.
Another cool entry, but some critique! You know you love it, Kev. Think betweenspace meant ”...had she not come to rest...” There, she’d just makes it read as “had she had.” On the summer part, it’d probably work better as “a warm summer’s eve,” but I think you could remove the whole summer reference entirely and the sentence would work better. And finally, “Yep,” Nick replied. “Military grade?” Nobody likes someone who replies with a question!
Another cool entry, but some critique! You know you love it, Kev. Think betweenspace meant ”...had she not come to rest...” There, she’d just makes it read as “had she had.” On the summer part, it’d probably work better as “a warm summer’s eve,” but I think you could remove the whole summer reference entirely and the sentence would work better. And finally, “Yep,” Nick replied. “Military grade?” Nobody likes someone who replies with a question!
Danke schon! And yeah, being a heathen is definitely one of my strong-points, but if it helps, most of the Cyberpunk literature I’ve read relates to Christianity as a fanatical, tyrannical (and other -ical words) organization that is best feared. Good example would be the Preacher in the Johnny Mnemonic movie. Don’t groan! It’s a fun movie!
Nah, it was actually kind of an afterthought. I forgot about the poor “expression-practicing” secretary who was at the desk when Benny decided to throw a grenade at Ismail. Pyro’s right, Louise should be back at their warehouse, jacked in remotely. And I just really like the feel of the camera drone bits! :-D
Hmm, interesting note there, Ana. I’m not sure how that would read…I think that, maybe… “a male voice, over the…” would explain the sentence better, but doesn’t look good because it places an unnecessary pause. Here we go…”over” is operating as an adjective. “voice-over” would be a noun.
Ha, this is a really fun story to read. The ref’s speech is priceless, the globe of fairness=awesome wording, and the entire setting is just zany, which I like. Kudos!
This is the original “Fisticuffs!” that I published, but was unhappy with. I kept it up here for posterity’s sake, but this particular ficlet has been thrown to the trash!
Okay, here’s a total rewrite on this ficlet. I published the original as a sequel to this rewrite, so it’s still there. They both accomplish the same things, just this one focuses a whole lot more on the action.
Could be either or, John… “on(in) the 35th floor…” Both read smoothly, and both make sense. I just went with “on” because it sounds more like the fire’s not engulfing the entire floor yet. And thanks for the praise on the viewpoints. This has been a very interesting experiment, swapping view-points so frantically in such a fast-paced plot…in first-person, no less. It’s a helluva lotta fun!
Yeah, like I said…this was hard. I might have to do a rewrite on it. Just wipe it clean and start over from scratch. After I wrote WAY too much, I was frantic to keep some bits, and eager to get rid of others. I’ll probably take another look at this entry tonight.
Heh, thanks for the great comments, JM. And everyone else! This series is a lot of fun to write, but it’s very rewarding for me to have you guys reading along as I pump it out.
Keep reading, and make all checks payable to JLaughter!
And the perspective changes are really starting to come together into what I originally wanted to do with them. Multiple views, seamlessly flowing through one continuous scene.
I kinda see what John’s going at, there. The rest of this reads real smooth, but in the third paragraph, the comma in ”...his body, the word…” is kind of like a hiccup in the story. Maybe it would read better as “his body and the…” or maybe even a bit of a tense-change, ”...body, the word STAHLfloating...”
Though the latter might be bending some grammatical rules, I use that to keep a segment running smoothly.
Again, another difficult submission. Hope it came out good, gimme some critique, guys. I don’t know why I’m so OCD about Ficlet Nirvana, but this one took forever to fit right. I’ve read it so many times now, I’m not sure if the moves are clear, or if the fight’s fast-paced and seamless like it is in my head.
Ha, there’s something in the word-style of this ficlet that just screams “awesome” to me. Love the car’s attitude, and this really clears of my “they” beef with the last one. Few edits… ”...car made a hard left, throwing itself into a spin…” Not sure if “goddamn, piece of shit” requires a comma, check with John on that one.
Love “one finger salute” and the car and Stahl trading insults. Awesome piece. You get five stars, sir.
@Pyro: Heh, you’re most probably very right, sir. @John: Thanks, I’m trying to figure out exactly where I’m going to tie in the police character I introduced a few entries back, but so far this is really shaping out well.
Heh, yeah. I’ve been waiting to get these two in a fight. This was a hard piece to get into nirvana…I was WAY too descriptive in Benny’s attack, and really had to trim the heck out of it, without losing any of the straight-forward brutality of Benny’s style. I still see some awkward wording I need to go back and fix, but I’ll let it stand for now.
Lost my comment. :( And I even had to juggle it into comment nirvana, go figure.
Either way, “the moment” edit could easily be “that moment” as well. And I have a bit of a gripe about the use of the word “them,” when Nick seems to be by himself. Unless the car is counted as an entity. I found myself pausing, trying to define “them” every time I saw it.
Another good piece. Hopefully I don’t lose this comment too.
And I’m sure I’m probably just asking for a spoiler, but I didn’t know (and still don’t, really) what “REMORA” was, and apparently all I can find is that it’s some kind of fish, and also a music project by some guy named Brian John Mitchell. Whoever that is. I’m assuming that REMORA is neither fish, nor Mitchell Music.
Definitely a fun series to read, and anything else I say is just going to mirror what everyone else said before me, so I’m gonna stop short and just five-star everything.
Yeah, I did a little research into it. A doctor is present to pronounce the subject dead, but he cannot actually participate in the execution. Maybe it’s changed since the information that I read, but I’m not 100% sure.
There we go, back on track. Sorry, was down sick for a while, couldn’t even handle looking at the computer. Either way, let’s get this series rolling again!
Ha, I wasn’t going for a reward. Just had an idea when I was reading some of the other Out of Order Challenge ficlets and decided to contribute. Thanks for reading it, though, and I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Done! Sorry it took so long. Been down sick the last week or so, and killer migraines. Anyway, that’s all I’ll be writing on this particular series. I enjoyed it, even though I think I lost my direction a bit. Either way, hope you guys enjoyed it.
I was so tempted to give a nod to the movie Hackers here, and have her crack the Gibson with an old Mac named Lucy by going through a garbage file. Mess with the best, die like the rest.
Heh, thanks for all the comments guys, and for keeping reading my random stories here. Don’t worry, action is definitely coming, and probably a helluva lot of it.
Thanks for the comments, guys/gals. Slowed down a bit there, but I threw a quick two up. These will answer some questions…and I think that two more will wrap up the series.
I love that Alex’s main obsession is either getting to play a game of Joust or sit down and read his Omni. He’s still shell-shocked, and singularly male—as in, he can only focus on one thing at a time. Omni Omni Omni Omni…oooh Joust!
You guys are really killing me. This is on par with Douglas Adams’ Guide series, so far as zany and amusing goes. And I really, really like the working theory as to how all of this started to happen in the first place!
Ha, I feel you there, man. I actually have written a medieval-fantasy book, but it’s never gotten out of first draft. But there’s one scene in there involving a very dark demon that, literally, took me three months to write, it was so difficult for me to visualize and describe. I finally had to call in the calvary, in the form of a very demented friend and a lot of liquor.
Ha, I was sitting here trying to think of what the most incongruous thing was that I could have the big cell-mate guy doing, staring at my book-shelf…and there it was, big as day: My Honkin’ Huge Collector’s Hardcover Centennial Addition of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. Bingo. And more’s coming on this, probably tomorrow. At least 2 more ficlets, maybe 3 or 4.
I think that Krystle is maybe a little bit crazy. And by a little bit, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean give that woman some happy-drugs and a straight-jacket!
Snappy dialog, check. Fast pace, check. Cyndi Lauper insult, check. All in all, a good addition!
Re-reading my comment there, I didn’t mean to come off as a jerk, THX. Humor that was maybe worded badly. Either way, another section of this little series is up.
Cool stuff, man. Horror’s not my thing, but I’m enjoying the series you have going. You’re really showing a lot of versatility on here, between the Mobius Strip, the 80’s string and this one. Keep going!
Yeah, I’m a little confused, personally. Especially by the “obituary” line. Did she read his obituary 2 weeks ago, 24 years in the future, maybe? And this is someone she remembers being a mall-pig?
Yeah, it’s not quite out of order yet because there’s only one of them. Kinda like shuffling a 1 card deck…you just don’t get very far :) I’ve got a few different directions I wanna go with this, but haven’t decided which one I’m gonna do. Probably have another one up a bit later after I brainstorm over some hot sake.
Ah, a refreshing change of style here. Thanks, Ana, for the challenge. I’ll put up a few more when I’m not totally exhausted to explain the middle parts, the end, then maybe the beginning of this story.
Heh, I had to have fun with that. Originally it was “attacked by a cheese-grater when he was a kid and escaped by climbing, then fell out of the biggest ugly tree in the world and hit every branch on the way down.” But it was WAY too long. And more are coming, as always!
@Kev: Thanks, that’s exactly what I was going for. I had to show that Benny isn’t just all attitude and badass, he’s really human. @John: As for whether it would be “Benny” or “Benito” in Spanish, I don’t know. I thought about learning Spanish, once, then remembered I’m American. And Lazy. Benny is just his nickname, his last name is Benito. And for the sentence suggestion, it isn’t actually her house…
@John: In answer to your question about what the cop calls Kent, “Mr. Kent” & “Mr. Johnson,” it was a matter of characters, lol. This entry took a while to juggle into Nirvana.
Well, I guess that’s a matter of perspective. Benny, for instance, is loaded with implants, but they’re mostly “organic,” or just jack up his nervous system and reflexes, along with a pump that controls his adrenaline levels. Red will have one fully cybernetic lower-leg, plus whatever implants she might already have. Kent has some synaptic/nervous system implants. Who knows what the cop has. :) Thanks for the comments! I needed to get a “good guy” POV in here.
I couldn’t play it for 2 weeks because my leg was SO sore from the kick-drum. Finally picked it up again today and let it convince me, once again, that I am too white to have musical talent. And that beer and drums don’t mix.
Women! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t shoot ‘em. Well…not legally, anyway… Kind of sad that this is actually how some people think, and a good look at how frustrating it can be to observe someone who’s beautiful, but doesn’t think they are.
That’s good stuff. I could never write a lick of poetry myself, although I do like poems. I’ve really got to respect a good poet, especially when I consider how much harder it must be to make a poem fit into 1024-character limits. Every word and punctuation mark is so important. Good piece, JM.
I seem to have drank too much beer and played too much Rockband. Sigh. Anyway, John…you research your critique, man! I couldn’t even pick that one out, and I think I own everything Gibson ever wrote.
And Aladdin’s Castle, ha! I haven’t been in one of those in years!
If I went back to 1984, what would I do? Buy gas. Lots of it.
Now you’re just messing with me! Benny, Louise and Kent have been our POV’s, so far. Red is a primary supporting character. Whether or not there’s gonna be further characters thrown into the mix down the road, I dunno. Get there when I get there.
Whoops! Good catch, John. I originally had that as “A dusty stack of magazines sat on top of a table” or something like that, and changed it around last minute to reach Nirvana.
Heh, interesting side-note, I’d also totally forgotten Kent’s name in “A Little Less Red.” I published it first as “Kevin Johnson,” but it kept bugging me. Had to go back to figure it out…and I’m not entirely sure that this was the first time I got it wrong!
Again, maybe I made it unclear. I’ll clear it up in the next few posts, but also here. Louise is the decker/netrunner who has been working with Benny throughout the series so far. She’s the voice in his head.
“Ghost in the Dinette” and “Through the Eyes of a Killer” were told from her P.O.V.
And yes, I purposefully, very painstakingly made her gender unclear in previous posts. :)
Heh, that was kind of unintended when I started this series. My original thought was that Benny & Red were gonna hook up at some point, which is why I picked Kent’s POV as one of the perspectives of the story. But that’s just how these things happen. You make a character, and all of the sudden they have a life of their own.
I posted a comment, but it didn’t show up. Try again…sorry if it repeats. Gonna focus on the grammatical stuff if it does, that was the important part. You know I like your stories.
1st paragraph, you used “it’s” instead of “its.” “It’s” is a contraction for “it is,” and “its” is a possessive pronoun.
4th paragraph, 2nd sentence just feels clunky to me. Maybe: ”...wondered what it would have been like to be here in her glory days.”
And last paragraph, I think that “now” was meant to be “new.”
Ha, Johnny Mnemonic was a fun movie, even if it didn’t really do the short story quite enough justice. Watched it a few weeks ago, in fact, was pretty fun.
Very fascinating story, Kev. I think I’m going to have to go back over the last few posts again, maybe got ahead of myself. I get what happened, but not how or why, exactly. Second read-through is a must.
And I’m with Kaellinn on this one. The biblical tie-in literally gave me goose-bumps.
I’m really surprised that this is your first dabbling into writing fiction, Kev. The first few posts were rough, but you’ve really settled into a solid style that’s working for you, and like I’ve said, is pulling us in deeper and deeper. Keep up the great work!
Sorry I’ve been behind on this, Kev. Catching up to you now, and I gotta tell you, man, you’re really getting me into this ficlet series. Awesome stuff!
Heh, and I guess all the consoles would be called iConsoles. Ah well, Steve Jobs will just have to roll over in his grave when the Lockheed-Apple merger happens!
I like this piece a lot. As others said before me, very whimsical and creative. I haven’t read too many stories from this challenge yet, but this was definitely a fun play on numbers and their relationships.
Yeah, the push and slide is just him getting away from the wall and making some room for a fight. He’s jumpy, definitely unstable and way out of his element with these guys. Love that phrase too, heh, and I had to throw it into one of these stories somewhere.
There we go. There’s a quick 3 for the beginning of the work week! I like how this scene has played out, and the story is really moving along at a good pace. Think I’ve about got the hang of the 1000-character limit.
Heh, I struggled with that. Lockheed-Apple…I was like, what’s something kind’ve outlandish, but believable for a future, corporation dominated world? Apple, sure! Now, a merger between current companies. Computers…jets…hmmm. It’s prophetic.
A “Blade Runner” feel is definitely one of my aims. I love the gritty feel to that movie, and it’s one of my absolute favorites. Plus, it’s the same genre, and that’s always a good thing.
Thanks guys! I’m glad this 1am “filler post” was good!
You’re CANADIAN!? That explains a lot. Haha…just kidding, man. Nah, Benny’s not schizo, he’s actually got someone patched into his head, talking to him.
Yeah, Neuromancer is a difficult read the first time around. I loved it, but had to read it three times before I totally understood everything that happened. Good book on the first read-through, fantastic book on the second.
And as far as Benny being an infallible badass, he’s not. Just a rough and tumble guy jacked up on drugs and cybernetic implants. Was it not clear in the story that the reason he tripped was because of momentary blindness as his cybernetic eyes shifted to lowlight?
Nah, it’ll come clearer here in the next few entries, but I’ll clear it up a little. There’s three characters so far: Benny, who is a “bagman,” or a criminal courier. The character in this entry is the voice in Benny’s head, who is a person apart from the scene who is working on the net to coordinate Benny with his surroundings and employers. And Kent, a pilot for a news agency (New Orleans Worldwide News).
Yeah, I guess it’s just a bad habit I’ve gotten into. Changed “loosing” to “unloading.” Writing first-person, past-tense is tough for me, I can’t think that I’ve ever done it before. So it’s kind’ve an experiment for me.
I struggled with that too: grit/gritted. It was late, I’ll probably just change the line.
And I’m hella glad to inspire, Amo, thanks for the comment! Keep up!
And yeah, so far we have 3 character view-points. Benny the Bagman, Kent the pilot, and the as-yet-unnamed netrunner/decker. Browncoatben has expressed that he likes “Red” too, and is interested in her, but I think that’s just cuz she’s redheaded and has jubblies. Either way, she might become a major part in the story too.
Second time I’ve done that, and I thought that I was using the right word. You know, like “letting loose a whole helluva lotta bullets.” Loosing? I’ll have to check it out.
There we go, back into the real meat of the story. And the pilot’s name is finally revealed…don’t know why I didn’t before. Probably because I couldn’t think of one. Kent. Real original. Imaginative. Anyway, the series should pick up again…I’m starting to get a real direction in my mind.
Yeah, this was a bit of strange “filler” type entry. I’d started off with a whole different train of thought on the first paragraph, then totally shifted gears.
I don’t really think the first paragraph deserves italics, though. It’s not so much an internal dialog as it is kind of a mood-setter, if you will. I might take another look at this another day and decide to change it, though. It doesn’t really fit well into the story right there.
And I really appreciate the honest critique you guys have been giving me. As I’ve said before, paring down the stories to fit this format is tough for me, but challenging. I’m having a lot of fun with it, though, and I’m really liking the direction everything is going. You keep readin’, I’ll keep writin’!
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2:
posted about 1 month ago
On Real Emotion in a Plastic World:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 2, Part 1:
posted about 1 month ago
On .357 - Sweet Dreams:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 3:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 3:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 2:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Gerideon Chronicles: Chapter 1, Part 1:
posted about 1 month ago
On Back in the Swing (Ficlets Challenge!):
posted about 1 month ago
On Perkins Always Dies Twice or Kevin Lawver must die.:
posted about 1 month ago
On Ficlets Island [Wonderful World o Ficlets Challenge]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Make Someone's Day Challenge:
posted about 1 month ago
On Back in the Swing (Ficlets Challenge!):
posted about 1 month ago
On Don't Leave [Backwards Challenge]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Don't Leave [Backwards Challenge]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Something in My Eye [Backwards Challenge]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: Bad Business:
posted about 1 month ago
On My First Ficlet/Jacek's new beginning:
posted about 1 month ago
On Innocent Until Proven Guilty:
posted about 1 month ago
On Jenny and The Cookies:
posted about 1 month ago
On Myra Part 4:
posted about 1 month ago
On Myra Part 4:
posted about 1 month ago
On Myra Part 2:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Fun Way To Hell:
posted about 1 month ago
On VHS - Wonderful World of Ficlets Challenge:
posted about 1 month ago
On I'd Give My Right Arm To Be Normal:
posted about 1 month ago
On toby sex:
posted about 1 month ago
On Toby intimate:
posted about 1 month ago
On Dirty Days:
posted about 1 month ago
On .375 - Breaking the Bad News:
posted about 1 month ago
On Don't Leave [Backwards Challenge]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Back in the Swing (Ficlets Challenge!):
posted about 1 month ago
On egnellahC sdrawkcaB ((Backwars Challenge))!:
posted about 1 month ago
On Conclusion/Beginning: The Meaning of Freedom [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Snapped [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Solution [egnellahC sdrawkcaB]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Exposing The Secret (egnellahC sdrawkcaB):
posted about 1 month ago
On Rogue Rage (egnellahC sdrawkcaB):
posted about 1 month ago
On Broken Window (egnellahC sdrawkcaB):
posted about 1 month ago
On The First.:
posted about 1 month ago
On The End. ((egnellahC sdrawkcaB)):
posted about 1 month ago
On The Peasant Part 8:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Peasant Part 1:
posted about 1 month ago
On REACTr: Come to Crash the Party?:
posted about 1 month ago
On Drum of War:
posted about 1 month ago
On You Know You're Ficlets Obsessed When You Have The Signin Page as Your Homepage. (Wonderful World of Ficlets Challenge) [wow what a looong title!!]:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: Officers Down:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: Burned Out:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Pillar - A Guided Tour:
posted about 1 month ago
On The Pillar - The Next Move:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: Burned Out:
posted about 1 month ago
On Petition To Have John Perkins Legally Declared Awesome. Sign It Or Your Cat Will Get Fleas.:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: Live at the Scene:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: A Clear Blue Spike:
posted about 1 month ago
On .357 - The Haunting:
posted about 1 month ago
On .357 - The Beginning:
posted about 1 month ago
On .357 - Remorse:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: The Captain:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: VTOL at the Window:
posted about 1 month ago
On REACTr: Building the Perfect Beast:
posted about 1 month ago
On REACTr: Phantom Pain... but it Still Hurts:
posted about 1 month ago
On REACTr: Phantom Pain... but it Still Hurts:
posted about 1 month ago
On Holy Mission:
posted about 1 month ago
On Bagman: A Good Funeral:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Shots Fired:
posted 2 months ago
On Darkness Cover Me 3 (Dead Tell Tales Challenge):
posted 2 months ago
On The GummiGeist.(The Dead Tell Tales Challenge):
posted 2 months ago
On Red {Part 2 - Unexpected Twist Challenge}:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: The Broken Maiden:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Put'n the "Dick" in "Detective":
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Would You Please Die, Sir?:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: DataBomb:
posted 2 months ago
On Everybody's Envy (Unexpected Twist Challenge):
posted 2 months ago
On Tuesday:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Cerberus3:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fisticuffs! (rewrite):
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Finally, Danger Music:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: The Broken Maiden:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: The Broken Maiden:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Cerberus3:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Pandemonium:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fire and a Fight:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Chrome Cat:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: A Good Funeral:
posted 2 months ago
On Rutaffo, the Super Ref [Great Supporting Character Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fisticuffs! (original):
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fisticuffs! (rewrite):
posted 2 months ago
On A Date to the Eagle Site:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fire and a Fight:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fisticuffs! (rewrite):
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fire and a Fight:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Put'n the "Dick" in "Detective":
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Fisticuffs! (rewrite):
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Put'n the "Dick" in "Detective":
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Welcome to the Freak Show:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Feathery Hammer:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Reporting Live:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Full of Surprises:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Welcome to the Freak Show:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: Welcome to the Freak Show:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: A Taste of Something Smuggled In:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: A Taste of Something Smuggled In:
posted 2 months ago
On REACTr: 2:00AM in the Driving Rain:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 34:
posted 2 months ago
On Lethal Injection [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Finally, Danger Music:
posted 2 months ago
On Accidents? [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Lethal Injection [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Accidents? [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On One Truth to Another [Out of Order Challenge:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Crumbs to Wisconsin:
posted 2 months ago
On Instructions Not Included:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - The Beg-end-ing:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Not My Style:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Deadline Run:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 27:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Big Mistake:
posted 2 months ago
On Dissociative Fugue [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland- Part 24:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 22:
posted 2 months ago
On HIS Screams Will Shake the Heavens:
posted 2 months ago
On Dissociative Fugue [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland- Part 15:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Playing Stupid:
posted 2 months ago
On The Fog [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Morphine Drool (Out-of-Order Challenge):
posted 2 months ago
On HIS Prayers Will Go Unanswered:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 14:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland: Part 12:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 10: Safety Dance:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 8:
posted 2 months ago
On Into Hiding:
posted 2 months ago
On The Fog [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: I Heart Mom:
posted 2 months ago
On The Fog [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Street King:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: I Heart Mom:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Everyone has a Record:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Everyone has a Record:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 5:
posted 2 months ago
On Terry's Troubles:
posted 2 months ago
On Battling a demon:
posted 2 months ago
On Battling a demon:
posted 2 months ago
On She jumped the gun, and he failed to hold her interest:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Benny & Louise:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Everyone has a Record:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 5:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Benny & Louise:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Phantom Leg:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Benny & Louise:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: A Little Less Red:
posted 2 months ago
On Ask the Wonderball:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 4:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 4:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 3:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 2:
posted 2 months ago
On Alex in Wonderland - Part 1:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Phantom Leg:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Benny & Louise:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: A Little Less Red:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Three Black Suits:
posted 2 months ago
On Möbius Strip: Epilogue - Strangers in a Strange Land:
posted 2 months ago
On Möbius Strip: Epilogue - Madonna and Child:
posted 2 months ago
On Möbius Strip: Wake the Princess - Part 3:
posted 2 months ago
On Möbius Strip: Wake the Princess - Part 2:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Blurred Image:
posted 2 months ago
On On Saturday:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Payday:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: One Shell Square:
posted 2 months ago
On Random song that popped into my head. Really sucks, you probably don't want to read it, I just wanted to write it down before I forgot or something.:
posted 2 months ago
On Random song that popped into my head. Really sucks, you probably don't want to read it, I just wanted to write it down before I forgot or something.:
posted 2 months ago
On Trying to sneak it in [Challenge by Numbers]:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Payday:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: One Shell Square:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Payday:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Blurred Image:
posted 2 months ago
On The Bus Stop:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Blurred Image:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Back to Work:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Back to Work:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Through a Killer's Eyes:
posted 2 months ago
On Ode to Backspace:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Play it Safe:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Reporter Down:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Through a Killer's Eyes:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Through a Killer's Eyes:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - A Bargain at Twice the Price:
posted 2 months ago
On A Uniform Not Forgotten:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Reverse ADHD:
posted 2 months ago
On Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile:
posted 2 months ago
On I Die For You:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Hot Pickup:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Reverse ADHD:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Hot Pickup:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - The Final Check:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Reverse ADHD:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - Opportunity:
posted 2 months ago
On Simple Case [Out of Order Challenge]:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - He's No Hero:
posted 2 months ago
On Out-of-Order Challenge - The Extra Bag:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Ghost in the Dinette:
posted 2 months ago
On Bagman: Ghost in the Dinette:
posted 2 months ago