Lee Braiden's posted comments

  1. On The Muties:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Interesting; makes me want to hear more about these muties.

    The accent thing didn’t work for me though; I always do a double-take when I see people thinking (rather than talking) with an accent. I don’t think people would notice their own accent much, when thinking to themselves or even listening to themselves talk. I think the general advice is to keep the main characters of a story without accents, and just accent foreigners they meet.

    Otherwise, good :)

  2. On A Reading from the Book of Lucas (1:1-13) [thebetweenspace Make Me Laugh Challenge]:

    posted about 1 month ago

    You know, that “saved you from the drudgery of 2001” part is very true :)

  3. On Twice as fast [Make Me Laugh Challenge]:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Thanks guys :)

    @THX: you should check out Beverly Hills Ninja sometime. It’s great :D

  4. On Lilac Wind:

    posted about 1 month ago

    This rocks :) A few very minor things bugged me, like repeating the smell of lilacs and lilac bush as separate ideas instead of just making them deliberately one. Also, “it it.. it wants” didn’t work for me. I would have phrased that differently. But those are tiny flaws for me. Generally I loved the feel; it’s the kind of writing I try to aim for myself :) Very well done.

  5. On Not like any other guy:

    posted about 1 month ago

    I like this. Nice simple, human moments between people, told in a straightforward way. Two suggestions: one is that a little more action or noticing of details between the conversation would be good—how Ethan laughed, and Faith’s reaction to noticing it, instead of just that he laughed, for instance. Also, reading Faith’s thoughts at the start, as if we’re inside Faith’s head, and then reading ’”...” Faith said’ on the next line is a bit jarring. But that’s following the series, so not your fault!:)

  6. On Needs:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Nicely done :) I like the graphic depiction of her state at the start, the denial, and the way that the man seems to succeed in getting through, but also to potentially seal his fate. The father aspect is interesting too…there’s potential there for him to be the father in question, which might make the escaping bullet a much bigger source of conflict for the girl :) I thought it would have been more realistic with expletives, but I can understand wanting to avoid them :)

  7. On Flower-like Resemblance:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Love the comparison of a human heart with nature’s other delicate creations :)

    Also… this reminds me of something Mark Twain said: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that violet sheds on the heel that crushes it” :)

  8. On Hearts in Darkness:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Thanks :) I just realised that the middle part read very differently from my intention, so I’ve re-phrased it a little.

  9. On Once a cheater, always a cheater.:

    posted about 1 month ago

    Hahhhah, that’s great :D

  10. On Some other time [Deja Vu]:

    posted 2 months ago

    Thanks NM :)

    Not a past life; more a dream of one :)

  11. On Bugs! (Invisible Challenge):

    posted 2 months ago

    Inspired by a haiku, which goes:

    Watch out! You’ll
    Hit your head on that rock
    Fireflies

    :)

  12. On Lipogram:

    posted 2 months ago

    Nicely done :) I thought the “my girl” part sounded a little awkward at the start, but under the circumstances, it’s a good choice :)

  13. On Beyond the Snow:

    posted 2 months ago

    Loved the connection, and the slight taboo of the (potentially) secret vision. Sweet and childlike, but with hints of a long, interesting, adventurous future of two kindred spirits growing up together. There’s a slight sense of loneliness too, with the kids only having adults around and then suddenly finding someone similar. Good stuff.

  14. On Now That You've Found "Perfect":

    posted 2 months ago

    I like this too. Very honest, vulnerable human questions, well expressed, but without too much self-pity. Good job :)

  15. On Prequel... randomised:

    posted 2 months ago

    Yeah, I guess I was having fun with it and didn’t take the ending seriously enough. Probably could have been better with more thought. Thanks for the inspiration though; it’s great to read a ficlet and suddenly be moved to write something similar :)

  16. On I, Aphid:

    posted 2 months ago

    Hahhah, good stuff Spiff. I wasn’t expecting that at all, but looking back on my story after reading this, it works well :)

  17. On An Unremarkable Factory:

    posted 2 months ago

    Another new member thanking you for the intro to ficlets :) Great writing, btw Will :)

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