Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy's Favorites
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The YodaOnCrack Rap Song

My name is Yoda
That’s what I told-ya
Come an inch closer and I’ll smoke-ya
with my light saber or a _jedi mind tric…
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I Need To Talk
In the middle of class she isn’t feeling so well. Her head slips down onto her notebook and she drifts into another world. Wh…
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Five Things I Have Not Had the Guts to Tell Anyone:

Five Things I Have Not Had the Guts to Tell Anyone:
1. You’re fat.
2. I stole your wallet.
3. I dented your car when I dro…
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Don't Call When You're On Painkillers And Booze

When she got back from the emergency animal hospital, she decided the painkillers would work better if washed down with Crown…
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Quirky, Who Says I'm Quirky? (Pens' Quirky Challenge)

1. I put an icecube in hot chocolate and tea.
2. I take off the lettuce, tomato, onions on a hoagie (sub sandwhich on a long … -
The Angry Comic

Somehow he got past security. Maybe his skills as an actor on TV, stage and screen had paid off.
The honored guest was finis…
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Saint Chuck: A [not quite] Philosophical Explanation

Saint Chuck. Holy with a modern Twist.
Okay, so the Saint really doesn’t imply that I have holy or saintlike qualities. ...
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uselessness: A Philosophical Exploration of the Pen Name That Has No Use

Steven was the college dropout who drove his ‘74 International Scout into a ditch less than a block away from home. He marrie…
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Break The Law And Go To Jail

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Ready..Aim...Fire: Hunting for Not So Funny Bear

In the woods with their shotguns at the ready the elderly gentleman stood poised, a naked bear in the crosshairs.
“Wait, I t…
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New Years Resolution Challenge: Stop Procrastinating

You think every year of what needs to be changed, New Years seems to be the perfect time to make changes. New year new you ri…
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British Accent (Profile Picture Challenge)

“Let me borrow a pen, and I will teach you how to speak in a british accent.” Said Steven.
Almost a year ago now, but yet I …
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She Likes Me Too

“Hey, Wyatt!” Eric called over to his buddy. “Come look at this!”
“Huh? What’s what?” Wyatt pulled the one ear phone out of …
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Thirrin Josephine Swan: A not so philosophical explanation of the pen name that uses the names of 3 different people (yeah i know, you're jealous)

Thirrin Josephine Swan
Those are all names of girls in some of my favorite books ever!
Thirrin is the name of the main ch…
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The Modern Monkey-Rope (Sports Challenge)

I looked up at him from the floor, wondering how it was that he could climb so high with so little to hold on to.
The room …
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A Place for a Challenge
I feel inclined to write a challenge. Why? Maybe it’s because I have underdeveloped ideas, festering, not willing to break th…
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Echad

She was crazy about him.
He loved the way they had tangled-up together over the years. First it was just their limbs. He th…
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Breaking Up is Hard (Though Rocket Launchers Make it Significantly Easier)
Gates turned the corner in full sprint, and skidded to a stop. “Bollocks!” he shouted. Another hallway. Another dead-end.
Ga…
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Can He Catch You?
Man lurks in parking lot.
Masks his nerves with yet another cigarette and waits to catch a few girls out on their own this s…
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Stevie Is Not A Murderer
I had heard the allegations, seen his face on the news, but once I saw his eyes, I knew I could not turn him in. Although all…
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Oh Gertrude, how you perplex us all.

:: TOMATO ::
Soft, but lacking in ribbon. Reminiscent of curves, yet shallow. Shallow but not scattered. Blushing. Deeply….
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"Making It" Is Redifined

“You’re never going to get anywhere by just doing nothing!” He looks at me in confusion, “I started out small, kept my nose c…
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Vera & Adele.
“You get the good stories, though. I just get a lot of mediocre ones.” Vera stabbed another bunch of spinach with her fork as…
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Funny Thing Is...
Funny, I’d always thought I’d fall for a theatre geek. Neither of them are that type.
If you ask Boy something related to t…
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Monkey See, Monkey Do

“The monkeys told me I’d find you here,” I told the little girl as she sat on the street corner, crying.
“The monkeys don’t t… -
FICLET #100!!
“Say three random words,” I tell him.
“Three random words.” He grins. He thinks he’s witty.
“Seriously! Say three random wo…
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Uncomfortable Questions

“Rae! Wait!” He said, chasing after me.
I sped up, but he was right on behind me. I broke from my brisque walk into a casua…