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BernerOberland's Favorites

• Looking for a Heart of Gold

  by Lonely Boy in Virginia about 1 year ago

  Let me tell you about myself. I am a possibly bisexual male living in Virginia, I’m 19, and right about now I feel as if I we…

• Out Of the Shadows & Fog {Vampire Challenge}

  by SKermitgorf 9 months ago

  The mangy gray dog came out of the fog with stealth.
  I was startled at first and jumped back with trepidation.

  The haggard h…

• 5 Things I Have Never Told Anyone

  by Hobo Beard Bob 9 months ago

  1.) Your hair tastes like pasta. Mind if I cover it in Prego?

  2.) My house is made out of Vienna Sausages.

  3.) The governme…

• Ted And Alex pt 2

  by Apostrophe 9 months ago

  Alex gave his buds a high five as he walked up to the group. “Whos this?” Brent asked as he looked at the shorter kid, who r…

• What Goes On in The Dressing Room.. Stays In the Dressing Room

  by RunningWithScissors 9 months ago

• Going on a Bear Hunt

  by Hobo Beard Bob 9 months ago

• Bad News

  by Apostrophe 9 months ago

  Chris and Thora are sitting down to dinner. They look forward to this part of the day, where they sit down,relax and catch up…

• A Comprehensive Guide to Leaving Your Troubles Behind

  by [pens&feathers] 9 months ago

  Step one: Get in car, start engine. At this point, it’s always a good idea to roll down one or all of the windows. Never …

• OTOC: A Philosophical Exploration of the Pen Name That Is Like, So Totally Mine, So Yeah That's Right, Walk Away..

  by One Time, One Chance 9 months ago

  I’ve done this before, but second time’s the charm second time, right?

  So here we go. I wanted something different that wa…

• Ready..Aim...Fire: Hunting for Not So Funny Bear

  by SKermitgorf 9 months ago

  In the woods with their shotguns at the ready the elderly gentleman stood poised, a naked bear in the crosshairs.

  “Wait, I t…

• harry potters larger meaning (insightful challenge)

  by yoITSme 9 months ago

  People constantly make fun of me for my love of Harry Potter. So here, I will write what I think about the life changing book…

• Twain and Poe Have Words with the Inventor

  by uselessness 9 months ago

  Without warning, the aft bulkhead shuddered and a scruffy mustached man stumbled out from behind it.

  “A stowaway!” cried Poe…

• Three Fifteen, Dwayne Gets A Call That Would Get Him In Trouble With His Probation Officer

  by Howie Amourscow 9 months ago

• Life With Liam

  by SKermitgorf 8 months ago

  Liam loves Santa Claus. He loves presents. He loves the whole idea of Christmas except that it takes place in the morning. He…

• Have A Double!

  by Mistress Elsha Hawk 8 months ago

  He sat at the bar nursing a beer. He wore camo pants and a bright orange sweater jacket.

  “Why so glum?” the bartend attempte…

• Creatures

  by Saint Chuck 8 months ago

  James’s large frightened eyes traveled slowly around the room. The creatures, some sitting on chairs, others reclining on a s…

• Moving to NYC

  by Apostrophe 7 months ago

  They had been driving for what seemed like all day. Taylor fell asleep half way through the drive. She was lulled by the mome…

• My Little Cubicle

  by Never Explain 7 months ago

  My iPod headphones buzzed off the alarm. I groaned, and sat up in bed. I checked my watch.
  Yep, 4:30am. Right on time.
  I wa…

• "Dude, You Almost Killed Me"

  by SKermitgorf 7 months ago

  “Dude, wher’ed ya get that at?, can I hold it? Is it loaded?”, said an eager Zach.
  Bram replied, “In my dad’s closet. No you…

• "Do I Know You?"

  by SKermitgorf 7 months ago

  I successfully managed to duck the boss the entire morning.

  I had plans to meet my fiancee, Jolinda, at the sub shop down t…

• Adam Finds out

  by Apostrophe 6 months ago

  Adam had just finished his phone call with Trump. He completed a set of notes and reminders about tomorrows meeting. When sud…

• DA BEST BATTLE EVER OF THE KNIGHTS OF THE SQUARE TABLE

  by DARK! 6 months ago

  King Rudulf was in a duel to the death with Sir Harry of Potter, their swords were swinging at each other at a fevered pitch….

• ATTACK!!!!!

  by DARK! 6 months ago

  It was a regular day fishing. 2 fishermen named Kermitgorf, and Dark. It was just another trip.
  “SOOO BORD.” I said.

  “Well t…

• SWORD THE RIGHT WAY

  by DARK! 6 months ago

  SWORD !!!!!!
  BY
  ۞۞۞۞ DARK ۞۞۞۞

  It was a peaceful day in Camalot. Just the same square table, same everytihng, same sword…. w…

• Whiskers

  by DARK! 6 months ago

  I could not believe my eyes. Was that our cat Whiskers? walking on two legs?

  “Whisker”, I said astonishedly, “Is that you?”
  ...

• It's A Cat's Life for Fluffy

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  My owners leave me for days at a time and I see no one. They leave my bowl of cat kibbles on the counter, and a bowl of water…

• Prescription For A Pope

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  Pope Felix VIII had fallen ill. His physicians were clueless as to his ailment.

  They used leeches and bled him and drained h…

• Titles( Non-Fiction)- { More of a Rant than a Story}

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  I know you won’t mind if I sequel your ficlets, since that was one of your beefs that not enough ficleteers do.

  My rant is a…

• But what of Talking Cherries?

  by Mask By The Moon 6 months ago

  Yes, well, my dear friend Sheen has run out of the kitchen to see if he cannot be reunited with the bush he came off of. I wi…

• A Banana Has it's Say

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  Hello, I see you have met my friends Sheen and Miranda.
  Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Burton the Banana, I seem t…

• Gladys Grape

  by Mask By The Moon 6 months ago

  Sheen’s back to the bush, Miranda’s stuck behind the oven, Taylor is in hiding, and Burton’s finally escaped. Lucky, lucky th…

• Plum Pudding?

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  Perry Plum here, hiding in the pantry from the mad pie maker lady.

  So much fruit rolling all over the kitchen here, I might …

• Another Random Portrait of My Current Activities

  by Insert Pen Name Here 6 months ago

  Another Random Portrait of My Current Activities

  The girl sighed and shifted in her chair. Her head tilted slowly as she typ…

• The Skull

  by SKermitgorf 6 months ago

  Two boys were walking in the woods, just before dusk.
  “Yo Jin wait up, is that what I think it is?, Chen said.

  “Whoa dude, a…

• Music Challenge Winners (results)

  by Apostrophe 6 months ago

  I would like to begin this ficlet, by thanking everyone who participated in my challenge. Because of you, I have had somethin…

• Do I or do I Not? (200th Ficlet Challenge)

  by Blusparrow 6 months ago

  I hate him!

  Oh no, you know you love him.

  That is ridiculous! He is a complete idiot!

  _I think he is funny and cute. If …

• NEJA: The mascot

  by Mask By The Moon 5 months ago

  The comet collapsed.
  There was a crunch.
  There was a squeak of a gerbil running by.
  There was a crunch.

  The comet erupted …

• The Ultimate Showdown, Live, in your Living Room,Coming this Fall,Don't be the Only One on your Block to Miss it!

  by SKermitgorf 5 months ago

  The Ultimate Showdown was on!
  Captain Hook had just gouged out Sherlock Holmes eyes, Rodan was stomping on all the Ninja Tur…

• (Hear Ye Hear Ye Challenge) Alien Invasion

  by SKermitgorf 5 months ago

  “Alien Invasion, read all about It”, “Alien Invasion, read all about it”, the newspaper boy shouted from the busy street…

• Stella Star and the Great Ape Escape

  by SKermitgorf 4 months ago

  “Oh, you think you have won?, you think you have beaten me?, you little pint sized Shirley Temple doll, You may think you ha…

• Stella Star and the Flying Monkeys with Chinese Assault Rifles

  by YodaOnCrack 4 months ago

  “No, it can’t be. Bloody hell,” she said as she looked out the cockpit window. “Have I gone mad? What’s that through the wind…

• Recognition

  by SKermitgorf 4 months ago

  “Lets get a bite to eat. I’m starving,” Britney said.

  “Yeah me to babe, armed robbery really works up an appitite”, he laugh…

• A New Member of the Gang

  by SKermitgorf 4 months ago

  “And just who is we Pop’s?”, said Jared.

  “Yalls pictures all over da newpapers and the TV,” replied the older man. “It’s all…

• The Comprehensive (Compressed) Guide to Middle School Life, No. 1: Introduction

  by Stovohobo 4 months ago

  So. You’re a middle schooler. Perhaps you’re even a middle-aged man, despondent about your addiction to ficlets and that nast…

• The Comprehensive (Compressed) Guide to Middle School Life, No. 2: Social Classes

  by Stovohobo 4 months ago

  Jocks – can be followed by the suffix “strap.” Need I say more?

  Skater – some can be grouped with emos (though I honestl…

• The Painting(Paint a Picture Challenge)

  by SKermitgorf 4 months ago

  It was in the middle of the wall surrounded by other paintings, worth far more money, by better known artists, but there was…

• Make Me Laugh Results: The Finals: The Winner IS!!!!!!

  by thebetweenspace 4 months ago

  Serious Misgivings vs. Lame Clown

  Eliminated (And Why I Like ‘em):

  The Duel – Some of, in my opinion, the smartest an…

• Something blue

  by Pat J 4 months ago

  The fox was looking at me again. Narrow gold eyes, watching me, waiting for weakness.

  The mechanism clicked and clacked in t…

• How The Persian War Was Really Started

  by Holdini 4 months ago

  One day, during the hottest part of summer, the king of Sparta and the king of Persia met to have lunch. A giant table was se…

• Visiting Lincolin

  by Apostrophe 4 months ago

  Vanessa makes the exit for Lincolin. She follows the twists and turns as she leaves the highway. At the end of the exit she i…

• The Others-Failed Suicide

  by Fantasy 4 months ago

  She stood in the middle of the street, arms out, hair flowing in the wind, eyes closed…and feet firmly planted on the groun…

• Comforting Conversation

  by Apostrophe 4 months ago

  Thora looks up at Chris with her teary eyes. She flashes a weak smile. Chris looks down at her with admiration and love. “You…

• Getting some cake

  by Ryan Earle 4 months ago

  “I do believe it is time for cake.” The green giraffe said. “I concur.” the furry hippo replied.

  “Ok, I’ll go get some.” Ang…

• Zombie Revolution

  by uselessness 4 months ago

  Gasp! as the undead walk among us!

  Scream! as reanimated corpses hunger for flesh!

  Run! when they come after yo…

• Zombie Union

  by uselessness 4 months ago

  That was too easy. The zombie problem over, I turned on my heel to head back to the office and return to work. The man in the…

• Why I Eat Brains

  by Will Hindmarch 4 months ago

• Front Porch Conversations--Three

  by Watween 3 months ago

  “Hey look! Make a wish!”

  “What?”

  “It’s a shooting star!”

  “Oh, too late. Missed it.”

  “Aww.
  Hey, have you ever thought abou…

• Loving

  by wytherwings 3 months ago

  When you first start to love someone- in either sense of the word- you don’t see their flaws, or their weaknesses. It’s that …

• PeterPan My Life

  by PantherStar10 3 months ago

  I have been PeterPan’s BIGGEST fan since I was 2 1/2 the 1st time I saw PeterPan on broadway in NYC. I am 11 years old so as …

• Morning realization (Unexpected Twist Challenge)

  by Apostrophe 3 months ago

  Monica wakes up each morning at 8:00. This is when she separates herself from her dreams. It’s at this time that she mentall…

• I Love My Job? (Great Supporting Characters Challenge)

  by Mad As A Hatter 3 months ago

  “Bert, what’re you eating?” I asked, not at all sure I really wanted an aswer.

  “Cottage cheese!” he replied happily, shoveli…

• Charles In Trouble

  by SKermitgorf 3 months ago

  Alone in the dark dungeon I awoke. I heard the sound of rats scuttle across the floor. My heart skipped a beat.
  A door creak…

• The Coming of Lenin

  by THX 0477 3 months ago

  In a small cottage not too far away…

  I looked at myself in the mirror. There was no denying that I was magnificent. I wa…

• Official Business in a Treehouse [Scavenger Hunt Challenge]

  by THX 0477 3 months ago

  As their third member arrived in the treehouse, the meeting could commence.

  “Earl, in the yellow shirt? Really,” Ben scoffed…

• um...no title... sowwy! (scavenger hunt challenge)

  by Mask By The Moon 3 months ago

  Molly looked up at the lanky girl and her friend walking past.

  “Memphis, that’s impossible. No one would be able to make cho…

• Stupid Science Symposium (scavenger hunt challenge)

  by Mistress Elsha Hawk 3 months ago

  I entered the campus auditorium for the science symposium. I’d rather be out at the Secret Garden Restaurant and Pub with my …

• The Most Secure Place on the Planet

  by Stovohobo 3 months ago

  Derringmark Prison was the most secure place on the planet.

  Nestled in the remote mountains east of the Hub, it rose up like…

• Journal 1

  by Stovohobo about 1 year ago

  For some reason, I like a couple British bands (like Muse and the Arctic Monkeys), even though I’m American. I like to think …