Cute Literal translation taken to extremes and reminds me of my grandfather. We used to tell him to go through the traffic lights and he’d always say, “Through them? I rather hope I’d go past them.”
I like what you’re trying to say but I can’t feel any emotion for such a shocking possibility.
It's almost as if you're making a news report.
I think maybe a little more description, something to give a sense of being there, would help give this scene the sadness it needs and draw the reader in.
you should be able to edit the italics back into place basically it’s underscore no space words no space underscore and the stuff between the underscores are italics.
It would make this nice story a lot easier to read :)
lol I actually know a girl who went to a dentist and had all her teeth removed just because she found them awkward. Admittedly she didn’t take them out herself but hey this is the next closest thing.
Nice description and vignette, falls a little flat for me in the end since the story was so tame and ended. Would work very well in a longer story peice though
I like the idea and the premise behind the ficlet, there isn’t enough heart though, I don’t get the sense of any emotion in all of this its almost like a newscaster or reporting reciting facts. Wouldn’t take too much to fix though and like I said the idea is great.
Nice thoughtful piece, might want to recheck your spelling a little bit, e.g. you’re done, not your done, and debt instead of dept. Nicely done though otherwise.
Nice, :) I don’t know if i’d say the undersea creature relax though, lol i’ve seen too many animal planet programmes. I like the sensations you’re describing though.
Hehe cute. Hate to mention it though but the geek speak u, for you, isn’t quite accepted in the publishing world, (though you might get away with it in certain types of poetry.)
I like it a lot, the imagery is good, I query the tense though, you start out with “the mist descends” and then change tense to “the sun started.” Personally I would have used “the sun starts” to keep the tense through the whole piece
Nice, I was thinking though you could get more life in it from a first person pov. You have some really nice emotion and imagery but just feels like it’s taking too long to come out because of the perspective.
Douglas Adams style humor yes, not neccessarily Douglas Adams though. Styles of humor like plots are limited in number and its very easy to write comedy and make it look like someone else without even trying. (Hell, i do it often enough)
Nice but the ending was a little bit plain compared to your others. Was hoping for a snappy remark like. “I had to bring it back, it was trying to swim away…”
Never thought to ask the knight but one hopes he’s rather knightly and is a virgin, of course he might also come into the group of chilli dog. Female virgins are considered the traditional fare for a dragon, why no one knows but its been passed down through history. Also, for some reason, most legends deal with male dragons or genderless dragons, so hmm, female dragons I’m not sure of. Ronald is now a boy-toy LOL well I think Cindy’s going to be pulling a few of his strings so yeah. :)
Nice story kk, started off really well but feels, to me like you rushed the end a little, trying to get all the bits in that you wanted (tough writing with such limitations isn’t it lol)
Very nice story but have to agree the multiple letters drove me crazy. would probably help too, if you could extra space between para’s but that’s just me being picky
I can see it working as a song, not bad. Needs a little spell checking though. If you don’t write in Word Dani see if you can download a copy of aspel it’s a freebie and does a sort of decent spellchecking job.
On I Want to Be a Decepticon:
posted 8 months ago
On Cars in the Water:
posted 8 months ago
On Kiss and Ride:
posted 8 months ago
On Ficlet the 200th and the DOUBLE CHALLENGE!:
posted about 1 year ago
On Yoda'lling on.:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Mind relieved:
posted about 1 year ago
On The End is Not Enough:
posted about 1 year ago
On FICLET #100!!:
posted about 1 year ago
On The End is Not Enough:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Tables Turned:
posted about 1 year ago
On Gray Day:
posted about 1 year ago
On Consumption and Calamity:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Mind relieved:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Mind relieved:
posted about 1 year ago
On Double-Cross:
posted about 1 year ago
On The End is Not Enough:
posted about 1 year ago
On Merrily We Roll Along:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Pain:
posted about 1 year ago
On My Dream:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hazel Eyes:
posted about 1 year ago
On Van Mantra's Capture:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Mind?:
posted about 1 year ago
On 62nd Floor:
posted about 1 year ago
On Picnic Tables:
posted about 1 year ago
On Last Kiss:
posted about 1 year ago
On The First Sightings:
posted about 1 year ago
On On the Eve of the End :
posted about 1 year ago
On Yoda'lling on.:
posted about 1 year ago
On No Sleep for the Weary:
posted about 1 year ago
On Enter the Liberace....!:
posted about 1 year ago
On The First Sightings:
posted about 1 year ago
On Subways Aren't What They Seem:
posted about 1 year ago
On Ice Cream Ecstasy:
posted about 1 year ago
On My 100th Ficlet and a Message: Your Choice:
posted about 1 year ago
On Yolkie Van Ackle (prt. 2):
posted about 1 year ago
On 100TH Ficlet:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Butler's Pride:
posted about 1 year ago
On Will you let me let you live:
posted about 1 year ago
On Work-aholic:
posted about 1 year ago
On Introductions:
posted about 1 year ago
On Mrs. Neighbor Lady aka What's with all the Dogs?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Insomnia :
posted about 1 year ago
On Of Hot Pockets and Unnecessary Police Reports:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Orange Incident:
posted about 1 year ago
On Ficletcentennial:
posted about 1 year ago
On Luck of Some Sort:
posted about 1 year ago
On Luck of Some Sort:
posted about 1 year ago
On End of an Enemy (Guardians Ep. 29):
posted about 1 year ago
On A Long Awaited Return:
posted about 1 year ago
On Stupid Bunny - Help Arrives:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Writer's Best Friend:
posted about 1 year ago
On Stupid bunny won't start:
posted about 1 year ago
On a letter to the north:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Book Of i:
posted about 1 year ago
On Duck Fishin:
posted about 1 year ago
On Considering the Options:
posted about 1 year ago
On Money for Nothing:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Deal's A Deal:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hell on Ipecache Pt. 4:
posted about 1 year ago
On Crash:
posted about 1 year ago
On Iris:
posted about 1 year ago
On Zombies!?:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Blizzard of '78:
posted about 1 year ago
On Zo and the Gator:
posted about 1 year ago
On Dance Macabre:
posted about 1 year ago
On *Devastation*:
posted about 1 year ago
On Storm Runner:
posted about 1 year ago
On Eye of Mystery:
posted about 1 year ago
On Eye of Mystery:
posted about 1 year ago
On Questions, Answers:
posted about 1 year ago
On Trippin':
posted about 1 year ago
On On The Porch:
posted about 1 year ago
On Circumstantial Decimates:
posted about 1 year ago
On Four-Color Treachery:
posted about 1 year ago
On Caseload:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Truth is Stranger Than Fiction:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hell on Ipecache Pt. 4:
posted about 1 year ago
On Start of the Curse:
posted about 1 year ago
On And Who Would Turn Down A Classic?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Sleep Interests Me:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hell on Ipecache Pt. 2:
posted about 1 year ago
On Victims of Circumstance:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Cart:
posted about 1 year ago
On Four Twenty - Five Years Later:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Mother's Day Conversation:
posted about 1 year ago
On Dad, Do I love you?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Deft Delays and Darker Dealings:
posted about 1 year ago
On Plane Crash:
posted about 1 year ago
On Strange Things are Afoot at The Rusty Tailpipe:
posted about 1 year ago
On Motive:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Cop Arrives:
posted about 1 year ago
On Echad:
posted about 1 year ago
On A.I. Lost:
posted about 1 year ago
On Right on the edge of the world:
posted about 1 year ago
On Event Planning.:
posted about 1 year ago
On Nothing Like a Little Lightning to Ruin a Date:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Departure:
posted about 1 year ago
On "Tell me why, Suzanne.":
posted about 1 year ago
On Mommy?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Flowers For You:
posted about 1 year ago
On Event Of The Season:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Mystery Of 28 Yellow Shoes:
posted about 1 year ago
On Drinks for Two:
posted about 1 year ago
On ...And What Do We have:
posted about 1 year ago
On Will Morning Find Me Miles Away?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Tina's Taxes:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Dark Forest:
posted about 1 year ago
On TOTALLY ENCHANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
posted about 1 year ago
On Prophetic Words:
posted about 1 year ago
On Brazillian Maid:
posted about 1 year ago
On the item in the glass case:
posted about 1 year ago
On Oversized Cozy Sweater:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jessica Patiently Observes the End of the World:
posted about 1 year ago
On Monochrome:
posted about 1 year ago
On Windows of the Soul:
posted about 1 year ago
On Yearnings:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Flower:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Sun of Sons:
posted about 1 year ago
On i let it happen again.(fall out of love):
posted about 1 year ago
On The Eighth Wonder of the World.:
posted about 1 year ago
On Are we remembered?:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Mist:
posted about 1 year ago
On Save The Troops.:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Fool And His Destiny:
posted about 1 year ago
On Mud Bath:
posted about 1 year ago
On Talking Frogs Included?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Blood Lead:
posted about 1 year ago
On Cheater:
posted about 1 year ago
On Mr. 12, Or: Will I ever learn?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Left or Right?:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Odour Out Of Space:
posted about 1 year ago
On Tap tap three:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Leaf's Life:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hormones Win Every Time:
posted about 1 year ago
On Tough Love:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Wreck of the Zheng He:
posted about 1 year ago
On wating for my freedom:
posted about 1 year ago
On A scream in the rain:
posted about 1 year ago
On Fetching Mr.Finchman:
posted about 1 year ago
On Slurpee and a Shooting:
posted about 1 year ago
On Anti-Cat Mojo:
posted about 1 year ago
On Beware of Cat:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Barney Conspiracy:
posted about 1 year ago
On Blinking at me:
posted about 1 year ago
On Caring is our business... :
posted about 1 year ago
On THE HOLLOW: A Fairy Tale:
posted about 1 year ago
On hoping for better things :
posted about 1 year ago
On I dream of you:
posted about 1 year ago
On A Kiss:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Tower of Song:
posted about 1 year ago
On Home at last - and asleep:
posted about 1 year ago
On Origin of the cookie:
posted about 1 year ago
On Falling Men Fell Incorrectly (CLFM 47):
posted about 1 year ago
On The End (CLFM 49):
posted about 1 year ago
On Ruins:
posted about 1 year ago
On test:
posted about 1 year ago
On First Wave Complications:
posted about 1 year ago
On Underneath the Dreaming Tree:
posted about 1 year ago
On A fart in the dark-she speaks!:
posted about 1 year ago
On Flee For the Hills (CLFM 41):
posted about 1 year ago
On A scream in the rain:
posted about 1 year ago
On Blue Sky:
posted about 1 year ago
On Where the cookie came from:
posted about 1 year ago
On still working on it.. :):
posted about 1 year ago
On Relived (CLFM 30):
posted about 1 year ago
On Too Fast! (CLFM 22):
posted about 1 year ago
On Fizz banged-up (CLFM 3):
posted about 1 year ago
On Tommy:
posted about 1 year ago
On a life found?:
posted about 1 year ago
On First Alert:
posted about 1 year ago
On Deal Gone Sour?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Anso's Schooling:
posted about 1 year ago
On It Won't Be Boring:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hope this helps:
posted about 1 year ago
On part two:
posted about 1 year ago
On What can I say?:
posted about 1 year ago
On resurrection of a beloved man:
posted about 1 year ago
On What is heaven like:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' third miracle.. sort of.:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' expose on Heaven:
posted about 1 year ago
On getting onto the meatier subjects:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' descent:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' learning reasons:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' first miracle:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' second coming 2:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' second coming:
posted about 1 year ago
On almost concluded - 2:
posted about 1 year ago
On almost concluded:
posted about 1 year ago
On Tobin and Flandip recover and talk:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jocinda - meet mice:
posted about 1 year ago
On Full circle:
posted about 1 year ago
On time travel statistics:
posted about 1 year ago
On Did you think it would get normal?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Please leave the planet:
posted about 1 year ago
On Convention concluded:
posted about 1 year ago
On Magrathea:
posted about 1 year ago
On catfish tales:
posted about 1 year ago
On The fish speaks:
posted about 1 year ago
On don the catfish:
posted about 1 year ago
On Speech with the boss:
posted about 1 year ago
On This sounds fishy:
posted about 1 year ago
On Take me to your leader:
posted about 1 year ago
On Meet our leader:
posted about 1 year ago
On Flying phobia:
posted about 1 year ago
On Further into the rabbit hole:
posted about 1 year ago
On My cat did WHAT?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Introducing Joe and Cindy - puppeteers:
posted about 1 year ago
On Now you see her... damn...:
posted about 1 year ago
On There be dragons here... drat.....:
posted about 1 year ago
On the bunny slippers will look like what??:
posted about 1 year ago
On now you don't see her:
posted about 1 year ago
On Enter dragon:
posted about 1 year ago
On If The Slippers Fit:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Bunny Slippers are Key:
posted about 1 year ago
On The pigeon's role in this.:
posted about 1 year ago
On finally getting dressed:
posted about 1 year ago
On My cat in all this mess:
posted about 1 year ago
On Part Tres - sneaky snake:
posted about 1 year ago
On The worst day of my life (Part 2 with more snake):
posted about 1 year ago
On my sorrow:
posted about 1 year ago
On The worst day of my life.. :):
posted about 1 year ago
On Are we on number 10 now?:
posted about 1 year ago
On Beyond is Never Enough:
posted about 1 year ago
On Jesus' second coming:
posted about 1 year ago
On It Gets Better:
posted about 1 year ago
On Desertion:
posted about 1 year ago
On ...and Loose Change:
posted about 1 year ago
On Please don't hurt me.:
posted about 1 year ago
On ...Never reaching the end:
posted about 1 year ago
On Other Ways Than Straight Ahead (Guardians, Ep. 21):
posted about 1 year ago
On Finishing Touches:
posted about 1 year ago
On Consequences Of Drinking:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Awakening:
posted about 1 year ago
On I Think I Lost It:
posted about 1 year ago
On It Starts With Sorry:
posted about 1 year ago
On THE HOLLOW: A Fairy Tale:
posted about 1 year ago
On Pixies and Dust:
posted about 1 year ago
On Thoughts: I'm Still Thinking:
posted about 1 year ago
On Cute Cuisine:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Addiction:
posted about 1 year ago
On An Earthly Peace:
posted about 1 year ago
On I-70:
posted about 1 year ago
On Cowardice:
posted about 1 year ago
On New home, new mom:
posted about 1 year ago
On Just Married/40 days:
posted about 1 year ago
On Hospital Bed:
posted about 1 year ago
On Anso to Ficino 4/1497:
posted about 1 year ago
On Imprisoned (Guardians, Ep. 19):
posted about 1 year ago
On The Argentine Affair:
posted about 1 year ago
On Vivid & Wicked:
posted about 1 year ago
On Home:
posted about 1 year ago
On Bait and Switch:
posted about 1 year ago
On Titles Makes You Touchable:
posted about 1 year ago
On Princess of the Valley:
posted about 1 year ago
On After ten years:
posted about 1 year ago
On Melanaria's Dragon:
posted about 1 year ago
On Get Me Out of this Nut House!:
posted about 1 year ago
On Does this smell OK to you?:
posted about 1 year ago
On The Amazing Colossal Tabby:
posted about 1 year ago
On ...:
posted about 1 year ago