Howie Amourscow's Favorites
-
Prepare the Masses

“Prepare the masses, because this means war.”
“What? What is he talking about? War?”
“This is not a joke. They’re here, and t… -
Prelude to extinction

The raptor woke rapidly as piercing screams rolled through the jungle. He stirred, uncoiling from his shelter, his stomache n…
-
The Black, Black Room

Hours. Surely hours have passed.
I never slept, just kept my eyes trained on the crack under the door, watching the light fa…
-
Duck Season

“Duck,” his girlfriend said blandly.
“Yes, I see the…” Whack! A golf ball careened off his forehead, took a gentle arc over… -
Rabbit Season

Glen tried to think of an alternate meaning for rabbit, but shrugged it off as a warning when he failed. He should have kept …
-
Undying Hope
He has curly brown hair and braces. Bad acne but an awesome smile. Most of the time he was tons of fun, though not with me. N…
-
My Husbands Today

So where are all my ex-husbands now?
After I… disposed of them, I took them to a taxidermist. I paid him alot not to tell a… -
Murder for Nuts

Along the side of a dimly lit road, a handful of squirrels huddled under a wide-spread fern. The chattered and groomed in the…
-
Leo & Tessa

Josiah’s car took a sharp turn onto Winter St, where Tessa stood, a small suitcase at her ankles, a cigarette in her fingers….
-
Leo & Tessa Talk

At Tessa’s house, the group gathered in her living room, drinking beers and smoking pot. Tessa was beyond fidgety. Leo quietl…
-
What Bob Needs

What Bob needs is his AA sponsor. Instead, he drove down to the market on the corner of 13th and Central, the one with the ye…
-
Nobody Puts Bobby in a Corner

What Bob wants right now is to strangle his ex-wife. Between her bitching and the – other thing, Bob was losing it.
“That…
-
What About Bob?

What Bob wants is a drink. His nerves were shot; he was shaking like crazy and he hoped his ex didn’t notice. He finally mana…
-
Where's Josiah; He'd Like to Know

As directed, Josiah lugged the bags inside, unknowing and uncaring what was inside. His mind was on Tessa, his girl, his woma…
-
Ellie Meets the Superjudge

Ellie ran behind Gates. This was their usual routine: he’d run just a bit ahead, check it out, and if he got in trouble, she …
-
Inter-species Flirting

“Ellie, love,” Lem turned to her, “it’s not true. I’ve never been on this planet or seen creatures like this.”
“Don’t call …
-
{Hard Work} The Carpet Killer

“Sick,” Det. Gibbs said.
“Doesn’t smell pretty either,” her partner added. Gibbs already wore rubber gloves; Lt. Patrick was…
-
"I Don't Know How to Pray."

“I don’t know how to pray.”
“Just try. Let it come, as if you’re talking to a friend.”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
“Good girl. Goodn…
-
Farm House: 5:45 A.M.

The alarm clock flashed the numbers 5:45 like little hazard
lights as Robin reached over quilted blankets to turn it off.
Sh… -
Vanilla Ice: A Semi-Original Spoof by BARomero

Vanilla Ice
Got himself into a lot of fights
Vanilla Ice
Beat up by a bunch of guys
Vanilla Ice
Ordered up a bowl of rice
Van… -
You're Nobody in Hollywood Till Your 1st DUI

“It was a routine night in West Hollywood, never a dull moment I tell you. You just never know which celebrity, has been or w…
-
You Know It's a Good Party When...

Eyes wide, Malcolm sat on the couch staring at nothing, saying nothing. All around him lay the detritous of yet another fabul…
-
{Hard Work} Blondes Aren't Safe

I knew she was happy to be a brunette, but I asked anyway. The world isn’t safe for blondes. But then, blondes aren’t safe fo…
-
Leeroy Jenkins vs. The Death Star

“The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. It’s defenses are designed …
-
Drip..Drip..Drip:My Three Sons

Only that one time when the man yelled at her through the door, had Mrs. Learella Kingston heard any sounds from outside the …
-
Dark Entities

I can’t move.
My mind is awake, my senses aware, but my body fails to take notice. I am trapped within myself, a victim of s…
-
Like a shadow on shadows

-
Bush League, Old School and The Succubus

Blake and Simon turned to see “Simone” leaving through the back door. A glassy-eyed young man held her hand, trailing the suc…
-
The Dysfunctional Duo

“Never seen one before?” Blake asked.
“What
” Simon replied, confused as to the exact topic.
“A dead body,” Blake continu…
-
Order in the courtroom
Have you ever been that woman?
You know, the one who insists upon wearing business pants rather than the skirt because you k…
-
Order in the Court...2

I remember sitting in a lecture hall at Uni and thinking, someday I would save the world. I would rid the third world countri…
-
Drifting Melodies

The first time she had heard the song, she thought someone had turned the radio too loud. She had been on a bus, and bus driv…
-
Becoming Lillia

The painting was covered by a thin layer of dust. As she pulled back the heavy red curtain, Kiarra was apprehensive. Why, she…
-
The Cat's Eye
The whistling of the morning doves woke the sleeping cat. While sleeping peacefully Dimitri, the slim Siamese cat, dreamt of …
-
Giggles the Clown was a Mean Drunk

“Man that Giggles was funny as hell, but he sure was a mean drunk,” Sam said.
“And he knew it too, which is why he dried ou…
-
An Ironic Fear

Fears. Everyone has them, I suppose. But I was never a cliche. I could sleep without a light, I didn’t mind spiders. I could …
-
"HeadOn! Apply Directly to the Forehead! HeadOn! Apply Directly to the Freaking Forehead! HeadOn!"

“HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead! Head…
-
Desperation in the Key of E Minor
The fan swirled lazily over the small café, circulating the humid Louisiana air that hung like a shroud in the late afternoon…
-
At the Place of Meeting (Tell Me it's Going to be Okay)
I stand anxiously by the fence, palms sweating. Even though I’ve never seen it before, never even dreamed it, my heart knows …
-
Doublewide Damnation

Virgil stared down the dirt road. This was the road. It led from their thrice repaired doublewide to the old highway, from …
-
Blackmail Is My Business

I arrived at the Biltmore at 4 am. ,went up to the penthouse, the door was unlocked so I let myself in.
The bedroom was ransa… -
An Eclipse of All Reason

The rain fell down in sheets, drenching Eduardo as he walked down the dark street. His handsomely rugged face revealed soul-r…
-
Blueyedwonder's nEw Challenge from...not hell! (Sorry, YodaOnCrack, couldn't resist). And this is Sorta-Halfway-Kinda Dedicated to Howie Amourscow for Unintentionally giving me the Idea :D
Okay, I know this is totally random and uncalled for since I still have 122 ficlets, but I got this idea and I know I’m gonna…
-
Hunger in it’s Most Mortal of Definitions

“Simone” knew hunger. Not just desire or lust, but hunger in it’s most mortal of definitions. She needed to feed on the life-...
-
The Only Black Girl {a poem}
Standing among white faces,
somehow I found
it inside of me
to smile outside
even though I’m
the only black girl
in town.Sa…
-
Blood Line

Street lamps glistened off the wet brick road, in the early morning hours of London. She left the pub and stopped briefly und…
-
Sleepwalker

Into the police station walked a man with a drowsy look in his eyes, recent bloodstains covering his shirt.
He walked to the … -
A Slight Return

“How’d you summon her?”
“Whatcha mean?” Simon replied, confused.
“Um,” Blake scratched his facial stubble. “Did you just us…
-
Alec and Simone Make Dinner Plans

“Well, Al,” Simone hissed through another wave of pain, “it’s nice to meet you, but us standing around in an alley is not goi…
-
Not In Chicago

“Wait—what?”
Blake stopped thumbing his cellphone. “I’m giving the Hell’s Angels a heads up… They control most of the U.S. o…
-
A Crack in the Wall {a poem}
There’s a crack
in your wall.
A crooked river
branching out,
seeking the ocean’s
solace.I imagine myself
on a raft,
floatin… -
Death is always an option

“Now James, you’d best calm down and listen very carefully. When I open the door to your cage, the bomb around your neck wi…
-
Sans Terif
This was unprecedented. The things that used to frighten Martin no longer had an effect on him. Success? The doctors couldn’t…
-
A Bad Feeling {Simon Story}

When Simon woke up that Saturday, he had no knowledge of the twisting, fateful day ahead of him.
He thought it would be a go…
-
Causing Mayham {Simon story} - revised 10/9

“Why are you here?” Simon asked.
“To mess up your world a little. Again.”
“OK, check that off of your to-do list and go hom…
-
It's In the Eyes

“They’re here,” he whispered, his bloodshot eyes darting around the dingy subway station. “They’re among you, all of you.”
T…
-
Miniature Sword Play

Blake drew forth a miniature sword from a trenchcoat pocket; moving it forward to prick Simon with it. Instinctively, Simon p…
-
The Tale of the Former Horsemen: An Interlude

Now I bet these here fellas look right familiar to you, an’ I reckon there’s a reason for that. Ya’ see, this here is the mos…
-
Orgasm Addict

-
A New Sensation: The Unnecessary Prologue

Simone’s new body ached with a need that was almost beyond her understanding. Gluttony, lust; these were things she underst… -
The Protagonists Have A Plan

“Tardis. Doctor Who. Bigger on the inside than the outside. Ring any bells?”
“Nope,” Blake replied. “But this is all inconse…
-
God Is In The House

The place was called Olympus.
It looked like it had been there forever.
Posters from the 70’s with pictures of Gyros hun…
-
Mutual Assured Seduction - Part 1

Old Mister Zee, the owner, came bounding around the counter, a huge grin on his face. He greeted Alec with a heavy clap on th…
-
Mutual Assured Seduction - Part 2

Alec grew bored watching the Pre-Hellenic Heartbreaker and the Soul Sucking Hell-Bitch make sheep’s eyes at each other. He tu…
-
From Here to Eternity

He was still wondering what the splash of blood they had just found meant when an “um, Blake?” made him look-up at a three-ri…
-
Fighting Magic {Simon story}

Simon rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding the spell Simon had sent forth. Unfortunately, Carl had foreseen this, and sen…
-
Henry Ford was a Jerk
FADE IN:
INT. DETROIT INSTITUTE OF ART – RIVERA COURT – MORNING
The museum is empty save three figures: a well dressed blue…
-
The Pains of Birth

“Wha… no frakkin way! How are the…?” But Simon was cut short, a wave of unimaginable pain shocking his system.
Blake gave …
-
Mrs. B's Living Room {Simon story}

When they entered the living room, Teekl was curled up in the armchair. Tommy cowered on top of the chair’s back. Sarah stood…
-
A Brief History of Bast {Simon story}

Bast walked around the sofa, where she could see Mrs. B’s body on the ground. She was without a doubt dead, and parts of her …
-
Teekl Awakens {Simon Story}

Teekl stirred, yawned and woke up. The cat grinned eerily and seemed to look around the room with greed.
“Carl has recovered…
-
Ain't Dead Yet

Alec was standing three feet away from
Simonewhen she Ascended to Godhood which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t a very smar… -
Interloper Interrogation

Pestilence’s eyes darted around, imitating the onset of a seizure; literally thousands of instances when all four of them h…
-
The Legend of Batak Beatrix

Many moons ago, a group of undergraduates studying anthropology stayed up far in to the night, speaking of the world at large…
-
Something In The Way

“That doesn’t make sense,” Simon screamed. “They’re the Four Frakkin Horsemen! How could they not take down a Gorram God?...
-
The Red Tree Bleeds Tears

I wake with the delicate ache of everything I have seen and heard and felt gripping tightly on my heart. I am sitting on a ge…
-
So You Want to Be a God?

They would be coming for her soon.
The boy wizard and his ally, the mercenary. The conniving hemophage. The renegades, desti…
-
Hell Comes To Chi-Town

“What’s happening? What was that?”
Blake couldn’t answer the boy yet; he knew that sound, but from where. Even the air was d…
-
A Consolidated Threat

-
The All In One

Simonereeled, almost swept off Her feet by the gorgeous being before Her.Four faces sharing one head, a single looming v…
-
The Stakes (pt. 1)

“This War guy,” Simon whispered, crouched in ankle-deep mud beside Blake, “he, like, shifted this neighborhood into a pocke…
-
The Stakes (pt. 2)

Simon stared at Blake, convinced he had completely lost it. “Come again?”
Blake sighed. “Human beings, us, we’re pretty much…
-
Just Another Day At The Office

The neon sign’s pale red light distracted Oz. After so many years of enduring the flickering glow, he thought it wouldn’t aff…
-
Old Friends

Simon screamed in pain, his retinas were on fire and he had no clue what was happening.
“Oz,” Simon heard Blake say.
“Hell-...
-
Fears: A True Story

I already wrote a ficlet for the phobia challenge, but that was fiction.
I’m writing of real fears I’ve overcome.
As a little… -
Running Scared

Tracer fire lit up the sky. Nearby, men who had died years before were dying again, face down in mud. A woman sobbed as soldi…
-
And Back Again

Blake started to run after Simon, but stopped abruptly. “Okay, that’s enough,” Blake shouted to Oz. “I’m tired of being in bl…
-
The Fall Guy

“I always preferred being referred to as the pencil lead, the eraser and the paper, personally,” Oz stated. Turning to Simon,...
-
Apocalyptic Folk

“Well, undo it,” Simon screamed at Oz.
“What?” Blake asked.
“Undo the gorram Apocalypse,” Simon continued. “You’re Mr. Al…
-
Showdown

Blake tilted his head to the right and then the left, the sound of popping bones accompanying both actions. He followed this …
-
One For The Money…

“So what?” Azrael professed. “You’ve got a taste of Lucifer’s power flowing thru your veins.”
“Yup,” Blake replied, “just a …