Nice story. I enjoyed reading it. The only part I didn’t like was the part where you wrote,
What am I good at? Well, let me think, Ms. Brunne. According to my mother, I’m good at styling hair. According to my father, I’m good at screwing things up. I guess that means I can either be a hairstylist or a screw up.
“I don’t know,” I mumble, instead.
I dont think the instead part is necessary because the reader already knows it’s and aside.
I tried to edit it, and apparently that didn’t work. Thanks though, Jonas didn’t seem to happy with it, which i thought was a bit cruel because he spoke of my mistakes so well, but hey, thanks.
Thanks dude. I’m not really trying my best here. It’s just a nice little website to discuss wrighting tips and practicing grammer, so It’s just a nice place to have fun with. I’ll have to write something serious some time though and see what you guys think.
I’ve never really tried that, I don’t like to skip around a bunch with the POV, but from taking 3rd person to 1st person… I’ll have to try that some time, thanks artistsrunwild.
Yeah, good point man, I personally find that 3rd person feels better as it makes the book more broad. (plus it really fits good when you have your main character for it) but its hard to write with, ive come stumped in my books when i write in 3rd person.
1st person is easier to write with, but it makes the book seem a bit less proffessional and your opions are limited to what you want other characters to feel.
Well, It’s part of a book that im going to write, I just like to use Ficlet as a way to practice and such. But the being is an alien, to long to have to explain all of it, guess you’ll just have to read the book when it comes out. (and im only 12)
first off, remember to click on mature but to help your writing, (correct me if im wrong because im only 12) i would say that It’s ok to just say “said” after or before speech its ok to spice it up a bit using words like demanded, but dont make it a hobby
I guess that was pretty cool. But, correct me if im wrong (I am only 12), that you shouldn’t really use the words that estimate. example: (taken from your story) “The remaining couple hundred kids continued talking” I probably would have wrote, either, the rest of the kids (unproffesional) or, “The other kids.” Not trying to be mean, just trying to help. and as i said, correct me if im wrong.
but all in all, i liked your story, i could see that as a novel. keep up the good work!
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