Ficlets

well Before i joined the league of Awesomeness and recieved my new title (trumpets blaze champagne falls from the sky and velvet ropes part) as AWESOME POSSUM i was a gardner for the shiba clan who found a mask and then was transformed into the purple crime fighter the maxx who lived in a card board box or slept on julie winter’s couch but i could only be on vacation so long so i returning to my life as a gardner where i was savagely murdered by a new strain of pink izz. Then i awoke in hueco mundo as a flea with a tiny hollow hole in my hand and a mask shaped like mr gone. Well after centuries of fighting and becomeing a vasto lord then with the help of the hougyku i became the number 9 espada. Well after the death of the Hollow king, Lord plankton, the yoda of arrancar times got hard and i had to get a job as a cashier at the walmart in hueco mundo, its kind of a dreary job being part of an evil empire with plans on enslaving the human race and robbing mankind of freewill, but walmart does have insurance. speaking of that i need to call my supervisor ganju sheeba and ask him if hinataro is going to cover my shift, so i don’t miss my name earl, cause hamtaro is coming over with liono and gargamel since my wife the most beautiful soul in hueco mundo, little alibye espada number one king of the hollows, the hatshepsut of bankai, is at the strip bar with the shinigami women’s association tonight

favorite quote This is gettin serious boys get mama’s plastic stripper shoes out yer lego box.

“I used to do drugs, i still do but i used to, also.” Mitch hedmon
“I used to have a crack problem, but now i don’t smoke it anymore, hardly ever that much.” Flavor flav or Paula Abdul, pick one.

Anyone who eats room temperature cheese from a can won’t mind if it glows in the dark.

I am not stupid, i do know how to burn a jesus face into a grilled cheese sandwich,THANK YOU!

Well you are going to regret this and when you go to hallmark to buy a card to ask me to forgive you they aren’t going to have one because its too specific.
favorite tomb stone inscriptions
Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts

Here lies the truth because he never told it.

Ike was a womanizer and he cheated at cards

I’ll miss you red i hear they don’t have cats in heaven