I’ve been away awhile, and I see you’ve elevated your game! Man, the more you write, the better you get. My wife’s uncle from New York is over right now. He read this and agreed with me that you have a certain writing flair that comes natural. Awesome!
Yes, I can see where you’re coming from. It’s part of a short story I’ve already written called Lost Tears and it’s hard to break it up and place it on ficlets. Here’s a link to the entire thing, uninterrupted… http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=211797
Written with flair and a professional style – something I’ve come to expect from you… Gr8 back and forth dialog action going on here. Nicely done! I’ve been away for awhile – I’ll try to catch up on some of your other stuff when I find time.
Yeah, I’ve re-written the whole scene, completely changing directions, because all of you are right. This turn of events just doesn’t ring true. I’ll re-post later & thanks for your comments…
Ran out of words, but I think you can tell where I was going. What will Ficlets be in the future? You have the power to shape it and morph it into something more than the original creators ever imagined. Am I being hopelessly optimistic here? I hope so as that’s the point and that’s me…
It’s storming and I’m sitting here in my house listening to the rain, making your powerful image of a “cumulonimbus cloud of memories” all the more visual and entertaining. Quite a writing talent you have, Stovohobo… BTW – checked out the freerice.com site. Loved it…
One of my favorite movie is The Serpent and the Rainbow with Bill Pullman and Conrad Roberts. Why aren’t there more stories with a Voo Doo-inspired plot? : )
Very cool, as SKEET / Kermit points out. You should get it published. I’d buy a story that starts like this… Truly Awesome! I liked this especially – “At first I was miserable. Not only did my husband and I not speak the same language but he clearly did not want to be in the same room with me, let alone in the same bed.” Writer Sol Stein says that differences in culture and class create the most popular novels and stories – (i.e. Streetcar named Desire, and so on…) Brilliant!
I did mispell Boooodizmm. : ) Sorry, I’ll fix it. And you’re too kind in your review… This is a snippet from a larger story about an alien with a religious message who chooses unlikely humans to help him spread it… Glad you liked!
Hilarious! Loved it! Why do I think you’re going to be a prodigious writer some day? It’s one thing to have an imagination – completely another to immerse yourself in your imagined world and truly believe what you write – you do that… And the more you keep up with your writing practice here at ficlets, the better you’ll get!
Thanks, Jenunique – appreciate your comments & the others as well. Fun ficlet series for me as it has allowed me to vent some work-related frustrations….
This has to be the greatest of the series. Loved the ridiculous summary at the beginning, your writing style, just about everything about it! Great work here.
I’m trying to comment more b/c I notice the writers I admire (like you) have the most useful comments on my ficlets. Your dialog is rarely “stilted”, and this piece is a good example of that… It’s probably due to your several years experience as a student of human nature, thought we’ve discussed that b4. You also have a knack for ending a ficlet with suspense. I intend to read more on this series.
Love the dialog exchange in the 1st & 2nd paragraphs! Unexpected humor with Chris’ line… Great 1st person writing too – very realistic and believable, Sir THX 0477. Once again – a winner!
Way to lipo the flab and get to the meat of the story. Flab is the enemy of any writer and this (and most of your ficlets) are lean and mean. Nicely done!
Great insight and an interesting read! As always, very very awesome! Have a great weekend and thanks for contributing the sequel. I need to read the Stella Star series & see what krazy stuff’s goin’ on there now…. Change of pace…
I’m gonna continue the series offline & do some other funnier stuff here at ficlets. This series is one I’ve taken seriously & want to continue, but it will grow tiresome here soon enough. Thanks for the encouragement though…
God Bless America, Tad – but we’re living in a global economy now – anything can happen. All Hail the Corporation, Inc.!!! Perhaps a better fate than nuclear attacks by terrorists? Maybe 6 of one 1/2 dozen of the other?
Some great writing talent here! Love the dialog and the nonchalant Liam carrying “another body” as if it were a bag of groceries. Love your writing style, Melia & look forward to reading more…
Well then – make it right, CMTKOM – go back and write the sequels & get it back on track. It’s all gone a bit “cartoonish” admittedly… Funny though. : )
Amazing the different directions a sequel or prequel can go – love it, great work here & I intend to write a prequel of my own, though I’m not sure it will be as good as this one. Bravo!
Kinda like a modern-day Planet of the Apes type o’ thing. CMTKOM should jump in here somewhere. After all, it’s his series. Haven’t seen him around in awhile – miss his stuff…
There wasn’t too much intensity, wouldn’t you agree? The reader needs a release now and again to make it all seem more real. This ficlet is an attempt to set up a human to human interaction between Tara Fairbanks and the man – Benjamin Emmons.
And you did continue, you dirty Dr. Munroe lovin’ sunofagun! Thanks! And judging from thebetweenspace’s reaction, it’s not just me and the SuperApes who think it’s super-cool!
I remember reading this about a year ago and I decided to look it up again. This is a story line I’d like to see you continue. CMTKOM’s ficlet before / prequel was great too…
It’s a little choppy, Wil, but I like this. I get the feeling that if you cleaned it up / smoothed it out a bit it would read better, but great work as always.. Great to have you here at ficlets.
That first one was so strange & I wasn’t sure where to go with it until I was “inspired” by the female robot-hybrid nazi-lookin’ boss from hell with a face only Darth Vader could luv…. : )
Wonderful turn of events – described with flair and your own inimitable style. I really want to know what happens next… : ) Thanks so much for lending your talent to this series, Ana.
This is well written, Stovohobo, but what intrigues me most is that I had a dream very similar to this last night. I heard the Twilight Zone theme music as I read it! I remember waking up & thinking it should become a ficlet… Great descriptions and I really like how you format your stories for smooth reading.
Wow – thanks for the sequel & what a terrific job you’ve done here! This writing shows particularity and attention to detail that builds on what I was after in the original. I love the ending too – how you’ve left it open yet hinting at something tragic yet to come.
My first ficlet written on my new baby – a brand new Macbook. I’m lovin’ OS X and the switch from Windows… I guess my MAC is just more ficlet friendly!
Thanks for the attention, folks – didn’t expect that & Anna Christina you’re right I do have a problem with it’s and its…. You were right! Thanks! – Yoda
I’ve been in the strangest moods lately – I know this is bizarre & I think your being far to kind! Haha – I’ll get my mojo back soon. Things have just been crazy for me lately. Keep writing!
Nice back and forth dialog – just what I’d expect from you. There’s a great book by Sol Stein on writing and this exercise is in the book. You certainly did it justice – better than mine about a Geeky boyfriend who craps his pants. : ) HA!
Crappy if you ask me. Yuk, yuk yuk – and yes, TXH, I’ve been accused of having bizarre, off the wall thoughts and words before… : ) Thanks fo reading & commenting.
This is actually a good writing exercise with the whole:
He She:
dialog back and forth thing. OK – impromptu challenge for others to write their own HE / SHE ficlets – go forth and do good work!
Very nicely done, Sir THX… I’ve always admired your writing, and this is very well done indeed. Very interesting & could go many possible directions. Bravo!
Yeah, Stovohobo – he made the comment that I beat him to the ROBOTRON story he was working on… Felt bad so I wrote him into this one. Hope he likes it. BTW – I’m gonna write you into a future ficlet. Hope you don’t mind! :P – Yoda
I’m getting a little bit TOO MUCH INTO these challenges – wonderful writing, BARomero… As an arcade game buff, I’m a member of the build your own arcade forum – I’m sure they’ll all read this one & your Tapper story too. Great stuff…
Hey thanks, Doc – this is part of another story – Susan and Kate are ex-lovers and Susan goes postal later and hijacks a plane so she and Kate can fly to Belgium to get married. Problem is – Kate doesn’t want anything to do with her… I may post the rest later, but with all the younger writers on this site it may not be appropriate.
Oh thanx – now I’ve got that “Who can it be” song in my head and I can’t get it out… “Who can it be knocking at my door? lalalallal!!!” : ) Nice continuation though – this challenge was fun, wasn’t it?
Here’s the description I based this on from the www.klov.com web site:
“You are a knight flying on an ostrich, battling buzzard-mounted enemies. To fly, you repeatedly hit the flap button. To topple the Buzzard-Riders “the highest lance wins.” Two-player head-to-head play is excellent.”
I’m a video game buff and I’m just amazed by the mind of Joust’s creator, Eugene Jarvis. I mean – was he doing drugs when he came up with this stuff? Flying ostriches? Ostriches can’t even fly… Giant hands, lava trolls, stork / ostrich steeds? I almost did “Burger Time” to be different, but chose this instead…
Pretty cool – loved what you’ve done here. You’re retro music challenge inspired me to keep the 80’s challenges flowing… Nicely done – I’ve always thought Mario’s world was super-psychedelic drug inspired. Turns out the Shigero Miyamoto was just one lonely kid growing up in Japan with a wild imagination. You did the game justice! Great work!
Found the picture & just had to write something about it – was in a dark mood this mornin’. Would love for Capital W’s challenge to be my next ficlet though – hope to find the time to day…
Dude! Like what a totally, completely awesome idea! (Doing my best Spicolli impression right now…. ) This is like more awesome than a tasty wave or somethin’!
Oh great Wizard KermitGorf of New Jersey – please don’t cap my ass fer usin’ your name in the fairy tale. That goes for you 2 great Knight THX 0477 of Ohio. : P
I watched a movie the other day titled Fracture – the killer (Anthony Hopkins) was an engineer who payed such close attention to detail, he got off the hook for killing his wife. This ficlet sounds a lot like something he would have said when he finally did confess. Great observations / attention to detail.
“Experiment” is the operative word… : ) Honestly, I ran across the picture (which I thought was quite good) & had to write something about it! Still think it looks like J-Lo getting’ her Iron Giant on – better than the J-Lo / South Park scene though eh?
I’ve been away for awhile. Thought maybe a story about a hungry Algonquin Indian so hungry he’d eat a dead bear, but drowns / gets his butt kicked by Sasquatch may be a worthwhile lazy Sunday write…. : ) – Yoda
Awesome is as awesome does, that’s what Momma always says… Oh yeah, and life is kinda like a box o’ chocolates, ya never know what you’re gonna get. Just don’t let “BIG IDA” near the box. You might be missin’ a finger or two… Yeah, uhuh, Ok….. (Note: Inside Joke – I’m sure uselessness & Nick get it…) Ha! In a strange mood today, folks – snowing like hell here in Indiana and I’m listening to Nirvana – puts me in an awesomely strange mood. hahahahahhahah
Yes, Tad – pretty dark. I thank you for your interest in the story. It makes a point about farmers – since I’m from Indiana I feel strongly about how our nation should honor them…
Damn, Kermitgorf, I’ve missed you. You sure know how to give a compliment. This is a story I’ve submitted at fanstory.com. Right now it’s rated pretty high – love to post this kind of stuff at ficlets to get feedback first. Thanks again, bud! – Yoda
I finally finished this story – posting here to keep it part of my profile. Forgive the fact that I’m posting these in bits and pieces…. Finally not sick any more. I was so sick I couldn’t even write for a month. Back now – hopefully for good! - Yoda
Been gone awhile – very sick – winner of this challenge is the one and only THX 0477. Lots of great challenges, but his really captured a lot. Congrats! – Yoda
Congrats on the feature, KermitGorf – well deserved & great to see that in addition to your other skills (ninja, num-chuck, bow-hunting, toboggan sledding, bull riding, and so on…) you got ficlet feature skillz. Way to represent!
This is a great idea for a challenge – reminds me of author Sol Stein’s “secret snapshot” technique – the gist of that is that your darkest secrets hold the key to great writing topics. Cool challenge – spawned some great writing / reading…
You have a great mind – I think that’s why people like reading your fic’s. It you “go further” and keep writing, I think you could easily win some writing contests / get published. Merry Christmas and thanks for sharing.
Very creative, llamaluvsmenotu – I’m into the story line – would love to see it develop into something deep inside your unique and good mine – you really are a trip you know…. :)
50 Cent and I just signed a deal – this track will be released on an upcoming album entitiled “Four dimes and two nickles” – look for it stores – usually near the blue lights at K-Mart!
You gotz the -hosehead tip_ down, yo! Oops, sorry, still recovering from my rap persona. AHEM! Awesome is as awesome does and awesome is here in this ficlet YO! OOOPS!
Great message here – nobody has forever and each day is a blessing / experience. In the inimitable words of the Vaughn Bros. (Jimmy & Stevey), “Time is Tickin’ Away”. – Yoda
I think someone once commented that your descriptions of “magic” and “sci-fi” are unrivaled. It’s true. Predictable twists aside (and I didn’t see this one coming at all) this has all the elements of a great story and should be continued… There is more I could add, but I need to get to work! Great job, Howie.
Wow – the featured ficlet with this!! I’m lovin’ this – great entries here – esp. THX 0477’s – very talented writing shining through with that entry… Thanks again, ficlets staffers!
Great emotion, the sci-fi element was realistic, and great descriptions – you really rose to the occasion with this – probably my favorite, though Howie’s entries are right up there with this one…. A W E S O M E !!! – Yoda
I love it Kermitgorf – great words from a great wordsmith. Just read that your mother passed away – sorry for your loss, buddy. Nice gesture to dedicate your writing to her. Take care and keep writing! – Yoda
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