Ficlets

If there’s one thing authors like to do, it’s to call up the Amazon page for their book, and then hit the “refresh” button on their Web browser like rats at a feeder bar, to see if their Amazon Ranking (which charts sales on the site) dislodges from its spot. It goes up, the author feels good and heads out for a latte. It goes down, the author feel bad and stays at home and writes dark poetry. Really, it’s all there in the author handbook.

Where there’s neuroses and insecurity, there’s a dollar to be made, and as this article at WSJ.com shows, someone’s after that dollar:

New York public-relations firm Ruder Finn says it can propel unknown titles to the top of rankings on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble with a mass email called the Best-Seller Blast. Popular authors such as Mark Victor Hansen of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series recommend your book in messages to fans, and offer a deal: Buy the book today and you’ll get downloadable “bonuses” supposedly valued at thousands of dollars—such as recordings of motivational speeches and contact information for important people. Orchestrating even 1,000 book purchases in a single day can drive a title from obscurity to the top of the charts.

The cost? Why, only a paltry $10,000!

A little advice for authors, from someone who’s cracked Amazon’s Top 100: For the love of all that is holy, don’t do this. Not only is the fee for such services more than most authors get as an advance (or will ever make as royalties), the fact is that Amazon numbers really don’t mean much. All they show is how you’re selling relative to other books on Amazon – i.e., one single store. It doesn’t tell you anything about how many books you’re selling, just that you’re selling better than some other book. And in terms of selling the next book, what will matter is actual units sold, not the notation that you hit Number One on Amazon, one day.

There are cheaper ways to feel good about yourself as an author, really. Get the latte instead.