Comments on 'Becoming Lillia'The painting was covered by a thin layer of dust. As she pulled back the heavy red curtain, Kiarra was apprehensive. Why, she did not know. It was just one of those nights; storming outside, dark...somehow she felt that she shouldn't be here. But she told herself that's a silly thought - Dad said she could explore the new house after all.
Paint was chipped away in places, but most of the original art was visible. It was a young girl, sitting on a velvet stool. Blond hair framed her face, and her smile looked...strange. Below, she saw writing - _Lillia Kendal, 1854._
She dropped the curtain, letting it fall back into place. But as soon as it touched the ground, it swung back, of its own accord. She tried to scream, but couldn't.
And then, as if the painting had transformed, the girl's hand reached out of the painting, and grabbed Kiarra's. "Come," she said in a faint voice. "Come with me."
_Kiarra sits frozen on a velvet stool, looking out at the hall. She smiles a strange smile._
_Kiarra London, 1854._2007-11-02T10:01:50Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/10403Comment on Becoming Lillia<p>I like it. I would love if her father found her there in the painting, smiling that strange smile.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=208212007-11-02T10:01:50ZAforesthttp://ficlets.com/authors/aforestComment on Becoming Lillia<p>Excellent. Loved the end was wondering how you were going to scare us. Stuck in a painting forever!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=195742007-10-24T20:32:08Zcainegreenehttp://ficlets.com/authors/cainegreeneComment on Becoming Lillia<p>yeah</p>
<p>nice ending i like it!<br />im upgrading you to five stars now for the spelling fix lol</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=152622007-10-01T01:24:19Zartistsrunwildhttp://ficlets.com/authors/artistsrunwildComment on Becoming Lillia<p>Dang, I forgot the <strong>t</strong>...but I fixed it. And I don’t have anymore characters but I will see if I can try to fit that in…thanks!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=151242007-09-30T15:40:10Zsomeday_93http://ficlets.com/authors/someday_93Comment on Becoming Lillia<p>i really like this one</p>
<p>it sets up the next story – like that someone will find Kiarra in the painting</p>
<p>i love the ending but if you have anymore characters left – i think you should finish with a repeat of the <em>Lillia Kendal, 1854.</em> bit but with Kiarra’s name</p>
<p>only a thought</p>
<p>and add the <strong>t</strong> on thought in the last line of the first para and it’s a five star story</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=151062007-09-30T04:58:30Zartistsrunwildhttp://ficlets.com/authors/artistsrunwildComment on Becoming Lillia<p>Shadow—you’re right, it does. I changed it. Thanks.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=148582007-09-28T20:23:31Zsomeday_93http://ficlets.com/authors/someday_93Comment on Becoming Lillia<p>Good story – enjoyed this one. There are some great ones for the competition.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=148342007-09-28T19:22:02ZYodaOnCrackhttp://ficlets.com/authors/yodaoncrackComment on Becoming Lillia<p>If you write it in past tense, it sounds a lot better.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/10403?basename=148312007-09-28T19:07:04ZShadowhttp://ficlets.com/authors/xxxshadow