Comments on 'The Fifteenth'Marten stayed low, and moved down the trench. Plasma beams streaked across the sky above him, a patchwork of colors that would have been beautiful if they weren't trying to kill him and the entire fifteenth infantry.
Kravlik stopped him as he passed.
"Hey Anders," he said, gesturing over the edge of the trench toward the enemy line, "I think I see your mo-"
A purple beam went through his outstretched hand, continued through his skull, and burned into the back wall of the trench. What little blood wasn't cauterized splashed onto Marten's face. He instinctively crouched lower.
"Man down!" He said into his comm. Nobody stopped to see which of their brothers had fallen. The mourning would come later, always later.
Marten pushed Kravlik's body against the side of the trench. What was a soldier 5 seconds ago was just something else to trip over during a retreat.
An explosion shook him off his feet, and turned the sky white. An inhuman roar filled the air.
_"Oh good,"_ he thought. _"The psykers are here."_2008-01-31T16:52:29Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/11588Comment on The Fifteenth<p>Plasma beams <em>and</em> trench warfare?<br />And some sort of psionic super-soldiers?<br />That’s a <em>shithole</em> of a war.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=377152008-01-31T16:52:29ZWhite Hathttp://ficlets.com/authors/whitehatComment on The Fifteenth<p>It’s good, kinda sounds like Warhammer 40K from the talks of psykers and battle “brothers”</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=268252007-12-06T00:06:53ZExhalted Truthhttp://ficlets.com/authors/the_manComment on The Fifteenth<p>Liked it a lot. I gave a prequel a shot.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=209052007-11-02T21:50:54ZCompound Fracturehttp://ficlets.com/authors/fractureComment on The Fifteenth<p>Great story, great atmosphere.</p>
<p>Certainly better than my first ficlets attempt. I’d also love to see someone pick this up and run with it.</p>
<p>Your ficlets that I’ve read are great, usually because they leave lots open for other writers – something I’m trying to emulate in my own.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=206832007-11-01T20:05:38ZSupRspihttp://ficlets.com/authors/suprspiComment on The Fifteenth<p>Compelling and graphic. I love your writing style.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=193952007-10-23T22:10:08ZAlexa ♥http://ficlets.com/authors/alexa1018Comment on The Fifteenth<p>You did an excelent job on this story. You are an extremely good fictional writer. I do believe we have a future world known author on our hands…keep up the good work!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=193482007-10-23T18:27:27ZHunting Beautyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/missourigirlComment on The Fifteenth<p>Awesome! I am with Ighnot give me more on the <strong>psykers</strong>!!!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=185432007-10-19T19:44:31Zcainegreenehttp://ficlets.com/authors/cainegreeneComment on The Fifteenth<p>Great story. I’m also a bit of a fan of your blog and acting but I’ll try not to say anything embarrassing or overly gushy. ;-) Keep up the ficleteering, you’re a natural!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=184622007-10-19T14:24:09Zuselessnesshttp://ficlets.com/authors/uselessnessComment on The Fifteenth<p>I would like to know more about the psykers… Don’t keep us hangin’, man! :)</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=183742007-10-18T22:40:22ZIghnothttp://ficlets.com/authors/ighnotComment on The Fifteenth<p>good first entry!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=180432007-10-17T00:00:00ZMistress Elsha Hawkhttp://ficlets.com/authors/mistress_elsha_hawkComment on The Fifteenth<p>You have to write more fiction, you’re too good at it to stop ,I went and looked and saw this was you’re only ficlet. Next time i look I hope you have more.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=180172007-10-16T22:12:26ZSKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorfComment on The Fifteenth<p>Reminds me of Saving Private Ryan, the book, from the movie, by Max Allan Collins, based on screenplay by Robert Rodat</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=180162007-10-16T22:11:01ZSKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorfComment on The Fifteenth<p>Not bad for one of your first attempts. This is a great website for practice.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=180132007-10-16T21:48:02ZAna Cristinahttp://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78Comment on The Fifteenth<p>Thanks, Ana Cristina. I don’t know how I missed such a basic spelling error!</p>
<p>I appreciate the feedback from everyone else, too. I’m an experienced non-fiction writer, and this represents one of my first steps into writing fiction.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=180012007-10-16T21:28:02ZWil Wheatonhttp://ficlets.com/authors/wilwheatonComment on The Fifteenth<p>Very cool. Intense and has a very realistic feel. Nice characterization.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=179992007-10-16T21:25:10ZCrown Me Tarzan, King of Marshttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_605Comment on The Fifteenth<p>although i despise anything blood, i found this oddly amusing =]</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=179932007-10-16T21:13:09ZOne Time, One Chancehttp://ficlets.com/authors/one_chanceComment on The Fifteenth<p>nice touches, with the instinctive crouch and the retreat concern. pretty tense little ending.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=179762007-10-16T20:57:51Zm8ryxhttp://ficlets.com/authors/m8ryxComment on The Fifteenth<p>In your third section from the bottom, I believe you misspelled solider (sorry, can’t help it – I’m an English teacher :p). Otherwise, it’s good, leaves the reader wanting to know more.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11588?basename=179732007-10-16T20:47:14ZAna Cristinahttp://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78