Comments on 'They Don't Come Out at Night'You know the well has to be close, but your lantern only makes the fog harder to penetrate.
You know there's nothing but open field around you for hundreds of meters, but the fog is so thick, you could be buried alive. Claustrophobic panic threatens each step.
You have to keep moving. You have to get to the well and fill your skins, because the house is dry and the night is long.
You have to keep moving, because if you stop . . . no. _"No!"_ You tell yourself. _"They don't come out at night! No one has ever seen them come out at night!"_
No one who is still alive, that is.
You count your steps, to stay calm and focussed.
_240, 241, 242_
It's 250 paces to the well, 250 paces back to momma.
_243, 244_
There it is! The well! A squat, grey shape, against the fog.
It moves.
Toward you.
You scream, and turn toward safety.
You drop your skins, you drop your torch, and you run.
_"No! They don't come out at night!"_ You think, as you turn your ankle, and fall. Tears turn dust to mud on your cheeks.2008-01-31T21:37:05Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/11739Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Spare, lean, and sharp as hell. Closing out on that final detail, dust to mud, is great.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=378462008-01-31T21:37:05ZWill Hindmarchhttp://ficlets.com/authors/wordstudioComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>The anachronisms imply a post-apocalyptic world.<br />It’s a brilliant turnaround from the classic “they only come out at night” stories.<br />Probably the first second-person ficlet I’ve seen that hasn’t sucked. Bravo!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=377292008-01-31T17:12:41ZWhite Hathttp://ficlets.com/authors/whitehatComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>wow very nice will i really like it alot!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=251012007-11-25T18:34:32ZI LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!http://ficlets.com/authors/manic_panicComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Loved the writing style in this – you offer a unique new style. Keep writing. Can’t wait to read your others. – Yoda * 5 Stars</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=247372007-11-24T14:16:55ZYodaOnCrackhttp://ficlets.com/authors/yodaoncrackComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>A great job, Wil. Very creepy. I’m not quite certain why, but the counting of the steps sends chills up my spine. Just wonderful.</p>
<p>Thanks to this story, I’ve written 3 Ficlets of my own, and am planning outmy 4th. It’s all your fault, Wheaton! Thanks. :-D</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=240182007-11-19T06:19:43ZCapital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)http://ficlets.com/authors/capital_w_writerComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>great description</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=225482007-11-11T14:14:11ZMisheru O'kuhttp://ficlets.com/authors/mokuComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Oh and you scared Alexa, which is pretty amazing all things considered.<br /><strong>:)</strong></p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=210922007-11-03T19:30:08ZLone Writerhttp://ficlets.com/authors/solopenComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>I agree with pretty much everyone. Amazing Job.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=210902007-11-03T19:28:16ZLone Writerhttp://ficlets.com/authors/solopenComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>A very enjoyable ficlet. What makes it work, I think, is the fact that for a long time (considering) it relies solely on insinuation, and then suddenly – something is upon you! It captures that moment of realization, of understanding that the nightmare is actually real, while simultaneously remaining vague as to what the horror actually is.</p>
<p>In other words, a scary story of the retro kind. No guts, no blood – but some actual horror instead. Good work.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=207902007-11-02T01:44:29ZJonashttp://ficlets.com/authors/jonasComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>That’s a great note, Raenef. Thank you!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=206562007-11-01T18:04:41ZWil Wheatonhttp://ficlets.com/authors/wilwheatonComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Agree with Raenef. ‘Flashlight’ and ‘torch’ threw me a bit as well, but other than that, I’m excited for you since you’ve said writing fiction scares you. Way to face the fear and jump into it! And thanks for pointing out this site. I always find the coolest stuff on the tubes thanks to you!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=206282007-11-01T15:19:02ZMeliahttp://ficlets.com/authors/meliaComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Nice. Your great writer. I love the suspense.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=205832007-11-01T05:25:51ZTheWindBlowshttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_2580Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>The use of ‘flashlight’ and ‘skins’ in the same story seems anachronistic. Perhaps ‘lantern’ would be a better choice if you wanted to have you story set in the past, unless American’s have always referred to light-giving-equipment as ‘flashlights’. I’m not well-versed in American English. <br />It’s nice to see you used the second-person narrative technique. Keep up the good work Wil : )</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=205482007-10-31T23:56:49ZRaenefhttp://ficlets.com/authors/raenefComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Clicked this from my blog, and it motivated me to finally write my own first ficlet.</p>
<p>Awesome story, fantastic atmosphere. I think some good spin-offs will come of this.</p>
<p>I applaud you putting some effort and taking some chances with fiction!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=205372007-10-31T21:57:30ZSupRspihttp://ficlets.com/authors/suprspiComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Why did you like to write <strong>you</strong> so much? Plz respond. (im only 12)</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=203702007-10-30T23:05:53ZThe 13 Year-Oldhttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_5927Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>this was aiiight.</p>
<p>i like what youve done here. the writing could use some cleaning up but im diggin what you got. im going to go read thx’s sequel.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=197752007-10-26T09:10:33ZFourSevenhttp://ficlets.com/authors/foursevenComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>That’s Fabulous! <br />I loved how it attracted me to keep reading even though I was getting nervous just reading it. <br />Very intense and it felt very real, even though it’s not really a common situation for many of us.<br />I just loved it!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=197712007-10-26T06:37:16ZThat Girlhttp://ficlets.com/authors/that_girlComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>It’s like something from the early issues of Weird Tales. Great Job.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=195442007-10-24T16:26:34ZHobo Beard Bobhttp://ficlets.com/authors/hobo_beard_bobComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>skins, like animals skins? like a flask?</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=194962007-10-24T03:17:06ZFlirtingWithaBrickWallhttp://ficlets.com/authors/sanitytookaholidayComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>it’s okay, kermit, i didn’t kno either. but i won’t say anything about the whole “old” factor, due to a comment left on a previous ficlet =]<br />anywhoways, verry nice story, luvv the suspense!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=193642007-10-23T19:48:09ZOne Time, One Chancehttp://ficlets.com/authors/one_chanceComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>{Alexa screams}<br />OK, why am I out at night?<br />.
{Alexa glances behind her, rather nervously.}<br />Yeah, I’m scared. Good job.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=193542007-10-23T18:52:43ZAlexa ♥http://ficlets.com/authors/alexa1018Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>You did an absolutely marvelous job on this one. The suspense is killer. The pace of the story really keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. Keep it up, Wil!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=193502007-10-23T18:32:10ZHunting Beautyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/missourigirlComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Couldn’t help myself—sequel written!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=193282007-10-23T15:23:51ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Very frightening with lots more suggested as possibilities and questions. But did they have to twist their ankle? Someone always twists an ankle.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=193212007-10-23T11:15:37ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Like the rhythm here.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=185982007-10-19T21:29:01ZIghnothttp://ficlets.com/authors/ighnotComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>Nicely done. The pace held me all the way. The <em>tears turn dust to mudd</em> excellent way to portray the arid conditions.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=185392007-10-19T19:40:05Zcainegreenehttp://ficlets.com/authors/cainegreeneComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>I like it a lot. Nothing like some good October creeps.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=184632007-10-19T14:26:33Zuselessnesshttp://ficlets.com/authors/uselessnessComment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p><em>Water skins</em>, <strong>Kermitgorf</strong>. We useta’ carry water in em’ back in the olden’ days, before yer’ dadblamed, newfangled <em>sports bottles</em> : )</p>
<p>Very creepy, <strong>Wil</strong>. Effective use of the second-person perspective.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=184302007-10-19T04:01:49ZCrown Me Tarzan, King of Marshttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_605Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>The pacing here is very good, keeps the reader literally on the edge of their seat.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=184292007-10-19T03:51:08ZAna Cristinahttp://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78Comment on They Don't Come Out at Night<p>suspenseful. drop your skins ,not sure what refers to. I like the mystery that you don’t tell waht <strong>They</strong> are <strong>that don’t come out at night</strong></p>http://ficlets.com/stories/11739?basename=184282007-10-19T03:48:37ZSKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorf