Parrish O'Hanley, dead a year, and still I hadn't solved his murder. We had been searching for congresswoman Schweiz's son. It should have been me that night. I took the call but he insisted that he meet the caller. Shot in the back of the head in the alley near our favorite pub. I'm Ladd, Shane Ladd of Ladd &amp; O'Hanley Detective agency. The phone rang. &quot;Ladd &amp; O'Hanley Detective agency, what can I do ya for?,&quot; I asked. &quot;I know who killed your partner,&quot; a voice said breathlessly, but the stoolie had hung up before I could respond. So this weasel claims he knows the triggerman who zotzed O'Hanely. At midnight, at my favorite watering hole a gorilla of guy with an ugly mug walked in, sat beside me, grabbed my arm and said, &quot;I hear yer lookin fer me?&quot; &quot;Get your mitts offa me you ape,&quot; I said as I punched him in the kisser. He made a snerffeled sound and hit the floor. &quot;Somebody wanna call a copper,&quot; I said. &quot;I see you're in a jam,&quot; laughed Sgt. Hammet when he spotted me. &quot;As always,&quot; I said. 2007-10-26T03:04:11Z http://ficlets.com/feed/story/12072 <p>i like all the lingo it adds flavor to the story.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19764 2007-10-26T03:04:11Z Punkin http://ficlets.com/authors/user_2537 <p>No, no, I truly liked it. :) Sorry if it came out wrong. I think I am hardwired to give feedback on writing in this way since I&#8217;m an English teacher. I&#8217;m going to go read your sequel now&#8212;can&#8217;t wait to see what happens next!</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19686 2007-10-25T20:11:32Z Ana Cristina http://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78 <p>Thanks,..I think.. some backhanded compliments there lol, always a but in there somewhere, I really liked it but..</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19617 2007-10-25T03:31:18Z SKermitgorf http://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorf <p>The wording was spot-on, but I think you&#8217;ve got too much going on in such a small space. Try breaking it up so that the confrontation happens in the sequel and that should help the pacing.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19571 2007-10-24T20:09:02Z Ana Cristina http://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78 <p>Haha, I rather liked it, but I felt that you were trying to incorporate all of the lingo in there. I am eager for a sequel, though.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19559 2007-10-24T18:24:19Z Laine P. Grey http://ficlets.com/authors/lainegrey <p>A fun start to a detective tale, with a great character. I thought it was a bit jumpy though.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19550 2007-10-24T17:37:16Z THX 0477 http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477 <p>Good dialogue, and I like that the case is personal to him.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/12072?basename=19519 2007-10-24T13:10:57Z Alexa ♥ http://ficlets.com/authors/alexa1018