Comments on 'Messa''"Danny come back, its not safe. " The flash light seem to disappear the more Danny walked into the cave. Jeremy thought for a second he saw a shadow climb across the rock on the other side of the pool of water.
"Jeremy, this is great, its going deeper and deeper as if walking down a hole."
" I know Danny, that is what scares me, we will never find our way out of here."
They were not alone, they did not understand that hiding deep within the cave was a creature only known to story tellers as Messa". A wolf like creature that walked on two feet and had a thorny spine that could change formation when attack.
"Danny, what is that smell?" Jeremy look behind him and there was a river of opaque slim flowing through the tunnels.
" Did you here that Jeremy?" There was noise comming from the bottom of a pit that had steam rising to the top of the hole where they were standing.
Just then the hatching of Messa could be heard all over the cave and they were determine to find this mystical beast so many..2007-12-24T22:02:25Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/16647Comment on Messa'<p>A neat story idea. Just a thought, but contractions and even slang or abbreviated words can make dialog feel more natural, especially with apparently youthful or foolish characters.<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/16647?basename=300712007-12-24T22:02:25ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on Messa'<p>yah i agree..but otherwise..nice story</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/16647?basename=300292007-12-24T18:22:34ZEmoteshttp://ficlets.com/authors/http_www_aimpages_com_angelwatcher112_profile_htmlComment on Messa'<p>cool…some parts were a little badly written though</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/16647?basename=300272007-12-24T18:08:13ZN555champ /\and/\ X-Ninja (LoA)http://ficlets.com/authors/bigkittyproductions