Comments on 'Hangin with the wrong crowd'"This is the best party evahhhh!" someone exclaimed. As the music got louder, Tray felt more out of place. Someone had obviously spiked the punch, why else would people be vomiting left and right. _I shouldn't be here_ Tray thought. Just as she was going to leave some drunk guy she vaguely knew came up to her.
"Hey beautiful, how about you come home with me tonight!"
"Shut up pevert" she replied. _I have got to get out_ she thought. Suddenly red and blue lights flashed everywhere.
"Oh crap" was the general murmer throughout the entire house. Tray just stood there oblivious to the people running and panicking around her. "Come on Tray, you gotta get outta here" she heard someone say. She just stood there frozen in her own fear. Then the door was burst down by a strange man in a blue uniform. The house by now was virtually empty.
"Excuse me miss but im going to have to take you downtown for questioning."
"Why?" Tray replied
"Because you are drunk and underage"2008-02-02T23:59:06Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/19928Comment on Hangin with the wrong crowd<p>oops sorry i’ll get right on that</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19928?basename=384202008-02-02T23:59:06ZBlood Red Skyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/bloodredskyComment on Hangin with the wrong crowd<p>Not a bad story idea, and I liked the part towards the end, very easy to imagine her standing there, kind of detached and out of it as everyone flees. Using present and past tense in the same story makes it a little hard to follow—just something to think about.<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19928?basename=384152008-02-02T23:52:34ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477