Comments on 'Date ficlet'"I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner and a movie with me?" Jonothan asked.
"Seriously?" Christie replied.
"Yeah."
"Umm... okay," Christie giggled.
"Cool pick you up at 6:30 on Friday, see ya then."
"Okay," she said turning to her friends "Did he just ask me out?"
Her friends giggled.
"Oh well it can't hurt to try"
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"Here we are Dave and Busters" Jonothan said as he pulled into the parking lot. "And right after dinner we can go see whatever movie you want."
"Mm" was Christie's reply
The two walked into the restuarant and got seated immediatly. "Go ahead and order whatever you want"
"Kay" she said looking uncomfortable.
After dinner they decide to go play arcade games.
"Here is a game pass play whatever you want"
"Okay" she said.2008-09-25T17:55:14Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/19983Comment on Date ficlet<p>A nice beginning to a nice date.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=945392008-09-25T17:55:14ZSKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorfComment on Date ficlet<p>I agree with Kells. The ficlet did feel kind of rushed, and I think you could have added a bit more detail. By the way, “immedeatly” should be spelled as “immediately”. But I do think that this story could go somewhere. :)</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383602008-02-02T20:05:04Zlost_at_seahttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_2359Comment on Date ficlet<p>i’m gonna mark it as a draft</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383592008-02-02T20:04:42ZBlood Red Skyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/bloodredskyComment on Date ficlet<p>i’m going to take you’re advice thankies</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383572008-02-02T20:01:34ZBlood Red Skyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/bloodredskyComment on Date ficlet<p>i’m going to take you’re advice thankies</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383562008-02-02T20:01:20ZBlood Red Skyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/bloodredskyComment on Date ficlet<p>Hey, this looks like a cute start, but I have to say, it felt kind of rushed. My suggestion might be to break it up into two ficlets, so you could have more space to develop the ‘before’ and ‘results’ half.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383542008-02-02T19:59:49Zkellshttp://ficlets.com/authors/unravelingthestoryComment on Date ficlet<p>based on a dream</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/19983?basename=383512008-02-02T19:58:50ZBlood Red Skyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/bloodredsky