Comments on 'The Egyptian Medallion' The vines quickly wrappped around my tattered,twig-covered jeans.Then,in my hand, the medallion shimmered from the sunlight.I glanced at the pyramid I'd wandered out of,hungry,tired and deflated. I glanced at the medallion,which didn't seem so facinating as it imitated a phosphorecent glow.I realized I didn't have time for solemn remorse.I had to get out of here!The vines vigorously wrapped up my arms now.I willed the river to rise. Hundreds of pounds murky water,dude. The force was so big,the vines broke off me and dispersed into dust.Luckily,I was a daughter of Poseidon,lord of the sea. I willed the water to return back to the river and back to it's original current.I ran,tripped over mossy tree roots,got my foot stuck in holes and fell flat on my face.I spat dirt and sand out of my mouth.I never thought I would have to taste Dirt Chex Mix. So,WHAT? One of the many GODS of Egypt,Ra,had sent his veggie vines after me before,and i defeated them.Then the medallion buzzed and glowed in my pocket. I was close. 2008-04-14T04:10:11Z http://ficlets.com/feed/story/22408 Comment on The Egyptian Medallion <p>Very action packed!</p> <p>My recommendation would be to add a bit of paragraph structure. I can&#8217;t wait to see what happens in prequels/sequels!</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/22408?basename=56209 2008-04-14T04:10:11Z Ryan Earle http://ficlets.com/authors/the_ryan Comment on The Egyptian Medallion <p>hi people.plz comment! i&#8217;m writting new ficlets.be sure to read them! k?</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/22408?basename=51246 2008-03-24T20:30:16Z greekmythsrock http://ficlets.com/authors/anaklusmos Comment on The Egyptian Medallion <p>Some really fun ideas in here, especially the clash between two mythologies. It winds up a little rushed, and jumbled though. Nothing wrong with taking a bit more time to describe what&#8217;s going on. And just a thought (totally my opinion here), it might work better to explain that she&#8217;s a daughter of Poseiden before she does the trick with the water. I think it would eliminate a little of the &#8216;Huh?&#8217; factor.<br />LoA</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/22408?basename=43671 2008-02-25T00:36:23Z THX 0477 http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477