Comments on 'Desperate For Attention'"I _refuse_ to be ignored!" shouted the man with the long, drawn-out face. His greasy, clogged-up hair cascaded down his face with all the charm and elegance of an unkempt animal. His disheveled appearance served only to reinforce the threatening tone of his interjection.
"You told me someone would be with me in _five_ minutes! You _promised_ me!"
"Sir, we are very busy today and I'm afraid you will have to wait your turn like everybody else."
The till attendant was starting to become rather irked by the impatience of certain customers.
"I'm not _like_ everybody else! I demand to be seen to! I _refuse_ to be ignored!"
He reached for his inside jacket pocket as he maintained his deathly grip of eye contact with the attendant. She sensed a burning passion; a desperation in his eyes. For a moment, perhaps, she sensed power and satisfaction.
The shot rang out and the attendant slumped to the floor. A pool of blood formed around her, seeping from her head; symbolic of her short, unfulfilled life ebbing away.2008-03-06T19:54:57Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/23413Comment on Desperate For Attention<p>Great first ficlet, and may I say welcome from all of us? <br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=459712008-03-06T19:54:57ZSaint Chuckhttp://ficlets.com/authors/chuck_theloveComment on Desperate For Attention<p>The thrillerish feeling of this is awesome- it keeps you on the edge of your seat and leaves you a little bit disturbed. I’m impressed.<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=459252008-03-06T18:24:54ZMusic-Heartedhttp://ficlets.com/authors/musicxheartedComment on Desperate For Attention<p>A fantastic, gripping story. I can’t wait for the sequel.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=459192008-03-06T17:58:37Zthebetweenspacehttp://ficlets.com/authors/thebetweenspaceComment on Desperate For Attention<p>As a shop assistant, I can certainly say that this sort of thing does actually happen and I was definately able to relate to it.</p>
<p>Apart from the gun part that is . . .</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=458692008-03-06T10:46:42ZGeek Mythologyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/geek_mythologyComment on Desperate For Attention<p>descriptive, distrubing and action packed, loved it from start to finish welcome to ficlets. started out on a hig note there Adam!<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=458412008-03-06T02:53:44ZSKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorfComment on Desperate For Attention<p>Welcome, and congrats on your first ficlet! It was very interesting, and left me wanting more. <br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=458062008-03-06T01:04:14Zpaper flowershttp://ficlets.com/authors/paper_flowersComment on Desperate For Attention<p>I couldn’t help but picture the scene, which led to a sequel. I wasn’t sure what kind of shop you were picturing, so I went with a WalMart sort of possibility.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457852008-03-05T23:51:08ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on Desperate For Attention<p>Brutal and disturbing. And both feet, all in, no holds barred, enthusiastic start to ficleting! Good for you and welcome.<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457832008-03-05T23:42:35ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on Desperate For Attention<p>Did shooting the shop assistant in the head give it away? :-)</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457392008-03-05T21:17:26ZAdam Crofthttp://ficlets.com/authors/adamcroftComment on Desperate For Attention<p>I like this. You can feel that there’s something more to him then meets the eye!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457362008-03-05T21:07:38ZOrangeOreoshttp://ficlets.com/authors/orangeoreosComment on Desperate For Attention<p>This is really good! I can feel his anger and the very uneasy sense. Welcome to Ficlets! =D</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457292008-03-05T20:14:18ZBlusparrowhttp://ficlets.com/authors/blusparrowComment on Desperate For Attention<p>Congratulations on your first Ficlet! And welcome! I liked your description of the man which really gave him an unsettling air. Well done!<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457262008-03-05T20:06:25ZMeliahttp://ficlets.com/authors/meliaComment on Desperate For Attention<p>An ad for the self-checkout tills if I ever saw one. Great stuff – it’s very easy to visualise this scenario.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457252008-03-05T20:02:02ZBen Paddonhttp://ficlets.com/authors/benpaddonComment on Desperate For Attention<p>Well, this is my first ficlet! I’m not an experienced fiction writer, but it’s something I’ve always had a burning desire to do.</p>
<p>This ficlet was written straight from beginning to end. The idea came to me, and I put it down as it was. My interpretation is that the main character suffers from some sort of intense attention defecit disorder – perhaps some sort of childhood dysfunction.</p>
<p>Please feel free to continue this ficlet with a sequel. It’d be great to hear your comments and interpretations.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/23413?basename=457242008-03-05T19:59:31ZAdam Crofthttp://ficlets.com/authors/adamcroft