It’s a rainy day in March. A meeting has been planned by a mysterious sect, it takes place on an outlying site in a dark castle. Nobody knows about the sect. It is a big secret and this has to be kept, otherwise something terrible will happen. At 11.37 pm everything went as usual. They had adored their master and they had been kneeling for him. Then they had been singing and drinking and became rather drunk. Everyone was in top condition and it was big fun. But at 12.49 am it all happened. The master asked everyone to stand up and to stand in a row against the wall. He said he wanted to play a 'game'. He claimed that someone had committed treason. But nobody wanted to admit they had done that, everyone looked surprised to eachother. For this reason the master started his favourite game: torturing everyone, it was horrible to see, everybody shouted out the pain until... ...Suddenly Dr Gage could no longer stand it and admitted the treason. And what happened then, you can guess.... 2008-03-07T18:10:58Z http://ficlets.com/feed/story/23619 <p>Yes, abrupt, which I think comes from the heavy use of simple declarative statements without a lot of description. There is a difference between recounting events and telling a story. The verb tense in the second section was awkward too, very clunky to use the &#8216;had been&#8217; form there. Hate to be negative, just trying to give constructive stuff.</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/23619?basename=46214 2008-03-07T18:10:58Z THX 0477 http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477 <p>Written rather ubruptly, which makes the story loose some of it&#8217;s emphasis.<br />LoA</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/23619?basename=46204 2008-03-07T17:11:54Z Saint Chuck http://ficlets.com/authors/chuck_thelove