Comments on 'Twilight Curse'

Comments on 'Twilight Curse' His eyes were the color of flames licking wood in a camp fire, a deep orangey red that set them on fire in his too white face. I could not look away, but I knew that I had to or be consumed by something so dark and so terrible that my sanity would not be able to survive. Some unknown strength within me helped me to gradually pull my eyes down, down and away from that beautiful awful face, a face that could devour you and make you his. My limbs felt weak and a silent scream echoed in my mind as I did the unthinkable. I pulled back my long blue-black hair and exposed my neck to his gaze and surrendered myself to fate. He was taken aback and stone cold hands grabbed me by my shoulders. A small gasp escaped my lips and I melted as hot wax poured over a flame. "You would do that for me?" he cried. "Yes, yes, willingly, not forcibly, I give myself to you." "No," he cried, half crazed with need. "Take me, take me now," I screamed. "I want to be like you, I want to never die, to always be by your side!" 2008-05-05T15:43:49Z http://ficlets.com/feed/story/29295 Comment on Twilight Curse <p>Good, I need to know the things that I do or don’t do to make such a short piece zing. Thank you Sailor Emo, may I try again?</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/29295?basename=60439 2008-05-05T15:43:49Z SY http://ficlets.com/authors/user_6278 Comment on Twilight Curse <p>Good descriptions, but I felt like the end… wasn’t there(?) I don’t know it just doesn’t seem finished…<br />Thanx for entering the Challange!!!</p> http://ficlets.com/stories/29295?basename=60349 2008-05-04T23:43:32Z Sailor Emo http://ficlets.com/authors/live_2_love