Comments on 'A New Home [de ja vu challenge]'As the taxi drove over the bridge, I wondered if the movers were too far behind. They should arrive at the new house around the same time I did, or at least I hoped so. My car had broken down yesterday, of all days, the day before a big move. I nearly fell asleep in the backseat of the taxi, green and brown blending together in my window. It stopped in front of my new house, a white two-story concoction with peeling sage-green trim. I paid the driver and walked up to the front door, rummaging around in my purse for the keys. With an excited breath, I unlocked and opened the door.
No.
This was all wrong. The ash staircase, the blue paint on the walls, even the deep purple carpet. A haunting feeling came over me and I felt cold. I heard the taxi pull away outside. The door frame to the yellow-painted kitchen was marked with notches. _Not that unusual, Kim_ I reassured myself, taking deep breaths. _So what if it looks like where dad hung the noose?_ I walked over.
There, in crayon scrawl, "Kim-4'5'', Aug '95"2008-05-08T02:41:29Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/29548Comment on A New Home [de ja vu challenge]<p>Very nice use of the deja vu, and definitely creepy! I also liked the abrupt transition from the excited tone of the beginning, to the horrified tone of the end.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/29548?basename=609322008-05-08T02:41:29ZJeremyVShttp://ficlets.com/authors/jeremyvsComment on A New Home [de ja vu challenge]<p>Wow…That gave me the shivers when I read Kim’s thoughts. Talk about her bad luck. Excellent job. Thank you very much for entering!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/29548?basename=608072008-05-07T17:29:32ZNightMaidenhttp://ficlets.com/authors/user_7538Comment on A New Home [de ja vu challenge]<p>Oh my gosh, I am completely covered in goose-bumps after reading that. This is my favorite entry in the challenge, hands down.<br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/29548?basename=607472008-05-07T03:15:11ZAna Cristinahttp://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78Comment on A New Home [de ja vu challenge]<p>yikes! horrifying! to accidentally revisit a home with Your memories inside? The ones you tried to forget? sub-conscience win out.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/29548?basename=606992008-05-06T23:55:10ZMistress Elsha Hawkhttp://ficlets.com/authors/mistress_elsha_hawkComment on A New Home [de ja vu challenge]<p>Neat idea and good use of the deja vu phenomenon for excellent, quiet creepy factor in your little story. Great job on the challenge!</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/29548?basename=606502008-05-06T21:56:35ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477