Comments on 'Message in a Basement'Massive chest heaving deep breaths of anticipation, Agent Lefleur stomped out of the interrogation room, away from his quarry, his prime suspect, to the speaker phone indicated by the underling. She was a junior agent, mainly doing paperwork, making background calls, generally blending in to the walls.
"It's one of 'em?" he asked gruffly.
The junior agent nodded, "Joanne Crane."
"When?"
"5 minutes ago. They transferred the recording right over."
"Trace?"
"All we know is a cell tower Northeast of town."
Satisfied she hadn't screwed anything up or left out a pertinent detail, Agent Lefleur grunted at her, "Play it."
With static and breaks, the message played, "_Help me...us! We've been kidnapped, and, and, we're in some kind of basement...oh man, oh man_ Miss, what is your name? _My name is Joanne...oh jeez, he's here. He's here, you have to help us, he's right_..."
It ended with a sickening thud that even Agent Lefleur felt somewhere deep in his gut. But _they_ were alive.2008-05-29T18:39:37Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/30505Comment on Message in a Basement<p>They’re right. It’s full of suspense. I can’t wait to read what you did with the sequal to this one. Excellent job.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=661682008-05-29T18:39:37ZHunting Beautyhttp://ficlets.com/authors/missourigirlComment on Message in a Basement<p>o yes, very suspenseful. can feel the tension through the audio tape.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=654742008-05-27T17:29:09ZKermitgorfhttp://ficlets.com/authors/kermitgorfComment on Message in a Basement<p>I’m trying to comment more b/c I notice the writers I admire (like you) have the most useful comments on my ficlets. Your dialog is rarely “stilted”, and this piece is a good example of that… It’s probably due to your several years experience as a student of human nature, thought we’ve discussed that b4. You also have a knack for ending a ficlet with suspense. I intend to read more on this series.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=628762008-05-17T00:57:14ZYodaOnCrackhttp://ficlets.com/authors/yodaoncrackComment on Message in a Basement<p>can’t wait for the sequel to this one.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=624742008-05-15T14:28:17ZPyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)http://ficlets.com/authors/pyropunkComment on Message in a Basement<p>I’m just catching up on this series now, really enjoying it so far.</p>
<p>There’s something very William Faulkner about the whole thing. Very precise with a carefully selected presentation. The shifting views is reminiscent of Faulkner’s narrative stream of consciousness. Not to mention a very emotional and evocative story.</p>
<p>Very well done so far.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=623042008-05-14T19:15:39ZSteve Fairweatherhttp://ficlets.com/authors/fairweather12Comment on Message in a Basement<p>Suspenseful, especially the call from one of the hostages and it’s abrupt ending in a thud.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30505?basename=622882008-05-14T18:11:11Zthebetweenspacehttp://ficlets.com/authors/thebetweenspace