Comments on 'What happens in the halls after algebra' "Sooo....." I said. I pushed my fingers through my long, brown hair. I smelled myslef to make sure i didn't put on too much Axe.
"You going to the dance tomorrow/" I asked Brittany.She wore the tightest and the shortest shirt in the wolrd that day. I took it all in.
She glanced down at the little ribbon pin on her shirt.
" I....have........plans........I'm going to.....this........thing......yea! I'm going to this thing, so.....I'm not going."
"Why do you have to be so beautif-?"
Just then.,some punks ran down the hall and dragged me by my neck. They had a knife,and they almost slitted my throat when:
She shouted:"No!!!!Please Stop!!! don't kill him!She was all teary eyed. Her face was all blotchy, flushed and red then.
She ran over to them, threw her flip-flops at them and kicked them in the balls.the pain knocked them out instantly.
"Thanks, I owe you." I said.
"that's true. Anyways,it's a cruel world out there."
" I might go,". she said.2008-05-16T06:37:40Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/30678Comment on What happens in the halls after algebra<p>You’ve got a pretty decent number of typos in here. Also, when Brittany is struggling to find an excuse you should stick to traditional ellipses rather than a random assortment of periods. Most people who try to spontaneously lie actually rush groups of words followed by short pauses. So I’d suggest something like:<br />“I have, um… plans.” Her eyes shifted quickly up and to the left before returning to catch my quizzical gaze. “I’m going to this, uh… thing. Yeah! I’m going to this thing, so I can’t go.”</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/30678?basename=626722008-05-16T06:37:40ZJohn Perkinshttp://ficlets.com/authors/johnperkins21