Comments on 'Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple'

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-23T02:30:53Z

Kev, feel your pain on the descriptive writing style. I’m a VERY descriptive writer, and my favorite thing is to literally “paint” a scene for my readers. It’s tough on here to get out of that habit. The way I think of a ficlet post is either:
A) A snapshot of a scene, or
B) A really fast plot.

That’s kept me moving!

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-20T23:30:36Z

Again, VERY good point Ben. Please keep the suggestions coming!

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-20T21:00:34Z

Kev,

I feel you on the character limit. On one of my Pillar / Hammer sci-fi entries you’ve been reading, I went 500 characters over the limit. I ended up breaking it up, expanding both, and making two entries. Might consider that. I’m also very scene-descriptive.

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-17T18:56:26Z

I’m killing your comments. Oh well,
I used to think I was really good at Street Fighter II, then one day I stepped up against some kid like 3 years younger than me and he decimated me. I was crushed. I usually beat everyone I played, could get the faces ending (beat it w/out losing a round), and I really thought I was good. Then I hit a real challenge. I started playing against this kid almost daily, and eventually that made me a much better player. I look at Ficlets in the same way as that kid.

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-17T18:53:43Z

Ok, I can see that with the character limit. It’s made me cut stuff I really liked more than once. Exposition is very difficult to do in this format, so I definitely feel your pain.
I think overall you’re doing a very good job. The stories that you have crafted are fun, interesting reads. We all deal with the limit a little differently, I simply find adhering to the limit while maintaining proper structure is part of the challenge. You’ll never get better at anything without a challenging opponent. =P

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-17T17:36:04Z

I’m intentionally cheating with the punctuation here because of the 1024 limit… just call me e e cummings :)

I’ll check out the link. What I’m struggling with here is the fact that I’m extremely “graphic” oriented. I’m battling with my desired to “describe” the scene and the character’s actions as well as the dialog.

I literally JUST started writing so, hopefully I’ll find my bearings here soon ;)

As usual, thanks for taking the time to give such a complete and insightful critique.

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-17T06:08:23Z

Also, as long as we’re on dialog, attributes should be used as sparingly as possible. And it’s also preferred to limit your usage to said and asked, unless another attribute works a heck of a lot better.
Here is link to an excellent article by Elmore Leonard (one of the greatest writers of dialog in my opinion, pay specific attention to #3):
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=940CE3DD103BF935A25754C0A9679C8B63

Comment on Möbius Strip: Kiss of the Poison Apple

2008-05-17T06:01:35Z

Another good entry. One thing I’ve noticed with your writing is that your punctuation is off with the quotes. For example:
“Exactly” Eric replied “Now what do you think…” should be:
“Exactly,” Eric replied. “Now what do you think…”
You seem to leave out the punctuation in a lot of your dialog. There should almost always be punctuation between the dialog and the attribute (i.e. he said, she asked, etc.). It’s a good way to skirt the character limit, but selective word choice would be preferable.