Comments on 'Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge'Her eyes. Forget what she said. Her eyes said everything. They always did, from the first time we met to presumably her last dying breath. I should be so lucky.
The sterile environment cast its sickly glow upon her as she walked, one leg mincing in front of the other as she came. She was so demure, so refined, so ill-suited to this place, this habitation of dregs and miscreants.
I don't know what I expected. I suppose I've always been a hopeless romantic. That's what most people say about me, I believe. But she sat across the plexiglass from me, and I saw the fight behind her eyes, a concerto of sorrow, recrimination, and hesitation.
I did not see hope in her eyes..
I did not see love in her eyes.
Her hand, so fluid and graceful, picked up the cold, black receiver on her side. Of course, I'd had mine plastered to my sweating face for an eternity. She would speak, her eyes seemed to indicate. I would not like the words. They would not be kind. Her eyes warned me.
Damn her eyes.2008-05-27T17:05:05Zhttp://ficlets.com/feed/story/31594Comment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Thanks for the comments. And to answer Trann’s comment, yes, I’m currently for both professional help and a publisher (or at least a literary agent).</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=654712008-05-27T17:05:05ZTHX 0477http://ficlets.com/authors/thx_0477Comment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Wow. You need help. Or a publisher.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=654592008-05-27T16:32:29ZTrannhttp://ficlets.com/authors/trannComment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Awesomeness. Great, well told story.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=647612008-05-24T21:03:16Zthebetweenspacehttp://ficlets.com/authors/thebetweenspaceComment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Magnificent story, very well told and I think if it had been in chronological order, it would not have the same effect. You knocked this challenge out of the ballpark, my friend. <br />LoA</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=646652008-05-24T14:41:53ZAna Cristinahttp://ficlets.com/authors/asimon78Comment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Excellent 1st person POV – something you always seem to have a knack for… A well painted image with great visuals to compliment as well…</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=646532008-05-24T14:12:09ZYodaOnCrackhttp://ficlets.com/authors/yodaoncrackComment on Final Concerto: Out-of-Order Challenge<p>Wow…The imagery and language is so tangible here.</p>
<p>I love the sense of loathing and pessimism coming out of our narrator. Great emotion in this piece.</p>http://ficlets.com/stories/31594?basename=646102008-05-24T04:43:03ZBrowncoatbenhttp://ficlets.com/authors/browncoatben