Armour Vivant's Stories

Questions. {AGH}

2007-10-07T03:18:04Z

What do you do when the person who meant so much to you for so long starts to drift away? When, after being all you cared about, seem to not care at all. What do you do when the one you loved can’t trust you enough (is it trust?) to tell you something that could change their life forever? How can you confront them? What do you do when you lose all control? When you have someone in your life already, but can’t seem to get the other off your mind. Is it the feeling of loss that causes you to remember, or is it something deeper… more meaningful…. When life seemed to be going perfect, until the moment when you realize you could’ve had more? Or am I torturing myself because I never believe I deserve it?

Why can’t I figure this out?

purpose, part two.

2007-08-15T03:02:41Z

Am i here to help someone else find you god? Maybe im here because one day ill slow someone down for 10 seconds just by saying hi which then they aviod a fatal car accident they would have died in and they go on to fulfill their purpose in life. It still to this day haunts me on many occasions. I feel old at the age of 15 yet i know i have a long life ahead of me. I welcome death, i am not afraid, nor should i be. Not sayin i wish to commit suicide, but i just want to be there next to my king.

Life in essence is a test
Right now i have a good grade
it just seems like the class will never end!
_______

that was written by my role model jake.

i had to share his wisdom.

purpose, part one.

2007-08-15T03:01:52Z

wow.
purpose
That word has drove me insane for almost a year now. What is my purpose here i really have no clue. Yet i live life everyday, and it just seems like days stringed upon days. I still have these feelings. Even though i know through scripture that im here for god. Maybe its just because of my adolescence, but sometimes it seems like ill never get to the end of the tunnel. I wish to be in my fathers kingdom, and come back for the glorious thousand years that christ will take over earth, then be there to shape the new earth and heaven. Yet i know i will be there, just sometimes i find myself saying why cant i be there now. Why am I, jake sapp, here?

Kristallnacht

2007-06-19T16:15:22Z

November 9, 1938
Th sky, dark
Cool air across the Reich
Our small town; quiet, sleepy
Stone houses line the streets
Stars glow overhead
Winter is near- chimneys billow smoke
I wake as I hear voices
Little brother taps my shoulder,
Frightened, as was I
Commotion outside the house
Father rushes to the window
Pauses for a beat, pushes us into the closet
Nazis had come, terrorizing the city
Burning the synagogue
Shattered glass covered the streets
It ended as quickly as it had begun
A night that will always consume my dreams
Kristallnacht-the Night of Broken Glass.

Forest Sanctuary.

2007-06-19T16:04:56Z

I spun around until I was too dizzy to see or move, then I plopped down onto the underbrush of the forest. Looking up all you could see was trees.
This was my home away from home. My sanctuary. Any time I need to get away from it all, or when I just want to relax, I run into the woods behind my house. There, it feels like everything is clear. No drama, no pressure to be something I’m not, no annoying pleas to do chores. It was my safe haven.
If ever a place close to heaven, I would say this was just down the road.

Into the Ocean, End it All...

2007-06-19T02:30:43Z

I sat on the edge of the rock, looking over the misty bay. Thinking long and hard, I thought of him, and whether it would be worth it. I never thought it would be me getting ready to jump, breaking the barrier between life and death. My stomach churned as I stood up. It would be a long way down. Why not? There was nothing to stop me, no one cared.
Counting it down, moments of my mind flashed before me. I took a few steps down.
3, 2,
“STOP.”
I turned around to see him running towards me. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and carried me away from the jagged shoals I was about to jump into.
“I love you. I’m sorry for everything I said. I didn’t mean it. Forgive me, and never, ever pull that shit again. I don’t want to lose you.” Then he kissed me as I cried into his shoulders.

finally awake

2007-06-19T01:20:39Z

I saw my life, but it wasn’t like I remebered it… much less dramatic. It was kind of like an episode of I Love Lucy. As if it was in front of a live audience. A chair floated past and I sat on it, staring at the television with my head cocked to the side.
It was odd to see my life pass before me, actually frightening. Was it an omen? I had to wake up, and fast. I pinched and poked my self, jumped around, trying anything to get myself to wake up. Finally, my eyes opened and I was back in my bed, covered in sweat.
What was that all about? I wanted to know if it was a sign or if that salad dressing was a little past bad.. I looked over at my clock. 3:48. It was too early [[or late]] to think about this now. I needed to go back to sleep.

the meaning of love.

2007-06-18T22:54:09Z

The meaning of love has changed so much.
When I was a kid, you said I love you to your parents, family members, and to your stuffed animals as you went to bed.
Then I got a little older, and you told your best friends you love them.
Now, in highschool, love is much harder to say. It belongs to that one special person. And it feels funny saying it to other people.
This isn’t a good story or anything, but I had to get out my thoughts.
The meaning of love has changed.

Getting Out

2007-06-18T21:56:31Z

It was time to go. I was getting out of this town if it killed me.
I ran back to my house, the dirty dress dragged in the mud, my hair soaked.

What to pack… well, one can’t know what to pack when they don’t know where they are going. I put what seemed important in an old purple suitcase, used only once and as a child. Finally I grabbed the keys and jumped into the jeep. Who cares if the top is down as long as I get out.

I drove and drove until I reached the train station. I bought a ticket to Chicago, hopped on the train, and I was off.

It felt as if a ton of bricks were taken off my back, and I really loved that feeling.

First Love

2007-06-18T21:31:50Z

We sat on a bench, one whom you couldn’t quite tell which color it was painted most recently, in the warm afternoon sun. Fingers intertwined, watching children run histerically, playing on the slides and monkey bars.

My head rested on his shoulder, sitting in silence. A solemn quiet rolled in as the last bunch of kids left the park.

He looked at me, staring staight into my eyes. I would remember those green eyes forever. My first love.

Forgotten Vows

2007-06-15T04:39:28Z

I layed on the wet grass, thinkin of what was. What is. What will be. Everything was lost, I had chosen my path. Maybe it was wrong, but second thoughts are overrated. Looking at the oncoming clouds a smile took over my face. The dress was already stained with tears, what would a little rain hurt?

I had to stop thinking about it, about how I was wrong. My wedding day would not be the memorable experience everyone said it would be. Scratch that- it would be, just not in the conventional sense.

It was time. I had to get out of this town, this god-forsaken town, where cows outnumbered the people. The gossip had probably already spread. “I heard the Grennich girl ran away from the altar. What a fool.” I could hear it, ringing through my ears.

Had to get out. Just had to go.

But to where?