CayenneChris Conroy's Stories

Unfound

2008-05-07T23:49:52Z

In the dirt, in the dark, backed into the corner, under the house, is your perfect place. You keep still. If you do, no one will find you. The broken shards of masonry dig into you ribs and leave sores. The grey dust cakes your skin and slowly piles around your nostrils. Your light, slow breath barely disturbing it. Spiders build nests around your open eyes, hazing your vision with webs and the stirring of tiny twitching legs. You keep still. Unblinking, you watch the cracks of light seeping through the foundation. A shadow passes. Your heart starts with a shock, and your stomach falls away. You keep still, only now it takes all your might. You want to run, to bellow in terror. In rage. Fight or flight. Somehow you resist. You keep still Not moving. Not blinking. Nothing comes for you. Night. You listen for footfalls over the sounds of the animals. Outside. In the woods. In the yard. God help you, in the house above you. Nothing. They haven’t found you. You keep still.

By Their Fruit You Shall Know Them

2008-04-02T04:29:23Z

As soon as the Serpent slithered into the tree, the Fruit knew it’s intentions were evil. The Serpent, for it’s part could feel the disapproving aura of the Fruit all around him. Not that it mattered. They were fruit. The worst they could do was fall on him accidentally, and there was little danger of that up here. When the Woman approached the Tree, the Fruit tried to warn Her off. This failed for three reasons. Firstly, they were fruit. They had no means of communicating whatsoever. Secondly, even if they could speak, The Woman, unlike the Fruit, had no knowledge of the existence of evil and would have no idea what they were talking about. And lastly, even if She could understand Their warning, the Woman was stark bleeding nude; a state the Fruit promptly recognized as Evil, and were, therefore too flustered and embarrassed to speak, even if they could. Which they couldn’t. Later, after the Fall, as the Fruit hung alone in the Garden, It wondered if all this was such a good idea. It felt bad for that.

Mock Culture Challenge - The Stars Go Out

2008-02-06T01:03:29Z

When the Stars died, they collectively woke up in an after-life that was the essence of Tinseltown.
Every night was the Oscars. They dressed up in their finery to arrive at the Hollywood bowl to hordes of screaming fans, and took turns receiving best Actor/Actress awards and Lifetime achievements. Then it was off to the parties where they partook of every flavor of orgiastic excess until dawn, in a mad celebration of themselves. And as the first rays of the sun broke over the hills, the Rich and Famous, would find themselves instantly transported back to their beds, hangover free; ready to repeat the process.
There was no work. No accomplishment. No meaning.
Just limos, paparazzi, feasts, drink, drugs, sex and a never ending, nightly party to celebrate who they once were.
After the first thirty or so years, the Beautiful People began to wonder if this was, in fact, heaven.
Eventually, though, they decided it was.

An Inspiration For Us All

2008-02-05T00:30:42Z

“I want to be a tornado when I grow up.” said the boy after he marched up to his parents.
“You’ll have to go to school for that.” replied his father, without looking up from his copy of Time.
“Yes.” added his mother from behind her knitting. “It’s no small matter for a boy to become a major meteorological event.”
“Well, I don’t care.” The boy stated. “I’m going to be a tornado and that’s final.”
After a week of searching the phone listings, they finally found someone who was willing (for about ten dollars an hour, three hours a week) to teach him how to become a tornado.
The training was quite rigorous, mostly spent spinning in place while a tubby man in a red track suit with a combover yelled at him (“Faster, faster! You’ll never make F3 like that! C’mon, think wind shear!!”).
After about three months of intense preparation and nausea, he was ready. He was sent to devastate a small town in Iowa, and did well until he collided with the first fence post and sprained his wrist rather badly.

Up Yours, Joni Mitchell.

2008-02-05T00:29:50Z

They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot.

Mind you, it was a very nice parking lot.

It had lots of trees and shrubs down the medians and a playground for the kids.

And the rules concerning littering and loud music were strictly enforced, but everyone thought the parking lot was so nice that even the most unruly teenagers couldn’t bring themselves to mess it up.

They even built observation decks to view the woodland creatures who were relocated to a safe but still pristine area just off to the side of the parking lot.

In fact, most preferred the parking lot to Paradise as, unlike Paradise, you could drive up and park you car here.

Which was nice if you wanted to have a picnic or something.

So, all in all, there was no harm done.