More Ways Than One's Stories

In A Matter Of Seconds

2008-10-05T15:25:24Z

I miss them.
I miss the ability to click and remember
I miss just wondering how I could have taken that.
I miss the art it captured.
I miss looking.
I miss the memories.
I miss the love some of them had.
I miss seeing how far I have come.

I’m missing everything.
I’m missing nothing.
I’m missing the healing.
I’m missing the hurt.
I’m missing my bad days.
I’m missing my good days.
I’m missing a part of me.

They were the only thing that I obsessed over fully.
They were my life in steps.
They were an outlet.
They were a feeling.
They were my life line.
They were the only thing I was proud of.

My photos saved me.
My photos never left me.
My photos kept me sane.
My photos were memories.

In a matter of seconds all they stood for was erased.
In a matter of seconds something died.
In a matter of seconds everything was taken.
In a matter of seconds my heart died.
In a matter of seconds I lost myself.

So That It Never Fades

2008-10-05T05:44:19Z

I can’t say what’s going on
I’ve lost something that was a part of me
I lost more than you think I have
I’m hurting more than you think I am
Because I have nothing
When I know I have everything

I have you
I have the actual person
Which is what bothers me
I have the memories
And along with everything I took
I still have you
But one day I know I won’t
Those pictures somehow all connected to you
I remember you right beside me

I met you and everything changed
And I owe it to you
For you to know
That all I wanted was to say
Thank you
And have it be repeated over and over again
So that it never fades

I'm Found

2008-10-04T17:25:41Z

I used become of everything
I used to know how to leave it alone
I can’t, but notice how it all shifts
And how all my hard work
Is nothing, but lint

I sit here alone
Just gesturing to you all
My heart seems to bleed
At the echoing call
I heard someone say
Nothing but may
Come to me now

I look all around me
My life open wide
To a world of possibility
Lingering in strides
If you could hear me
Hope is an image
Left down by the stars

CDs and cases stack up on shelves
I wish I could leave with a few quotable deals
Seeing the world as it should be
With rhythms and motions
Left down for us all

I sing to you now
Bleeding the leftovers
Of all I have known
And I don’t know where it is
But somehow I’m found

Ripping Apart

2008-10-01T00:44:22Z

I have a fear
Of everything I’ve known
It hurts to hear
My name and all it’s mistake
Of everything I knew I could take
I thought it was you
But you broke me down
Now I have all this shame

It’s been so long
I can’t explain why I let you still have a hold on me
But you do
I think of you and remember all the things you said
How everyone tells me you’re wrong
I can’t survive
I live in this cave
That has a small light that goes dim
You still scare me

I look back and I’m afraid that you are behind me
If you knew
If you knew that this is what you did
Would you change it?
Because right now
I have this fear of you
And it is still ripping me apart

We Have A Choice

2008-09-30T04:35:43Z

I’ve never really known why the world works so hard
It breaks my heart
I don’t know how to say
All the things I want
Maybe it’s because nothing can be

The way we are
It’s not this mixed up order of yes and no
It’s just the way we live
We show ourselves when the light is good
Never knowing it for sure

My guessing game
My guessing game is one with too many rules
My life, your life
It has a purpose
It has a truth
And we have a choice

Lost

2008-09-30T03:52:19Z

I am sitting here
With eraser shavings piled up
I don’t know what I’m doing
And everything is the same as the page in front of me
Messed up and wiped away

I work as long as I can
Nothing ever works
It just looks worse
I can’t keep up with everyone
You can say I’m wrong
But I can’t help what I know is true

I don’t think I’m good enough
I never really have
And it hurts sometimes when I’m proven right
In everything I do, I somehow loose
So I create these messes
Slowly they pile up
And I remember how lost I really am

Get It All Back

2008-09-29T05:51:42Z

I know where it is
It’s a truth I can’t express
And I was thinking about how I could leave it behind
Where everything was made to be something else
But everything has a place
And everything has a purpose
I was thinking about how to let go

I know how it ends
It’s a clip running through my head
And I was thinking about how it all started
Where everything had changed it’s course
But everything shifted
And everything seems to be lost
I was thinking about how to retrace it

I know how to find it
It’s somewhere in my mind
And I was thinking about how I knew the answer
Where everything was pieced together
But everything looked different
And everything appeared distorted
I was thinking about how to get it all back

Without A Plan

2008-09-29T04:29:38Z

He came to school the next day without a plan. It wasn’t unusual for him, he never had a plan. Not for making tacos, or doing his homework. Johnny would do all of these, of course, but he would leave his mind open until the moment seemed perfect.

During the passing periods, and lunch break Johnny walked slower, just to make sure he didn’t miss her. He never found her. He thought that maybe tomorrow he would, until the bell rang at the end of the day and she was walking down the hallway. Might as well give it a shot, right?

“Hey, Spencer?”, he said after catching up with her.

“Hey, Johnny… How’s life?”, she said while looking curiously at the huge amount of people going down the stairs.

“It’s good. I was wondering if you wanted to finish our discussion about photography sometime.”, he said, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

“I would like that.”, she stopped in front of the art class and that’s when Johnny realized that she was needing to talk to a teacher.

“Great, lunch, tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

That Freedom

2008-09-28T05:30:12Z

You know, there seems to be a need to speak
Of our misfortunes
But that’s for another time
I would just like to talk about you

I used to be this person of broken nature
Everything lost and unbound
But there came a day when everything came up new
I wasn’t sure of how to react
This is all still so new

But how does it apply to you
Well, you were just it
You were what made me better
You were what made me want to be
You were what saved my life

I can’t live here anymore
Neither can you
Not permanently, not like before
But if I ever told you anything that held substance
It would be this

Out of everything that I got out of that place
I got you
What more would I ask of you
Than to just be how you feel
Because you at least deserve that freedom
We all do

Spencer

2008-09-27T21:28:02Z

The one thing that Johnny knew he loved was photography. It sort of just found him. He knew that no matter what happened he could always have photos. Which is why he is glad someone took the time to appreciate them.

This, girl, though, who was she? She just came up to him and then went away, but Johnny knew she wasn’t like all the rest.

She seemed to have this spark in her. Not really sure of who she is, but interesting as could be. He wanted to find her again, or have her find him again. Either way he wanted to talk to her.

He went home and actually went through his yearbook. There she was. She came last year, just like he did, but it’s a big school you don’t really get to know everyone.

There she was… Spencer.

Just Look

2008-09-27T18:45:05Z

If I was to just sit here
Just looking off into space
Would you look too?
Just look at the wonders of the world?
You know it can be helpful
To just watch the sky

I sat here watching everything
Nothing ever made sense
The more I tried to figure it out
The more lost I got
Sometimes the simplest idea
Is the answer

So would you?
Would you join me?
Because the sky is so big
Sometimes feeling small is all you need
Just look and never stop

A Miracle

2008-09-27T06:34:25Z

I was hoping for a miracle. You know, the ones you hear about in the newspaper? Not really as noticeable, or jaw dropping, just a miracle. I was hoping for a miracle.

You didn’t know this, but I was hoping for one for you. I don’t really know what kind or what for, but I know you need a change.

You keep so much to yourself, which is fine, so do I. It’s not healthy, I know, but I’ve done it for so long that it’s normal. I understand more than you realize.

I hate that I leave you alone, I really do. I wish I didn’t, but you shut yourself down. So I’m hoping for a miracle, because that’s all that I can do right now.

Your Existence Gives Me Hope

2008-09-27T05:27:01Z

You said to me once
When I was walking down the street
That you don’t know where your place is
Everything doesn’t make sense
That when the phone rings
No one answers

I quickly responded
With every word in the world
Of power and strength
You just sat there and looked downward
If only I knew to shut up

We kept walking
You said that there is one thing
One thing that keeps you from falling off the edge
You said, “Your existence gives me hope.”
Then everything stopped

I'm Sorry

2008-09-26T23:13:10Z

I can say it a thousands times
For so many stupid little things
It is so highlighted that I can’t say it
Not for this anyway
Not for you

It has become so meaningless
That in the event of everything
I’m afraid to say
That I am scared for you
So I answer in minutes
Because that phrase
That phrase is a shortcut
A way to avoid the problem

Not this time
This time I’m adding to it
It is not just two words and the end
Not because I don’t know what to do
Or wish I wasn’t where you are
But because I actually have to say it
But I’ve never said this with more meaning than now
I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it earlier

You're Stuck With Me

2008-09-26T22:49:57Z

Light is something that you have
Not exactly shining on you, following you around
It is something you create
It is something you put into practice
Not for you
For someone else

If that light shines perfectly
Well, how can you live?
I mean you always have it
It never goes away, no matter how dark it gets
But to make it brighter than the moment
Outshine your exterior
No one can see the interior

I saw the light one time
It was for people like me
You know I can’t say that I am perfect
But you chose me
I chose you
On your brightest
And your darkest day
What can I say?
You’re stuck with me