Lost In Thought's Stories

Huge Room, Nothing To Fill It With

2008-03-13T21:46:26Z

I slowly get out of the car, head down. I look up to see my new home. It wasn’t bad, smaller than the last, but bigger than the 3rd…no, second house we had. That one was puny.

It was a basic 3 bedroom, 2 bath living space with good sized living room, kitchen, study, and good amounts of closet space (not that I needed that).

After checking out the house, I go outside and remove two of my boxes and bring them to my room that was HUGE . I lay the boxes on the ground, look up, and peer around the room. What the hell am I gunna fill all this up with?

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After my father and I got everything into the house, unpack all the stuff in our rooms, and the kitchen items, we were pooped. We ordered take out from a local pizzaria and ate a whole pie.

I go up to my room, change, and lay down on my bed, tired as ever. The light shine up on my cleiling, showing me that it was only 7:30. And despite that, I fell asleep moments later.

21 Hours of Nothing But Road

2008-03-13T01:01:37Z

It was true; I did tend to have fewer boxes every time I moved. After the 3rd time we moved I just stopped getting real close to people, knowing what would happen soon enough. It seemed that every time I got close to something, or someone, that I move. So I just stopped.

Once we got everything into the van, we began to drive. It was a long driver, longer than any other drive we have ever made. 21 hours. 21 hours of nothing.

My mother died when I was 7. She was walking home from the store, just picking up some milk, when this damn drunk driver decided to take her out. So there it was, she was dead, found at 5 a.m. sprawled out on the ground. The shop owner from the store that was close by found her then. That was it; all I had from her was her necklace. It was simple, yet it meant so much. It was a small gold heart on a silver chain; the other had gotten to small.

I ended up falling asleep thinking about this, apparently with the heart clasped under my fingers.

Then I woke up, we were there…

Ice Cold Trail

2008-03-12T00:09:55Z

I didn’t think I was walking for this long. I started when it was light, but now as I look up, it’s dark. And I have no clue where I am.

I am walking down this trail, through a forest that seems to go on forever. It’s cold, ice cold and there are trees everywhere that shine blue. I look up. The moon is high above, shining down upon me. I walk, no out of the transe I was in before, now scared as ever.

A ice cold breeze brushes passed me, perfectly hitting every inch of skin not covered in cloth. I shivered, it went right through me. Why hadn’t I brought my coat? I guess I didn’t plain on walking through a freezer forest.

How far did this thing go? There was a trail, so it ended somewhere right? It has to, it just has to.

I started t realize that I verbalized everything I thought was said in my mind. Great, now I’m talking to myself. Great. I’m going crazy. I rolled my eyes at myself.

I continued walking, until I saw something. A light? No. It was a porch light! A house! I began to run…

Sunflowers

2008-03-11T22:19:12Z

I run and run. The warm summer air blows my long brown hair up behind me. My eyes are closed tight. My blank white t-shirt flies up behind me. The wind whistles through my jeans. As I run the sunflowers blow past me, like blurs on fogged glass.

The flowrs encape me. I can’t see where I started verses where I’m going. That’s the thing I love about running through this field of flowers. I can never know where it’s taken me. I can always come here to get away from everything. When ever I come here, I feel as though my whole life doesn’t matter anymore, like I could have done anything and I wouldn’t care the least bit.

This feild is my own specail place, where I can come to get away from anything and anyone.

I stop now. Sitting. I look up to see the darkness is approaching. When I began, it was light, now it is dark. Oh, how time flies.

I am tired and do not feel like running back. So, I lay down, in the sunflower field. Letting the moon light the earth. As I fall alseep, everything feels right…

Packing Less and Less

2008-03-11T21:46:12Z

I stand here, huntched over, leaning on my elbows that were balenced perfectly on the railing of the balcony. There are boxes pilled high against the far wall of my bedroom, filled with all the objects that once covered my room.

I was moving, agian. This was about the 5th or 6th time I’ve moved in my life time. My father is part of this buisness and when something crashes, anywhere across the country, he fixes it. So, I have been to a bunch of different places. I was hoping that I could stay here. Guess that didn’t work out very well.

I stand there, letting the cool morning air brush over my skin, taking as much of it in before I had to leave it all behind. I took I deep breath, closing my eyes. I stand straight up, streching. Then there was a knock on my doors. I turned around and it was my father. He looked over to the pile of boxes against my wall before saying,

“You seem to pack less and less every time.”
I rolled my eyes and began helping him take the boxes out to the van.

Heart At Sea

2008-03-11T21:45:40Z

I stood there on the sea shore and let the cool, crisp, salty morning air whip through my hair. I was the only one on the beach, in jeans and a loose yellow tank top. I loved the shore.

The salty ocean water rose up the beach and wrapped itself around my foot. SLowly being covered in sand. The bottoms of my jeans were soaked. I pulled them up and walked slowly into the water. I lay on my back and begin to float. I closed my eyes and take it all in. My hair fanning out around my head.

I reached down into the cold water and searched for a shell. Finally my hand hit one, I gripped it tight and pulled it up to eye level. It was somewhat roundwith many edges. Rounded off from wearing. I stood there and looked at it. I took off the chain around my neck with a small heart stone at the end and rapped it around the shell, tieing it tight, very tight.

I turned to the sea, and threw it as far it I could. This way, my heart would always be at sea. No matter were I was…

Go, Went, Gone

2008-03-11T01:02:38Z

Why did it always rain when things go wrong? Why couldn’t it snow, or maybe even hail. But no. It always rained. Just like on that night….

It wasn’t easy for him then. His world was coming down. He had appearently been smoking pot, and it got out of control. He never ment for harm, but the kid tried to mug him! So, he happend to have a dagger with him at the time. He was messed up that night.

So, he killed the kid. His trial was coming up and no one was supporting him except me. I was there. I loved him anyway. I knew he meant no harm, but I guess he just got fed up. I guess he didn’t want to cause any more trouble then there already was.

So, I got home that night finding a note on my door telling me everything. I ran to the hill, but was to late. I was steps away. But he jumped. He jumped and landed on the rocks. Dead.

That’s when it began to rain. Millions of drops fell from the sky. My tears well mixed in. He was gone.

So what did I do. I went too…

One Time Is All It Takes

2008-03-10T23:49:53Z

There was the tree. I remmeber it all the perfectly. Me and him, coming here all the time to excape from the world. He loved to draw and thought that this was the perfect spot. I always came with him

He always told me I had that kind of face that was gental, yet ferce. He siad I was the perfect suject. He used to always sketch me in some position, and I was always by this tree.

This used to be the perfect spot. This tree in the middle of nowhere. It was truely the place to get away from it all, somewhere where you could really be yourself.

And where was he now? Up there, in the sky. And why? Because the one time I didn’t come with him something happened. I didn’t come because I was too tired. So, he went anyway, and he died. He probably knew that there was a storm comeing. He probably figured it would look great by The Tree. That’s probably why he wanted so despritaly to go.

But that’s the thing. It’s all probablies. We will never really know what he was thinking, all because I wasn’t there…

If the Sky Could Cry

2008-03-10T23:14:09Z

I heard once that when it rains, it’s like the sky is crying. But for who? For what? Why?

It makes me think of all those tears shed around the world, by people who despritaly need a hug and be told, “It’s all right.”

When I heard that saying and thought those thoughts, it made me wish one thing. That if the skies could cry, that they would cry once for everyone. So that no one would cry ever again. And that maybe when a raindbow would show, it be a signed that everything was really all right.

But that is the thing. There will always be something to cry about. And until you find the right shoulder to dry on, you’ll always be in darkness.

There was a time when I thought I would never stop. I thought the world was crashing down. But then my rainbow came out, and I’m all better now.

Many people cry, but all for one reason…we cry because the sky cannot cry for us…and if it could, think how it would be.

If only the sky could cry. Oh, if the sky could cry instead of us.