Fyora Cartagan's Stories

Haikus from 2005

2008-05-13T00:07:58Z

The birds watch the sun
rising above the earth’s fog
slowly lighting day

The dead dried brown grass
Munched by a brown buffalo
‘neath the not brown sky

The tears fall unseen
Hidden in the sea of rain
filling cold puddles

The leaves swirl around
Lifted away by the wind
Taken from their home

The deer jumps away
Into the greened thick wood
Trotting down its trail

Like Apples and Oranges

2008-04-29T15:53:10Z

“I’m back” called Steve, as he walked in the door balancing three paper bags precariously on his arms. “I got the groceries.”

“Did you get any oranges?” asked Adaime absently, as she kept tinkering with her maps and calculator.

As he set down the bags in the kitchen, he noticed that she hadn’t even looked at him since he came in. “No, I didn’t get any oranges.”

“Oh, I’d really like some right now. Or orange juice, that works too,” she spoke with her head down, still working.

He was beginning to get a little irritated with her. “I didn’t get any oranges or orange juice, there aren’t any. If you want them, they’re down at the bottom of the ocean. Feel free to go get them yourself.”

She didn’t look up.

He walked to the door, and opened it roughly.

“Where are you going?” she asked, still not looking up.

“I’m going out.” he slammed the door behind him.

She started to get up and go after him, but didn’t want to leave herself in the middle of a large math problem.

She’d go find him later.

Sky Cow

2008-04-28T20:19:49Z

[It’s things like this that make me wonder if someone’s slipping hallucinogens into my breakfast cereal.]

Skycow:

A fleet of bio-engineered flying cows that form a line in the sky and fly across America. (And possibly Canada, but the procedure is a little different.)

At a certain time of day, every day, the people are supposed to come out of their house. They stand out in their yard with a glass (a plastic bag in Canada) or two and the cows shoot milk down into the empty glasses.

Of course, there would have to be pilots for the cows, at least at first. They would eventually replace the pilots with a computer backpack for each cow. It would use GPS to aim the udder at its intended target (the glass or bag) and regulate the amount of milk dispensed to each target.

A Series of Unlikely Events

2008-04-21T20:57:18Z

A woman suddenly fell from the sky, crashing onto the sidewalk directly outside the cafe. Neither Clicker or Lighter was startled, and both said in unison “Hey, Lu.”

She sat up, testing her limbs. “I fall from a plane, after being sucked out through a blown open window in the airplane and all I get is a ‘Hey, Lu’?“

“You’re fine aren’t you?” inquired Lighter

“And you still haven’t figured out that lottery thing, now have you?” asked Clicker, with a smirk.

She grumbled as she stood, only a little sore, and walked over to the two guys. “No, I haven’t figured it out yet, the thing’s gotta be rigged. But I’m getting better! How likely do you think it is that one window would fly off of the plane it’s attached to and suck just one passenger out? Huh? Huh?”

“Are you sure it was just you?” asked Lighter as he pointed up into the sky where there was a plane heading down faster than any safe plane should.

Lucky’s eyes widened. “I really need to be more careful with other people’s things.”

Selling Your Passion.

2008-04-21T15:37:20Z

“But we do not sell our wives in the modern age.”

“Oh no, you do vurse, much vurse. You sell your passion.

The man, ‘is passion is creating things. Und ‘e is good vith the numbers, to plan these things. But, instead of making things like ‘e would, und be great und ‘appy. , ‘e takes the job making records for others money.

Vy? Zo to make some ‘imzelf, of course. For he makes tvice as much doing this. But will ‘e ever be ‘appy? No.

Und vut of the voman? Vu gives up ‘er vanderlust to settle down vith a man because ‘e offers her money. She vould like to go, but she stays, und the longer she stays, the more scared she is to leave. Afraid she can no longer survive vandering verever she vill.

Und perhaps she can’t. But she has become imprisoned in a tower made of the very useless stones that she ‘erself has earned.”

The Two Unhappily Married Men

2008-04-21T15:09:28Z

Money is the vurst thing that could ‘ave ‘appened to man, akin to speaking vun langvage und building the Tower of Babel.

Do you realize vut this money allowed?

Before, two men would be unhappily married, admire each other’s vife und merely svitch, a vife for a vife. But money changed this.

For the first man had offered to sell his vife to another man for the price of two cows. So knowing this, the second man refuses the offer und offers the first man two cows, vich he accepts, thinking to make much more money by the use of them.

Und he does, but by the time he returns to the second man, the vife he desires has been killed by his previous vife out of jealousy, so the first man ends up vithout a vife, und only two old cows und useless stones to show for it.

'Appiness

2008-04-21T13:18:43Z

Ven vill these people learn?

Money isn’t everything. Money cannot buy, nor even rent ‘appiness, not true ‘appiness.

What money can buy you is black ‘appiness, fool’s ‘appiness, blood ‘appiness.

The ”’appiness” that comes from knowing you can use those less endowed monetarily for your own amusement.

That is not ‘appiness. It is narcissism, avarice, and envy.

Money can only buy company for thine misery.

Never anything close to ‘appiness.

Fyora's Orphanage 4 (More of My Babies)

2008-04-17T01:33:31Z

Scrumulus J. Caen (6101 – 14116) This is one of my favorite series. It hinges on an old beachcomber who found a pair of shoes embossed with the name of a billionaire who bequeathed his riches to the man who owned his shoes.

Of Angels & Devils (9307 – 14109) This is about a created humanoid, who seeks her creator who is imprisoned. She was imprisoned as well, but escaped and managed to make the dangerous (and illegal) machine necessary to rescue him. It flies, but it’s also only meant for one person because it fuses with the body.

Fyora's Orphanage 3 (My Babies)

2008-04-17T01:29:21Z

These two are my favorites. I’m almost afraid to let anyone else try them.

Lanceus, the Prophet of Kencii (6347 – 8066) This story follows a prophet who, in his visions, lives for some time in other people’s life, until he can figure out what it is he needs to know and go back to tell the people who put their trust in him. Problem is, I don’t know what to have him find out next.

Genesis (19744 – 21225) This is one I’m definitely going to try to keep working on, I really love this story. It’s about a couple, living in the middle of an apocalypse. But it’s not the traditional apocalypse of getting blown up or hit with an asteroid, the asteroid just seriously messes up the tides and floods places just about nightly. But, since there is little or no TV or internet coming out of those places, no one really understands what’s going on, so she has to convince everyone, and see what they can do to work against it, if possible.

Fyora's Orphanage 2 (Mature)

2008-04-17T01:26:52Z

Big Love for Ero – Jukebox Ero (13579 -15228) Inspired by the song “Jukebox Hero,” which was playing in a commercial when I wrote it, this series starts out mature (involving drug use, for one thing) but I had hoped to bring it back to normal once the main character became the Jukebox Hero. {And it’s pronounced E-row.}

The Dancer/The Pondering (7808 -7809) These two are marked mature, and they’re vaguely based on a story that flowed into my mind while listening to Panic at the Disco!’s A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out.

Leather Pants (5987- 8067): A series contributed to by myself and another user. I very much enjoyed this series. It’s about a teenager with an almost unhealthy obsession with leather, that frequently suffers disciplinary consequences as a result

Fyora's Orphanage 1 (Caution: Mostly Teenagers)

2008-04-17T01:23:38Z

Savra (5991 – 6203) : This series was based on a fictional imagination of myself, what I had imagined was happening is she’s going to play a game, where most of the people that play are guys, but it could really go anywhere.

Katu-Nu (8273 – 14112) The point of this series is to take a man from a world where there is no “bad” or “ugly” or anything negative. There are also no walls, either. I had to be in a really ethereal mood to write this, and it’s been a while since I’ve felt that.

Harold & William (15622 – 17680) Inspired by a late-night ad for Gamefly, the object of this series was to take all the “stupid comedy” films and make them from the perspective of snooty/rich/upper-class people. The first one has no relation to a movie, but the second one is “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

Substandard Seating

2008-04-15T19:01:17Z

Daniel sighed as he read the paper. Why had he even bothered? He should’ve known she would respond that way, everyone else did.

Even people who knew his father thought someone was faking something.

He folded the paper haphazardly and set it on the table for his father to read it later. He leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, still wondering what to do.

He fell backwards onto the floor, the wood of the chair’s back splintering around him. “Aw, crap…” He rubbed his back, that would be sore tomorrow…Probably even later today.

He heard the key begin to turn in the door. His father was home.

He was struck by a lightning bolt of realization and grabbed the paper, rushing it back to his room before returning to clean up the broken chair.

His father opened the door, Daniel acted as if it was just another day.

“Hey, champ, how’s your day been?” his father set down his keys and wallet on the counter before looking at Daniel. “Another one broke? Those aren’t very good chairs.”

Sharp & Certain

2008-04-15T18:15:28Z

Dear Conflicted:

Are you pulling my leg? Yanking my chain? Or any other colloquialism involving tugging anything of mine in the direction of yourself?

You are either using me as a sounding board for a new soap opera plot, or you have some serious problems.

My only suggestion, if you actually believe all this to be true, is to visit that pretty white building down the street. You know, the one with the nice people in white coats who give you a funny jacket and pretty candy? They’ll take care of you deary, I promise.

- Mandy

Dazed & Conflicted

2008-04-15T18:07:29Z

Dear Mandy:

Three years ago, my father was in a terrible car accident. He was in a coma for a year, and has suffered amnesia as a result.

On my eighteenth birthday, this past March, my mother revealed that I was actually not my father’s son. I was adopted by him shortly after I was born, which was days before they were married.

But, the worst part of it all, my father does not remember any of it. He thinks he’s my biological father. He has never been so happy as he has since the accident, so neither my mom nor myself have can bear to tell him.

I think he deserves to know, but he also deserves to be happy. What should I do, Mandy? How can I both tell him the truth and preserve his happiness?

- Dazed and Conflicted

Not Much Longer Now

2008-04-08T16:40:23Z

Two months. Two months until her birthday, and hopefully not much more until he was here.

But two months can seem like an eternity, when you’re away from who you really need.

Things would start falling into place soon, she could tell. They were getting closer in minds, soon they would have the comfort of flesh as well.

To be in his arms…

Bliss…

Her mind drifted away into these thoughts. She felt the warm tingly feeling that starts in her chest when she thinks of him and flows outward like a drop of dye in water, until it fills her entirely with…

Happiness.

She knew she could never get tired of him. For her, he is paradise.