Gerr Bear :]'s Stories

the dream: part 43 another dream

2008-08-18T17:49:44Z

that night, i was watching tv, and dosed off into sleep.
i was in the same place, the forrest of the first time i saw Carter in my mind.
“Mandy.” he said smiling at me.
i ran to his embrace, “carter!”
“i miss you, i wish i could be there with you.” he said with sincerity.
“i miss you too.” i said, as my chest got heavy and my eyes wattered.
“please tell me youre okay.”
“im alright.”
“thats good, well i have to go, ill see you soon, i love you.” and before i could respond, he ewas gone, just like that, he disappeared and i was awake.

i was puzzled, was it really him, could it be really him talking? or was my mind just wishing he would come back and say those things?

the dream: part 42 it could all be okay

2008-08-18T17:42:29Z

a few weeks passed by with carter not there, and i was lonely as ever, just went on with my summer “job”, and life.
it would all be okay..i could only hope anyways. With my friends out of town, that left me to be with kat all summer, and that didnt bother me much, although i did miss the friends that were gone.
with school in 3 weeks, my nerves were increasing, i was excited, and i was terrified.
hopefully, it could all be okay.

the dream: part 41 great

2008-07-22T19:31:20Z

“oh, okay. ” i said, calmly.
the thing with me is, whenever something epic happens or something scary or unexpected i am completely calm, it brings me back to when my cousin and i crashed our golfcart, she panicked while i tried to get the key back in a start it.

“listen, i think when i leave, you should just go on with your school life and everything, i dont want to leave, really i dont, but my family and i have to do some things.”
“but what happens if you find someone else? why are you so worried about me?” i asked.
he started to laugh, as i gave him a confused face.
“i wont, trust me, i wont.” he started to laugh again, i didnt understand at all.
“why are you laughing?” i asked.
“nevermind.”
“huh?” i was mad, and upset and an emotional wreck, i could feel my eyes wattery and my chest feeling heavy.
“l-listen carter, i h-have work to do, maybe you should leave.” i said, hardly able to get my words out.
he could tell my feelings
“okay, ill talk to you later.”he said hugging me in a strong embrace

the dream: 40 love

2008-07-22T06:57:05Z

“mand.. listen, i love you, promise me you wont freak out, after this if you change your mind, i completely understand, just dont let this impact your life in any bad way, i would never want that for you, which is why i think youre better off without me.”
“carter, no matter what you tell me, im always here for you, i love you too, just tell me whats going on, maybe i can help, maybe we can get through it together.”
“mand… we, my family and i, we’re….. we’re. vampires.”
i felt my heart beat fast, and slowly started to catch my breathe. this wasnt that big a deal, just that the boy that i fell inlove with sucks blood and lives forever.
“im so sorry, i should have told you sooner, its just, i thought that maybe we woulda drifted by now or you woulda moved on. i didnt think it would matter, until i realized how i felt about you.”
“do you suck peoples blood?” was the question i chose to ask… niice.
“not people, but animal yes. my family and i have have learned a way of life where we dont hurt human.”
:

the dream: 39 safe, or better off

2008-07-22T06:39:21Z

“what ive got going for me?? what does that mean?” i said furiously, then took a deep breath to calm myself down.
“you have a future, and you could make something great of it, and i know you want to.” he said.
“of course i do, but i dont understand what tahts got to do with us.”
“mand, i have feelings for you ive never felt for anyone, and that isn’t the safest thing for us.”
“safe? carter youre not making any sense.”
“mand, i think now i should telll you whats going on.”
“uhm.. okay.”
he grabbed my hand and sat me down on the chair, and took a seat on the desk, just looking me straight in the eye.
“listen,the reason i bolt out before you can see, or my skin is so cold, or why i came so late in the year, or why i know basically anything thats going to happen and can guess what people feel, is.”
he looked me straight in the eye for a pause, and hope of acceptance.
“mand… me and my family, we’re….”
“youre what carter….” i said, grabbing his hand, this wasnt easy for him and i could tell.

the dream: 38 leaving

2008-07-22T04:16:08Z

“huh?” i responded confused.
he saw my confusion, “well.. see.. i have about 1 week left here before i leave for a while, and ill come back soon.”
all that was passing through my mind was WHAT ?!!!? HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME !
“soon? whats soon?” i said, as my voice became more panicked, and my head asking why.
“a few weeks, or so.” he said, trying to use his soothing voice, to calm me down… it didnt work.
“but.. whyyy?” i almost yelled.
he grabbed my hand, “mand, itll be fine, ill be back, maybe you’ll find someone new.”
i hated that statement with my whole heart.
“what?” i said, yanking my hand back.
“mand, youre better off without me.”
another statement i hated.
“better off without you?” i was confused, the past i had with him was too good to be true, and that became clear to me. I tried so hard not to fall hard, act like i dont care and knowing this wouldnt last forever.
“listen, i love you, i really do, but i dont want to ruin what you have going for you.”

the dream: part 37 mr. cheesy lines

2008-06-30T09:19:05Z

’’its totally cool. dont sweat it.”
i couldnt believe how nonchalant all this was coming out, here i am totally stressed out about our future, and i was calm. WHATS WRONG WITH ME !
i think my attitude was taking effect on him.
“ive really missed you.” he said full of melancholy, i could tell his sincerity.
all my questioning and confusion didnt matter anymore, i just wanted to be with him for the time that i had and thats what i would do.
“Ive really missed you too.” i said with a slight smile. that response made a half smile come to his face.
“so hows work?” i asked, “Hope my dad isnt working you too hard.” i giggled.
“naa, not really, its not bad at all.” he smiled, “especially since i get to see you everyday.”
“okay mr. cheesy lines.” i started to laugh, “just messing, that was cute.” i smiled.
he started to laugh too.
“oh by the way,” i added,”im going to be at my moms house for 3 weeks starting monday.”
“oh, uhm, okay. so youre not gonna be here working?”
“nope.”
“well that puts a dent in stuff”

the dream: part 36 chatt

2008-06-30T09:08:48Z

i explained to her how he wasnt gonna be around for long, and how i was afraid of hurt, and basically spilled my full guts, shes always the one you can turn to, to sspill your guts. :]

she gave the same advice as kat, which made chosing who to listen to easier, but made mine and carters chances at getting anywhere less likely.. so much for perfect. ://

as our phone conversation started to dull down to just casual girl chat, there was a knock at the office door.

it was obviously….... someone.( no need in gettin my hopes up)

“come in!” i hollered, didnt feel much liek getting up to open the door (and im not lazy either hahah).

“hey mand.” carter said, walking towards the desk.
“hey carter.”
i stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist and he pulled me into one of his irresistible hugs, that i never wanted to let go of.
“sorry i havent been around much, ive been doing alot of work with your dad, and alot of… stuff, with my family.”
i noticed the pause before stuff, and began to wonder.

the dream: part 35 its like whatever

2008-06-30T09:01:03Z

“Wait! he came to your house!!! WHILE YOUR DAD WAS ASLEEP !! HE SSNUCK INTO YOUR HOUSE !!!!” she was in shock.
“yes kat, yes! dangg.” i started to laugh.
“HOW DID THAT HAPPEN !! how did it happen to you before me,,... maynnn. this isnt fair.” she began to ramble.
“kay, kat, focus here!!”
“oh, yeah, uh, sorry.”

she gave me her clear advice to enjoy what was going on, and since he was going to leave, not to get tooo “inlove” with this kid.

and i agreed…~~unfortunately~~

the next few weeks dragged by, occasionally seeing Carter at work, but my dad always had the kid going.
i was sittin gin the office, when i got ~~really~~ extremely bored. so i decided to call alyse, i had been missing her big time.

the phone rang..
“hullo?”
“ITS THE ONE AND ONLY .. AMAZINGLY AWESOME …. BEANER MANDY !” i began to laught.
“MAND!!! duudee.. i missed you, whats going onn?”
“ehh.. not much, workingg. you?”
NOT MUCH ?! whatabout carterr??”
“hes….around.”
“AROUND? you have so major explaining to do”.....
i really did.

the dream: part 34 K@!

2008-06-30T08:52:20Z

“myself.. duhh dad.” i said in my signature sarcastic tone of voice, he was too tired to think anything of it, so he just walked to his room.

i wondered how long all this would last, a few days, weeks, months, the rest of the summer, a year, the rest of high school. there was no telling of the future, and some part of it was amazingly intriguing while the other part was scaring me more and more each time i thought of it, i couldnt take any more heartbreak.

it was 2 a.m., and i needed to get some stuff off my chest, i knew the people to turn to, Kat, Alyse, Blair or Steph of course. the only one i had the heart to wake up was kat.

RING RING ..
“h-hello?” kat answered, cleary asleep.
“KAT, DUDE , i need to talk to you!’
“Mand, its like… really late, i have summer school tomorrow.”
“i know , i know, sorry sorry, but i need to talk to you!!!”
“UGH! FINE . just kidding, wahts going on?” she was more awake now.

i explained to her the story of my “life” right now, and she was in complete awe.

the dream: part 33 mood killer

2008-06-29T19:38:24Z

“oh really.. well, thats going to be a while from now, so hopefully your mind changes.” he chuckled.
“shut up.” i said playfully, “i will, just watch.” i said smiling.
he just smiled.
“so, how long do you plan to be here before you leave?” i asked.
“a few minutes i guess, or hours. however long.”
i laughed, “i mean, before you move, this cant be permanent.”
Mayn, i really knew how to be a mood killer, here he was. the guy id been dreaming about, literally, and this is how i show him i missed him. GREAT .
” a few years, im not exactly sure.” was his response.
“oh, okay.”
i was wondering what would happen with all this, it was summer and wow, it was weird. i missed my buddies, and all our sleepovers, i was in my own world.
“mandy.” he said trying to get my attention.
“huh?”
“i have to go now, youre dads coming and i have to get back home.” he gave me a quick hug, kiss on the cheek, and was gone before i could blink.
my dad walked in, half asleep, “mandy, what are you doing?, who are you talking to

the dream: part 32 the secret

2008-06-29T09:49:03Z

i dont know how, but the way he looked at me, the intensity, always intimidated me or left me breathless.
“so when are you going to tell me what this huge “secret” is with you and your family?” i asked.
“uhm. i promised id tell you when it was the right time. but thats not now.”
“please carter, im tired of waiting i want to know. ”
”....later, il tell you later.”
“please tell me now…. please, Carter.”
“mandy, youre not ready now. trust me, when youre ready ill tell you, but until then, you have to believe me. okay?”
i was disappointed and he could tell.
he pulled me into another hug, and to lighten the mood he changed the subject.
“so, you like the jonas brothers this much?” he said pointing to my ipod and speakers playing the cd and my closet doors with new posters.
“yes, im going to marry nick jonas one day, dont you know?” i smiled. he chuckled.

the dream: part 31 cow pjs

2008-06-29T09:20:45Z

i was in my room, it was 12 am, i was blasting my jonas brothers cd, but other than that. my house was quiet and dark. untill, there was a knock on my bedroom door, i was in my blue epidemic shirt and my green cow pajama shorts, when i opened the door to see carter there. “OH MY GOSH !” was all i managed to get out, before he put his hand to my mouth. “Geez Mandy, try to wake up your parents?” he walked in.
“CARTER, whaat are you doing here?” i said, with great enthusiasm.
he smiled, “just dropped by to say hi.” he began to laugh.
I didnt think it was too funny, especially if my dad were to walk in the room any moment now.

“what, huh, how.. where…?” i was so confused, how did he get in, where did he get in, why did he come this late?

“there you go with youre incomplete sentences again.”
he laughed.
he pulled me close into a hug, and he held on liek it was our last.
“so how have you been?” he asked.
“ive been good, how have you been?”
“ive been okay.”
he let go of our hug and just studied my face.

the dream: part 30 dinner

2008-06-12T21:48:03Z

“yea, you better, you jerk.” i said, playfully.
“you never fail to shock me.” he said, holding on tight to our hug.
“youre dads coming” he said, pulling away and sitting on the chair clear across the room, and turned on the tv.
my dad walked it, “dinners ready.” he said.

Dinner went smoothly, i think my dad was taking a liking to Carter, until of course he found out me and carter were “involved”, i guess you can say, i wouldnt let that happen though and neither would Carter.

dinner was just about ended, and it was time for carter to leave. We walked him to the door and said our goodbyes.
this really was a good day, i still hadnt figured out what me and carter were, together and that bothered me all night.

the dream: part 29 when?

2008-06-12T21:33:19Z

“carter, theres something i really need to know.” i said, looking at him straight in the eyes.
“alright.” he said moving closer to me ,”what is it?” he asked.
“earlier, when you left, with out me even seeing you leave, or that one day at school..what was that?”
he looked kind of perplexed, and looked as though he didnt know how to say it.
“Mandy, there is alot you need to know about me, but i cant explain it right now, truth is, im not a normal 15 year old.”
“youre 15??” i exclaimed, it seemed that was the least of my worries.
he chuckled, probably at the way i answered.
“yeah, im 15, i got help back, i guess you can say, a when i was younger.”
“ohh, okay.” i responded, ” so when wiill you tell me the rest?”
“when we can be alone, and when i think youre ready to hear it.”
“carter, im ready to hear it now.”
“no youre really not ready.”
i got frustrated with him, and he could tell.
he got my hand, and brought me into a hug.
“ill tell you soon, i promise.”