Disturbed Youth's Stories

Alternate Ending to A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

2008-03-26T02:37:39Z

The Mask is escaping out the window and is running across the frozen wasteland while Tom Sawyer is supporting the head of a dying Alan Quatermain.

“Please don’t die! Please!”

“Stop worrying about me and shoot the man, damnit!”

“Oh, right, i should do that!”

“You think?”

So Tom Sawyer picks up a random gun that just happens to be lying there and takes aim about to shoot the longest shot he has ever taken. He points the gun, pulls the trigger, and misses. But, fortunately, a giant sea lion takes that moment to burst out of the ice and eat a random human. Yah!

“Nice Miss.”

“you’re alive!

“Yeah i was faking, i just wanted to see if you could shoot him.”

“jackass”

Disturbed Youth's Useless Encyclopedia: New Jersey Edition

2008-03-24T21:28:40Z

Entry 41-

New Jersey Law- you can not take a left turn at an intersection with a light

Entry 42-

New Jersey Law- there can be no rust on your car (something to do with not having very many shoulders on their highways)

Entry 43-

There are a lot of trees, hills, mountains, and curvy roads (i was getting dizzy from all the turns, no joke)

Entry 44-

The houses are impressive! i dont think i saw a single smallish house, and their churchs could be considered mansions!

Entry 45-

People really like to hug over there

(btw: i officially got back from my easter trip to New Jersey at 5:06 on Monday, March 24; just thought you’d like to know!)

A poem

2008-03-18T19:25:25Z

Saw you
You saw me
it was like we were ment to be

I talked to you
You talked to me
But did you really look at.

He’s perfect and
I’m not
But for a moment I forgot

I called Him
he called me
That was when it would be gin.

I kissed him
he Kissed me
You know I love him and I know
he loves me

[ditto as the first one]

Written, Spoken, Rumor, or Myth Christen Caps it All

2008-03-18T19:22:31Z

Hi, I’m Christen. Me and my family just moved here. I’m staring in a new TV show. Hally’s Life. today we’re casting Parts. My father’s the director. I can only stay for 1 hour because my agent schedule me for a private singing leson. “Christen! get up here and read this line.” yelled my day. “Coming.” I yelled Back. I ran acrossed the staged. “Here” said my dad. thrusting my scripted in to my palm. “Read the things Highlited.” he incruted me. “This is Docata. She will be reading the part of Marry.” he said jestering to the girl next to him. “Hey Marry did you get the home work last night?”
Marry: “Ya y?”
Hally: “Well I was up all night doing that stupied Book report for Kelly I forgot to do the home work for Marsh.”
Eletra: in my Back Pack
Hally: Your a life savor
Eletra: I Know, You own me big
Hally: I’ll pay you back I’ll do your home work tonight
eletr more than that girl.

[All is in original text; nothing was added, exaggerated, or made up]

Intro to Idiotic Tales by Kale

2008-03-18T19:11:18Z

Okay, I have this really annoying cousin who everyone likes to make fun of. We’re going to call her Kale. Now Kale here likes to think she can do everything better then me. She is, how should i put this, an stuck up bratty Bitch. There that’ll do nicely. And she was just so nice as to prove to me that she could write stories that i would never be able to top. (this includes poems too!) and she was so nice as to give them to me.

Everything in these are as she wrote them. I know i have horrible spellchecking skills but in here there will be none because i’m writing these exactly as she writes them.

So please, read, enjoy, and comment on her Superiority!

Shakespeare Academy: Wake Up Call

2008-03-18T19:05:52Z

i looked up to see Lysander standing over me.
“uh, suuuurre.”
“Thanks!” He said with a lop-sided grin. He sat down and started fiddling with his fork and his “mashed potatoes”. I took his silence as an okay to eat so i picked up my fork and was just about to place the forkful of food in my mouth, when he blurted:
“I need your help to help me ask Hermia to homecoming!”
CLANK ! CRASH! BOOM ! you know all of these are really cool noises, but they weren’t the ones my fork made as it hit my tray. it was more of like a TING ! pathetic little fork.
“You me to do what?”
“Help me ask Hermia to the Homecoming dance.”
he shifted his glance to look at me. It must not have been a pretty sight. I mean, my mouth was open and everything!
“You like Hermia?!?!?” why didnt i know this?

Not Again!

2008-03-18T01:48:13Z

He ushered her into what could only be described as a dungeon.
“Uh, i think you might have taken a wrong turn back at the other hallway.”
“No, this is right. I want to show you something. You just have to promise me one thing.”
“Whaaatt?” she asked suspiciously
“You cannot under any circumstances, freak out on me.”
“Psh! after today? i dont think anything could freak me out anymore.”
“OK”
They turned around a corner, and halted in front of the very last “cell”. Inside, a boy lay on the ground but as soon as he saw them approach, he got up with a flourish and gave a dramatic bow.
“Kamaria, I would like you to meet your twin brother, Romulus.”

The Discussion

2008-03-17T19:50:56Z

“We MUST , We MUST , We MUST !”
“I’m sorry sir, but i just dont see how we are going to do it!”
“Somehow, i dont care how, but we will capture that stuoid Orange Princess of Ninja Slapfu and Stealthiness or whatever her fricken’ name is! We will suceed too!”
“well capturing her friends didnt prove all that well. It took her, like, 5 minutes to get them out.”
“It was 7 okay!”
“Jeez sorry sir, i was stating the obvious.”
“I know but we will capture her!”
“gee, it must be nice living in Neverland, maybe i’ll visit sometime when i get a break from reality.”
“Oh shut up Vanilla Latte!”
“whatever you say boss.”
“good” and with that, the Jealous Prince of Wannabe skillfullness turned and stormed out of the kitchen.

Awesome: a ficlet witchburning tale

2008-03-11T00:49:03Z

I watched as the flames swirled around me. My life put to an end by the very thing i loved the most. Fire. It has always intrigued me with the way it seemed to be alive and yet still managed to be only an object. I struggled against the ropes that help me to the stake, but to no avail.
Mother had always said my strange habits would one way get me in trouble. At the time i thought that she was just trying to get me to stop talking to all the living things in the forest if not to keep from going into the forest at all. But now i see that she meant, truly, that i would be accused of a witch. A witch about to be burned at the stake.
A smoke curled around my face as though caressing away my fears. it lingered there for a moment before dissapating into the air allowing one single tear to slide down my cheek as the flames claimed my body.

The 6:54 IDoAwesomeness UPdate!

2008-03-10T22:55:00Z

Well today:

Sam: created the awsomest ever hand art and locker poster declaring the awesomest day of the year!

Mykaela: drew an awesome picture of Chuck Norris dancing with a giant candle on his head (in honor of his birthday which is today!)

Paul: went crazy as usual and gave us totally random facts that there is a serial killer saint and a patron saint of tortured victims and prostitutes (st. geneisis of rome)

Durb: totally didn’t make us write 38 vocab words; instead allowed us to draw a picure of a sponge (which is awesome!)

Chris: walked his girlfriend to class (awww); and only insulted my twice that i know of! A RECORD !

Me: i didn’t insult a single person! (omg! that has never happened before!)

——

all in honor of the InTeRnAtIoNaL dAy Of AwEsOmEnEsS!

The Awesome Adventure of The Orange Princess of Ninja Stealthiness and Slapfu!

2008-03-10T22:46:11Z

A flash of radioactive tangarine was all the guard saw befofe he was knocked unconcious by an invisible force. The Orange Princess of Ninja Stealthiness and Slapfu stood above the security, shaking her head.
“Pitifully too easy.”
Then creeping along the long corridor behind him, she made hand movements to the people behind her. There 3 others who creeped behind her (those not as queit because as i said, she is The Orange Princess of Ninja Stealthiness and Slapfu) and pulled out long curved swords (a little oldfashioned i know) ready to attack at any moment.
At the end of the hall they came to a door and quickly flattened against the wall waiting for the Princess. She quickly assesed the door, walked back a little ways and did a high spinning kick cracking the door and a the same time banging it off its hinges.
“Told you she’d come for us!”
Two girls stood in the room before them, grinning as they hurried over to The Orange Princess.

Awesomeness contest

2008-03-10T20:47:51Z

Okay, here we go y’all! This is number fifty and a friend told me that i had to make it a contest. Let’s see just how awesome you really are. You contest is going to see who can write the best three part story that is includes the following:

-its fantasy
-it includes three girls: 1 is sensible and quiet; 2 is mildly outspoken and ranodm; and 3 is outrageous and hot temperd
-it includes at least one guy
-it must be humurous

think you can do it? well give all you got and let’s see if you can make the Ice Queen laugh. in the meantime, Tootles!

Awesome: a ficlet creeper

2008-03-10T20:14:00Z

Cross my heart and hope to die

The sound of boots walking towards me broke the silence that was threaded with the mist surrounding everything in sight. The harsh breathing was the only indication that a moment ago the same person who was walking towards me had only moments ago been chasing me as i ran for my life. All for a promise.

Cross my heart and hope to die

He came closer. And closer. Never slowing down or hurrying up, just keeping the same pace. I stood there frozen in time, my life so close to shattering i could already hear it breaking. Why me? Of all the people he had to choose me. To kill me and take my heart. My Heart. The only thing that kept me alive. And he wanted it. He was right behind me now.

A Tale of Awesomeness: a ficlet tragedy

2008-03-10T19:57:54Z

This is Jim. He is awesome.
This is Thomas. He too is awesome.
This is Claudia. She also is pretty awesome.
This is Quagmire. He is just htere but we’ll call him awesome too.
This is Sheen. He is scratching the line.
§
Now we take you on an awesome journey to the town of Florgal, Liechtenstein. Here we join Jim, Thomas, Claudia, Quagmire, and Sheen. Ah, DARN ! Jim just met the garbage food processor and it wasn’t friendly. Ouch! Quagmire just met the garbage disposal, what a way to go! It still isn’t as cool as a food processor though. Fie! Claudia just drowned in a pool of pudding! And Thomas just fell into the Bottomless Pit of Footballs and Struedly! Sheen just ran into a wall. He lived…(sob)

The Long of the Short?

2008-03-07T00:20:04Z

“So…do you want the long or the short life story?”
“uh…short i guess.”
“okay, well around 15 years ago a “young” vampire named Vladimer was traveling the world when he happened to travel to Rome, Italy. There he met a young mortal woman by the name of Rosabell. She had struck Vladimer’s curiosity as soon as he had set his eyes upon her. Her Dark Chocolate hair and her San Fransico Bay colored eyes. She was, for lack of a better word, stunning. After trailing her for a couple days he soon fell in love. A vampire falling in love with a mortal is not unheard of, but is usually never acted upon. He approached her. As in, he actually reacted on his feelings.
“The two were married 3 weeks later. Rosabell never knowing that he was a vampire. For a while they were incadescently happy. Then one day, Rosabell approached Vladimer and annouched she was pregnant. This caused Vladimer to shiver in fear. He knew about the prophecy about the Halfings and he didn’t want that for his child!”