Great Ach's Stories

An odd school

2008-04-17T00:39:03Z

She had come to the school because her mother had said so. Funny way to pick your education, right?
A strange man had come to her house, because there was something important to say to them about Kristi’s superior education. Apparently she had to always keep in mind that some things wouldn’t make sense- but they were for her own good.
She was sent off to the bizarre place in a few day’s time, with her bags packed and ready. As she walked through the hallways people looked at her strangely, but she blew it all off. Doesn’t matter, right?
During her first lesson she learned about the importance of memory. She had to remember, remember… and they were stuck with stupid assignments such as remembering odd color sequences for a week. And then they would be given another one, but told that the first one was highly important too…
Orange. Yellow. White. Green.

Orange. Yellow. White. Green

2008-04-16T06:11:49Z

Orange. Yellow. White. Green.
Orange. Yellow. White. Green.
remember Kristi!
Orange. Yellow. White. Green.
Kristi was sitting alone, on the banks of a river, trying to remember what it was that she was supposed to remember for her next assignment. Funny though, as it wasn’t a usual assignment to have to sit around and memorize colors. Orange. Yellow. White. Green. It helped though, that she had a sort of fondness for them, as each color had it’s own story to tell. Orange. Yellow. White. Green.
Perhaps if Kristi wasn’t stuck in this bizarre school, it wouldn’t have been this way, but as it was, she was stuck, instead of learning arithmetic and things of that sort, learning color sequences. And she didn’t even know why.
They said that memory was essential: Orange. Yellow. White. Green. And that they should be able to remember anything, no matter how long the strip of colors. Therefore: Orange. Yellow. White. Green.
Surely, Kristi wished that it hadn’t had to be this way.

Reply to fake crayon words

2008-04-13T23:08:54Z

Imagine… the maker of those posters, or an advertisement person. They can look at other people’s ideas for adds and turn up their nose… or set out to defeat the person and save all credit of brilliance for themselves.
Just kidding.
Perhaps they do or don’t realize that we all live by those rules… or they don’t and go around being ultra hard to catch criminals! Kidding again.
But anyway.

greatest rofl-er of all time.

2008-04-13T18:57:17Z

“Ah! There you are!”
I turned, and was astonished to find an man who I had never seen before standing behind me.
“Ah! There you are!” He said again. “I want to taaaaaaalk to you!”
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Ah, you don’t know…” he looked sad, and then. “I am the greatest rofl-er of all time!”
“Rofl-er?”
“Rolling-on-the-floor-laughing. Yes.”
“And what do you want?”
“I want you to take over for me! I am dead.”
“You’re… dead?”
“Yeah!”
“And… the greatest rofl-er of all time?”
“Yeah, and now you have to take over for me. Because I am dead.”
“And exactly…why?”
“Because, rofl must not go out of style. In fact, I started the whole thing.”
“Sure..”
“But really! And you can take over for me!”
“Do I want to?”
“Think about the fame and glory! It could be you!” Visions of attending the oscar awards flooded over me.
“Alright! I can do this! Where do I start?”
“Right here,” the ghost pointed to my computer.

Fishing Lessons (64 challenge)

2008-04-13T18:47:35Z

“Wha?” I asked.
“Catch the fish!”
And then I reeled it in! Fun.

And back home!

2008-04-13T18:41:27Z

I knew it was a bad idea when he decided to paint my portrait with Mayonnaise. I mean, what does that mean? Crazy, right? I hate to confuse you, but that’s what happens when you enter the world of Amrean. There are lots and lots of people who want to paint pictures of you using the strangest materials. In Amrean you’re thought of as insane if 1) you don’t own a pet monkey (mine was named Sean) and 2) if you happen to like orange flavored ice cream. Apparently if you are inflicted with either of these bizareities having your picture painted with mayonnaise would fix it. However I wasn’t told that random police officers would start to chase me after they were shown my amazingly painted mayonnaise portrait.
I dashed past a purple mail box and tugged on Sean’s leash and then I saw it, what I had been looking for ever since I got myself stuck in this world. The orange scoop of ice cream! I jumped on top of it and found myself back to where I had come from.
They would get fired but at least life went on for them.

Mirrors are Mirrors

2008-04-13T17:13:47Z

Arie stared at herself. She stared hard. And yet… no matter how hard she stared at that stupid pimple, it wouldn’t go away! Why couldn’t she have control over how she looked, how come it always had to be this way? Mirrors were mirrors, reflections of what was already there. What was a mirror but something else?
She squirted out her last bit of acne remover and rubbed it hard on the pimple, desperately trying to get rid of it. However, it wouldn’t budge. Arie finally settled down the fact that, no matter how much she wanted to get rid of a part of herself, that couldn’t happen by staring at a mirror image of herself. She almost wished that she had never known how she looked in the first place.

As I have told you... "When life gives you lemons-" I should probably stop saying that.

2008-04-13T17:06:24Z

“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade!” I proudly cried, brandishing my new lemonade maker in the air. “I told you that Grandma’s lemons would be put to good use!”
“Yeah, right,” I heard my friends snicker. “And you’re going to spend all your time at this lemonade stand, making lemonade?”
“I sure will!” I replied happily. “All the rich people started out with lemonade stands!”
“Sure they did…” said my little sister from the side lines.
I paid them no matter and continued on building my lemonade stand. I then sat down in it, and waited for the arrival of my billions of customers. It would have helped if we lived somewhere where people actually walked. Which we didn’t. I think that I made two cents.
I remember when my little sister ran by, laughing at me. “Have you made much lemonade?” She taunted. “I know that it’s your favorite saying! You never shut up!” And that was right. I always, always always said that. And now I decided that perhaps lemonade wasn’t the best idea.
The End

A Man in a Cave Says that it Wasn't the First Time.

2008-04-13T16:54:43Z

Charlie saw that the light in the distance was coming from a fire, and that the fire would have to have come from a human being. Relieved that perhaps he would find a way out of here, but embarrassed at the fact that he wasn’t wearing any pants, he continued towards the light. He was still in possession of his underwear, really.
As he continued, it was easy to see a figure of a man sitting by the fire. He appeared to be eating something, shoveling it into his mouth.
Charlie walked towards the man, and for lack of anything else to say, “Hello.”
The man looked startled, and fell backwards a little. “Who are you?” he asked.
“Charlie,” he said, “I was chased in here, and you wouldn’t believe why.”
“Perhaps I would, perhaps I would,” the man replied. Charlie could see that he was aging, perhaps in his sixties.
“I was chased by an ogre?” His voice rose up as if he were asking a question.
“Aha, I see,” the man nodded. “So they have gotten out again.”

Rivers and Storms and Parks

2008-04-13T05:55:31Z

And that was me.
Sitting in a boat on the river is pretty calm and peaceful, right?
Perhaps not the case.
I was in the midst of a storm, my hat wrestling to fall off my head. I fought my tangled hair and struggled to keep a grip on the boat, despite the fact that it was rocking uncontrollably. It was funny, though, because I had thought to come here as a great way to relax after my rather, unfortunate, meeting with that stupid man at the park. He wasn’t even the kind of man that went to parks…
He had been sitting on a bench, coolly observing the people around him. I had stopped at the sight of him, as it was incredibly out of place, and was swept into a long conversation about whether or not it was good to play in the park.
The funny thing was, he just looked at me… and pulled out a very sharp knife.
And here I was- rocking uncontrollably on a boat on a river during a thunder storm.