jarod's Stories

Not That Easy

2007-03-25T04:13:44Z

The sign changed.

“You flipped the switch.”

That was it. Nothing seemed to happen. The world didn’t end. The lights didn’t go out. The sign just changed.

“That was boring,” I thought. Then, without actually thinking, I flipped the switch again.

Once more, the sign changed. Now it had a different warning on it, something far less friendly:

“Oh, no. It’s not going to be that easy.”

Halloween

2007-03-20T04:31:07Z

“There’s always next Halloween,” he typed back.

“True,” she agreed. “And maybe by then they’ll be a little older and my trap door will be working.”

“And then you can have them.”

“Yes,” she smiled wistfully, “And I can enjoy them, as long as no one’s around.”

Spreadsheet, part 6

2007-03-16T19:24:34Z

With the ropes over her shoulders, it only took Parity a few sharp tugs to get the enough slack around her waist to bring her hands up toward her mouth. Bending at her waist and stretching her neck, got her fingers close enough to tug the gag from her mouth. With her mouth freed and the knots close enough, Parity attacked the knot at full force.

However much Spreadsheet might have been a wizard when it came to accounting, he had much to learn about knots. Not, Parity mused, that she was going to complain. Even with the knot coming loose, it was going to be a close shave.

She could hear the slicer or grinder or smasher or whatever it was behind her now. She was close enough that the din of the machine as a whole didn’t drown out the high-pitched whining from behind the rubber flaps (thankfully) obscuring her view of the machines inner workings.

Parity felt the ropes around her wrists go slack. A few twists later, her hands were free. With her feet still bound, Parity reached up and hauled herself to safety.

Spreadsheet, part 5

2007-03-16T00:55:31Z

Parity glared at Spreadsheet, watching helplessly as he threw the switch that activates the track on which she was lying. He gave a small wave, said, “Thank you for you help,” and disappeared into the shadows.

This, as far as Parity was concerned, was fine. Daring escapes were typically trickier with an audience.

Parity started by working her wrists and shoulders as much as the ropes would allow. She needed as much slack in the ropes around her waist as she could get; if she could get the ropes around her shoulders over her shoulders, she just might be able to get enough.

As she worked on the slack, other escape plans half formed in her mind, but were quickly dismissed. There were short barriers on either side of the track which made rolling off he side impossible. There was a blade in her boot, but the way she was bound put it too far from her hands.

If she was going to escape, she had to get her hands free.

Parity looked up reflexively, and gasped. The end of the line was close.

“Hurry it up, Parity!”

Spreadsheet, part 4

2007-03-16T00:32:46Z

Parity grunted as Spreadsheet tightened the rag, effectively ending her side of their conversation. Being gagged was not something she’d choose given an ideal situation, but having Spreadsheet angry enough to silence her barbs meant he might be flustered enough to make a mistake.

“You are correct,” he explained, “this is a packing plant. It is a subsidiary of a larger food conglomerate that I’ve been tracking the last few months. I’m no ordinary villain, I assure you.”

“Nnnhm,” Parity grunted.

“I’ve been buying up stock in this company, working toward getting a large enough holding to be able to throw my weight around at board meetings,” Spreadsheet ranted, “Oh, I was a nothing as an accountant for them, but soon, very soon, I will be so much more.”

“My bank heists have merely been the first step in the larger plan to take over the company that fire me. You, are actually a blessing in a disguise. When bits of Parity show up tomorrow, their stock prices will plummet so low, I’ll be able to buy it all up.”

Spreadsheet, part 3

2007-03-16T00:11:26Z

Spreadsheet frowned at Parity, whose face had taken on something of a blank or bored expression. “I suppose you think if you berate my methods enough, I’ll simply free you, as if inspired by feelings on inadequacy.” Spreadsheet turned and stepped out of Parity’s line of sight.

“I assure you, Parity,” he said, speaking from her perspective as a disembodied voice, “your rant will get you no pardon from me. As a child I was often—”

“Not this,” Parity moaned, “What? Were you made fun of? Did your dad laugh at you because you preferred writing macros over playing football? Whatever it was, I have no intention of shaming you into letting me go.”

Parity shifted, working her wrists carefully and deliberately. “I just figure, we’re in a, what, packing plant or something? At some point you’re going to—”

Spreadsheet stepped closer. He was carrying rag stretched between his hands. “How predictably cliché,” Parity sighed, “I didn’t think I was going to shame you.” Spreadsheet stepped closer to Parity. “I wantenf—”

Spreadsheet, part 2

2007-03-15T23:58:28Z

Parity shifted, trying to look a bit more helpless that she felt. Spreadsheet stepped closer to her, smiling as he approached his captive.

“Yes,” Parity nodded, “I’m awake. If I’d known I’d be waking up to you, I probably would have slept a bit longer.”

Spreadsheet smiled a thin smile. “Very cute,” he replied, “Don’t worry too much, you’ll be sleeping a long, deep sleep soon enough.”

“Oh,” Parity brightened, “I’ve seen this one before.” She coughed a bit, lowering her voice to something more masculine, “Now that I have you, my dear, you’ll never escape.” Parity paused for a moment and fluttered her eyes, then in a squeaky drawl she continued, “Oh, help me! Someone save me!”

After a bit more faux pleading, she looked at Spreadsheet and rolled her eyes. “Can we get this over with already? Explain the trap, start it up, and let me escape so I can catch you. I’ve got a date tonight, and I don’t want to cancel on him again because someone, like you, has seen to many cartoons.” Spreadsheet stared blankly. “Ok?”

Spreadsheet, part 1

2007-03-15T23:50:22Z

As Parity began to awaken from the forced unconsciousness caused by Spreadsheet’s synaptic randomizing function, she quickly realized two very important facts:

1. She was tied down to something, and

2. Knowing the villain, that probably meant she was in trouble.

Parity kept as still as she could, hoping not to alert Spreadsheet that she was awake, as she began to explore her bonds. Over all her trussing wasn’t very unique or too fancy. Her wrists were tied together in front of her stomach. Several loops of rope went around her waist and shoulders keeping them pinned there. A bit of shuffling her legs let her know that her ankles were bound as well.

There were no knots within reach of her gloved fingers, but she could feel one wedged between her wrists. The rope around her waist felt like it had enough slack that she could get the knot up to her teeth with a bit of work. She was pretty sure she could get free.

The rest depended on Spreadsheet’s plan.

Parity let out a small moan.

“Ah good, you’re awake.”