snakepandafox<3's Stories

Casey Sandoval Confusion

2008-07-31T00:03:45Z

He knows every one of my deepest darkest secrets. He knows my bad side just as well as my good side. He loves them both. I can feel every emotion he feels. When he is sad, I am sad. I can tell if he’s sad or confused and I usually know why. He talks to me every few hours and always comes to me when he needs help. I come to him also. He’s extremely possesive of me and we always know what’s going on in eachother’s minds. He is gay, but more than once he has told me he thinks he likes me and then says he was just confused. I don’t know how I love him. But I do love him.

USED

2008-07-18T23:26:09Z

used
tattered
broken.
all they want is my body.
they say they love me but they only love my face.
they all just want to fuck and leave. They get as much as they can out of me and dump me.
Why can’t anyone love me for who i am and not wat i will do? all i know is i am done.
next guy that wants it has to work a little harder. asking wont cut it anymore.
But i know that it’s not going to work out like that.
i always make the same mistakes over and over again.
i will never find love becuase i will never learn.

Slowly Dying

2008-07-10T01:14:53Z

hello
hello
why wont you ansewer?
no one is on the other line.
no one can hear me.
whenever i think of you i want to tear my own eyes out.
i cant think about you ever again.
beginning to lose sight of your face.
take me away from my thoughts and hold me forever.
please some one
because i’m slowly dying on the other end.
i cant breathe
sitting alone in this freezing place
waiting for you to come back
and warm me
shake me out of this miserey
close my eyes and try to remember you
then the knives rip apart my insides
black mascara bleeds all over my wet face
some one tell me that it will be okay.
dont just say youre sorry.
help me
because time isnt healing my wounds
and it only gets worse over the years.
so for now
i’ll just stay here and pray that i will see you again.

Death

2008-06-17T23:19:36Z

After being awakened by her sister’s screaming, she jumped out of bed, and into the hallway where she looks down the stairs and sees her father lying at the bottem, unconcious, and her sister hovering over him screaming “Wake up daddy! Wake up!” She froze. Then rushed down the stairs to call 911. He didn’t wake up, just layed there until the ambullince came. The picked her father up and wheeled him out of the house and drove to the hospital. At a young age she witnessed her father in the hospital for 10 days, then he died the day after her 11th birthday. It’s been almost three years now….

Do Not Commit Sucicide

2008-06-16T04:23:41Z

Trapped,
trapped forever behind these city walls.
Not more than 500 people will know your name or face, you will never grow up, you’ll never grow out and become famous to the world, you will never do anything great. So what’s the point of living if that is the life that you shall lead? I’ll tell you, in one simple word. Family. Friends and lovers will come and go, but family will never go away, never in a million years. If you forsake them, that’s unfair, after all the uncoditional love they gave you, they may say hurtful things but did not mean it at all, and they always said sorry. Family is the best thing you could have and if you let them down like that, then you should burn in hell. Becuase that was selfish, and with family, you are never selfish. Never do damage like that to your family. You can do something great

Wishful Thinking...

2008-06-13T23:34:46Z

“And I can’t make it on my own, because my heart is in Ohio. So cut my wrists and black my eyes, so I can fall asleep tonight, or die. Because you killed me.” The lyrics she heard while she was sitting at her computer on that hot hot summer day listening to Hawthorne Hights on limewire, she was thinking about him of course. Dreaming about the day he will ask her out. She can’t be sure he will, he’s not sure he will either. Wishful thinking though. So many people say, “What’s not to like?” Well she doesn’t know, maybe it’s the fact he likes anohter girl that he doesn’t have a chance with and he knows it, but of course that girl still teases him. Poor guy… hopefully he will see that she like him, and that he has a chance with her, the emo girl that listens to Hawthorne Hights and has absurd day dreams.

random song lyrics :)

2008-06-07T18:20:55Z

Eyeliner is spiffy. (scotty vanity)
Stop my breathing and slit my throat. (emo song)
Can you steak my heart? (mcr)
We’re gonna go full throtal like a super model. (scotty)
I wanna do your make up. (scotty)
Now I can’t breath turn my insides out and smother me. (the used)
Hello Kitty hair baretts and lime green fish nets. (scotty)
She said don’t let it go to your head,
boys like you are a dime a dozen. (taking back sunday)
If you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath I’d apaolgize for bleeding on your shirt. (tbs)
I’m a wishful thinker with the worst intentions. (tbs)
I need the song started over, your crying made me miss my favorite part. (saosin) best song ever plays pretty for baby
Dark blue dark blue have you ever been alone in a crowded room while i’m here with you? (jack’s mannequin) pretty
touch down turn around i never see you around anywhere or anymore, you are what i’m looking for. (hellogoodbye)
catholic school, as vicious as romen rull. (death cab for cutie)

Dagger

2008-06-02T02:36:10Z

Whenever I see them together, it feels like a dagger is cutting into my heart,
deeper,
deeper.
And sometimes the pain is too much to bear. I want the both of them to be happy, mostly him.
But why can’t he be happy with me instead? Why not me, am I not;
pretty enough,
smart enough,
cool enough,
calm enough,
nice enough,
fun enough
nonfreakish enough,
skinny enough?
I guess I’ll never really know, all I can do is move along like I always do and find some one else.

Summer Lovin'

2008-05-27T03:55:14Z

This summer, I think I’d like to have a romance, not one like I had last summer, that was stupid. I want a REAL romance, I have eligible people to have them with. First there’s the nice boy, Nate, who I’ve gone to school with for years and we are going to highschool together, so it could carry on into highschool, or we could break up before summer ends and then it would be akward because we have the same friends, that isn’t good. Then there’s the older out of town boy who really likes me, Tony. He’s drop dead gorgeous and he really likes me, but I DO NOT want another long distance relationship unless I live with my aunt for the summer, he lives where she does. And plus what if it gets serious and then I have to go back to school, that would suck. So both of them are out. That leaves Jason, my neighbor that I’ve known since I was born. He is great, but won’t say anything to me, he just looks at me with big brown curious eyes, the only thing in the way is my mom and the age difference. Well, my mom.

There's Always Highschool

2008-05-27T03:34:51Z

I see him looking at me like he wants me,
then when I talk to him, he plays it cool like we are just friends. Flirty. Laughs at every move I make, what the hell is so funny about my actions? Does he think I’m cute or is he laughing at me? If only we had a closer relationship, I would be able to know these things, and when I get too close and try to find them out he shoots me down, I can’t have that agian. How can I get through this kid’s head? Oh well, it’s too late to try now, it’s the end of the year and he’s probally not going to stay here this summer, I should forget about it now. There’s always highschool, maybe he’ll mature.

Obsessive Boy Next Door

2008-05-23T21:49:34Z

That boy next door is extremely obsessive,
and quite interesting. He skates in front of my house for hours every day, when I go out there, he looks at me. Sometimes he shoots me a scathing glace, other times curious, but most of the time with a blank expresion that I can’t read. He never says anything to me, no matter how close we are, just looks at me. He doesn’t look at my body like most boys, but he looks at my face and my eyes. When he isn’t looking at me I stare at his flawless face and red brown hair. Why won’t this boy get out of my head?

Picking The Petals Off A Rose

2008-05-22T23:55:27Z

Like picking the petals off a rose,
he picks off the few layers of my heart.
And he doesn’t know the damage that he’s doing to me.
He does it without thinking,
he stares at me with large, empty, dark eyes.
They grow soft when he sees me upset, and hard when he’s angry with me.
But every other time they are cold and lifeless.
He is cold and lifeless, if I live any longer in his icey heart, I will freeze.
He isn’t good for me and that just makes me want him more.
When he held me so close to his unhumanly still body,
I felt like I finaly fit and I never wanted to let go,
but I know that I have to let go,
but the thing is
I don’t want to let go.

Changing Your Mind

2008-05-21T23:30:49Z

But, maybe I like boomarangs,
it’s always a good thing to have when you change your mind.
The only problem is, I don’t know if I’ve changed my mind completely or I just want what we had again. What if he’s moved on. It’s a possiblilty, I did, well at least for a while…
Well the only thing to do is find out if he still loves me and hope for the positive ansewer, if he does, then I’ll have to clear my head and tell him that I still love him, it won’t be easy
since I’m the one who called it off, it was his fault though.
The only thing is, I don’t know if I can clear my head,
and I’m scared he’ll do what he did to me last time,
that hurt.

Changing Your Mind

2008-05-21T23:30:47Z

He's MINE!

2008-05-17T02:07:28Z

He’s so perfect, so flawless, and he’s all her’s.
How could that happen to some one like her, that’s my story bitch, and you can’t take it away. He was supposed to be mine and fo course as soon as I like him, so does every other girl. Love truely is a battlefield, but I have the biggest guns and the best skills, I’m gonna win, and they know it.