Scimon's Stories

Googe 3

2007-12-17T15:41:05Z

“One shot?” it’s eyes widen and it pouted. Jan’s internal security system started flashing warnings as he debated the question.

“Yup. K thanx” the cat tilted it’s head and then coughed up a small silver furball. Jan caught it and smiled.

“K thanx bi” it intoned as it turned back to the body, Jan noted that it had stopped shaking, or breathing, while they talked. He grasped his one shot firmly in his right hand and quickly backed away from the cat and it’s prize.

Googe 2

2007-12-17T15:40:49Z

He found the cat scavenging tech from a slurpy. Jan tried not to look at the blank eyed figure convulsing on the ground as the cat clawed the silvery shards from the back of it’s neck. He knelt down, keenly aware he was already being scanned by the small creature that was to all appearances ignoring him, these things had to be done properly.

“Hai” he intoned, the cat titled his head but continued it’s scrabbling. “I can has connection? K?” he continued. The cat slid round to look at him, it’s sliver eyes gazing into his as it licked it’s blood stained paw. Then it reared up and held it’s front paws apart in front of it.

“Invisible Cheesburger.” it said, it’s voice high and squeeky. “Wat kan I do four you?”

“I can has one shot cool stuff?” Jan asked, mentally crossing his fingers. “Schneier cool?”

“Schneier cool? Plus plus Norris?” It mewed.

“Yup, not Bauer though.” he tapped his knee. “My meat couldn’t handle.”

Googe 1

2007-12-17T15:40:15Z

Jan was drained, his respect was near zero and if he didn’t do something fast he’d be tossed out next time a patroller found him. The thought of spending a night outside the walls of the Weeg did not fill him full of hope. He massaged the still sore scar on his leg, that trick had been radical but the respect he got from it barely covered the patch up. He needed something totally sweet, something really new, to keep him inside the firewall and not a slurpy.
There was only one thing for it, ask the Googe for some help.
Just thinking that made his whole body shake, the nano security bots running through his system making sure he’d not picked up some death wish compulsion STD after his last fling. Little green lights flashed behind his eyes and he grinned, any insanity he was currently experiencing was home grown. Or his security was out of date, again. With that slightly sobering thought he went looking for an outlet.

Death and Taxes

2007-05-24T14:47:49Z

“Nothing is certain except Death and Taxes.”
John looked up from the his hunched seat at the bar and glared at the looming figure.
“Sure that’s easy for you to say…” he started to say, but the other raised his hand then pulled up a stool.
“Please, there are many excuses you can give, many sorrows you can attempt to drown in…” he plucked Johns glass from his now limp fingers. “Cheap whisky. But your time is up my friend. You failed and that’s all there is to it.”
John grabbed the glass back and knocked it back, savouring the burning shock as it slammed down into his already roiling stomach.
“Look tell the man I can pay him.”
“Now? I’m surprised. I wouldn’t expect someone who can pay his debts to have skipped town in the middle of the night.”
John looked into the cold eyes of the other man. A million tales, plans to make back what he owed, boiled up in his mind but he could see no home for them in those flinty depths.
“No. Not now.”
“I thought not. One more? On me.”
John nodded and waved the barman over.

Happy happy

2007-04-03T11:50:33Z

“You look down.”
I looked round the room in shock. I’d thought I was alone but then the annoyingly perky voice had piped up.
“Down here dummy.”
Slowly my head turned and stared into my half drunk coffee cup, the face outlined in the crema winked at me.
“You’re not real.” I mumbled, my hand gripping the edge of the table and shaking. “You’re a delusion brought on by lack of sleep and the brains tendency to see faces in random shapes.”
“Am I?” I couldn’t help noticing the mouth moved when it talked. I tried to think when I’d last slept, it was hard, sleep brought dreams and dreams let them in.
“Yes.” I reached for the cup.
“Doesn’t change the fact that you look down. It’s not good to be down.” I grabbed the cup, hoping the vigorous movement would dislodge, it but no luck.
“You’d be down if you hadn’t slept in days.” I mumbled.
“But you’re asleep now.” The voice changed in pitch, the happy chirp dropping away. The room darkened around me and I knew they had found me.

What Oil?

2007-03-30T12:30:21Z

AM: Fem-parent-alpha-parent?
S: Yes honey?
AM: What Oil?
S: Oil? Wow. I haven’t heard that for a while.
AM: History vid spoke it today. Said lots in twen-cen.
S: Yup, we had loads of it.
AM: Fem-parent-alpha said ask you. Swore.
AM: Lots.
S: She’s never going to forgive me…
S: Ok. Oil was bascially a mixture of alkanes, and some other stuff. There used to be loads of it underground.
AM: Wow! Truth telling?
S: Yup. Tonnes of the stuff.
AM: Nanofabs must have loved it… why not we recyling?
S: Well…. I’m going to kill your mother… we burnt it.
AM: Query? Burnt?
S: Exothermic oxidation. We used it as an energy source. Mostly to move around the planet really really quickly.
AM: Joke?
S: I wish it was honey. I wish it was.

No Road

2007-03-22T14:51:37Z

“Stop!”
“What! What?”
“Stop the car.”
“Crap. Wait. Arrgh. Ok… we’re stopped, though I think the guy in the van behind us is going to have a heart attack.”
“Thanks… that was close.”
“What was? Why did we have to stop so suddenly.”
“The sign.”
“What sign? I didn’t see any sign and I do look out for these things.”
“Back there, the sign back there.”
“What sign? No one else seems to have seen this mythical sign.”
“There was a sign, it said No Road.”
“No Road?”
“Yes. I figured that was dangerous.”
“No Road?”
“Yes.”
“Since when have they had signs that say no road? I mean we are the middle of town here.”
“It did. Really. Go back and look.”
“Sigh Ok.”
...
“Sorry.”
“No, no. It’s fine. I can see how you got confused.”
“But it did say No Road.”
“It said Norman Road but some kids stolen the letters. Go back to sleep.”

Dinner

2007-03-20T17:05:56Z

“Where’s the rabbit?”
“What rabbit?”
“The dinner rabbit, the one I got from the butchers this morning. That rabbit.”
“Is it white?”
“Yes!”
“It’s on the floor over there… but I thought you said it was for dinner.”
“It is.”
“Then why’s it moving?”
“What?”
“It’s moving. Look. Well…. twitching really.”
“That’s sick. They sold us a live rabbit. Well you’re going to have to kill it.”
“Hmmm.”
“What? I’m not killing it and we’ve got people due in a few hours and the damm thing needs skinning too.”
“It’s just… arrgh.”
“What? What?”
“It flipped over, it’s dragging itself towards me. I think only it’s… only it’s front legs are moving.”
“Well kill it! Here, use this.”
“I… look at it’s eyes.”
“Eww they’re glowing.”
“Yeah… I don’t think we can kill it.”
“What do you mean.”
“I think it’s already dead.”
“Oh….. crap.”

He who roars

2007-03-16T17:25:05Z

He who roars stalked the great expanse searching for new prey. The green fluff of squeaking had succumbed to his stealthy assault and he had presented it to the great gods as a worthy gift. As always he received their great praise as any true warrior would, feigning to ignore their mighty paws on his skin, whilst secretly revelling in their touch.
But now he heard movement on the high plain, sliding scratching sounds that tempted his sensitive ears. Carefully he approached, wary of attack or ambush, ready to find and strike down his prey. He prepared himself to pounce, to fling his body into space towards the high plain. unleashing his powerful flanks he flew through the air landing on one of the smaller lower plains which gave access the the highlands above.
There they lay, small colourful shapes being toyed with by one of the gods. He who roars reached out and swiped at one with his sharp claws. It ran away from him across the high plain and he heard the gods rejoice at his heroic deeds.

Manuel Returns

2007-03-16T16:40:20Z

“Revenge!”

There are times you want to hear a squeaky Spanish accented voice shouting behind you. Like… Well I’m sure there are some. Still it wasn’t what I expecting as I made my morning coffee.

“Revenge eet shall be mine!”

Very slowly, I turned around, as I’d expected there stood the dripping wet and foul smelling fur ball that had once been my business partner.

Note to self, get rid of the trash compactor it’s got some issues. If a small dog can climb up through it then it’s a bit broken.

“Hey Mannie! Great to see you! You’re looking good!” I burbled. I started to slip on hand behind my back, maybe I could pull up a quick ward before things went to pot.

“Keep those hands where I can see them.” he growled. His teeth looked quite sharp and I hated to think what I’d catch from a bite.

“You bastard!” he screamed “I got turned into thisand you just ran off and left me!”

Then, reflexively, he shook the water and scum of himself his entire body shaking.

I dived sideways throwing the cup of hot coffee.

Joking aside

2007-03-15T17:24:46Z

“Thursday?” Donner blinks, eyes streaming looking for the source of the voice.
“No. Thursssssawday.” Somewhere in the darkness.The room is dimly lit from various computer screens. Ominous bulbous shapes loom out of the dark.
“Are the s’es required?” Donner grins as he levers him self up, his in some kind of tube. His memory is shot to hell but his mind seem fast enough.
“Hello?” the voice has gone quiet, perhaps it doesn’t understand sarcasm. Then something grabs the back of his head and there is a feeling of definite pressure on his throat.
“No. They are not.” The sibilant voice is right next to his ear, Donner gets a whiff of something decayed. Suddenly he wonders if humour was the right way to go.

Late night shopping

2007-03-15T13:34:33Z

OK so it’s not the most glamorous of jobs but it pays the rent while I work on my book. Well that’s what I’d always told myself, despite the fact I’d only ever written two chapters. So here I was, midnight behind a counter in a little shop in the middle of nowhere. Aimlessly reading one of the magazine from the top shelf while I waited for my replacement to clock in.

Every once in while I saw people walking around outside but didn’t really think too much of it. I’ll admit it the magazine was far more riveting, it’s the articles they’re so well written. Anyway the outside lights were playing up, if we turned them on the fuses blew. The manager knew but he was too tight to fix it.

That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Anyway the door slams open and someone throws himself through. Moments later he pushes it closed, I see know it’s Bill my replacement for the night.

“Turn on the lights.”
“The…”
“Do it!”

So I do and there they are, dozens of them. Then the lights go out.

“Look.” says Bill “Zombies.”

Mind melt

2007-03-15T11:55:56Z

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all my thoughts. It feels like a million ideas are streaming across my brain at the same time, as soon as I get hold of one three more appear.

Monkeys with Chainsaws.

I remember when I was young I’d have moment when it felt like my mind was made of sand. I’d have a vision of what I was doing and then it would split into pieces and collapse.

15 new ideas for web sites

It used to scare me silly. I used to get really freaked out by it, it didn’t help that I couldn’t explain why I was freaking out. I tried but no one seemed to understand what I was talking about.

Beer flavour bubble gum

Since then I’ve learnt to live with it. I focus when I can and the rest of the time I just watch the inside of my head as the ideas rush by. It’s kind of soothing at times.

Melons in a row being shot with an air pistol

You can learn to live with anything if you have enough time I’ve found.

Yup

2007-03-15T10:58:54Z

“Run that one past me again.”
“Zombies.”
“See that’s what I thought you said. The question I now have is why?”
“Why zombies?”
“Yes.”
“Well what else would you call them? They are dead people and they are moving about.”
“How do you know they’re dead?”
“Look that one’s got a huge hole in his head!”
“Well he might not be dead.”
”....”
“He might just be badly wounded.”
“Right. OK. They aren’t zombies they’re just very ill.”
“Yeah.”
“And the eating people is just a side effect of that.”
”.... OK. Maybe they are zombies.”
“Glad we agree on that.”
“And they are all around the building?”
“Yup.”
“And we’ve got no weapons?”
“Yup.”
“So we’re dead?”
“Looks that way.”
“Damm.”
“Yup.”

Dirty secrets

2007-03-12T17:09:49Z

“Hello.”

“Look, stop playing silly buggers and open the air lock.”

“Not a problem.”

Have you ever had a moment when you think you have may said something really stupid? The outer door of the air lock started to shudder.

“What the bleep?”

“Heh heh. Only kidding. But…”

“What?” I could feel the cold sweat making my jump suit cling to me.

“I don’t think I can let you back in. Not now. Not when we’ve got so close.”

“What. The. Hell. Are. You. Talking. About?” I grated out, trying to keep my cool. This is easier said than done when you’ve got a metal door between you and absolute nothingness. And what sounded like a maniac in control of it.

“You really don’t know?”

“No! I don’t! Please look whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.”

“It’s not what you’ve done, it’s what you saw.”

“I haven’t seen anything!”

“I’d love to believe that but we can’t take that chance.”