thebetweenspace's Stories

Risky Biscuits

2008-07-22T05:20:59Z

As Jameson exited jail, Paul smirked. “How’s life in the slammer, Risky Biscuits? Please tell me you were violated.”

Jameson hadn’t been violated exactly, but he was not in the greatest of moods. Moments earlier, Officer Milo and Sassy pretty much blackmailed him into seeing Becca again.

“I know my rights,” he said. “And I’m not talking to you until I see my attorney.”

“I can see the future kid,” Officer Milo said. “And this works out in one of two ways: either you agree to our terms and walk, or you take your chances here with Bubba and Blue.”

“Come on, Jamey,” Sassy pleaded. “Can’t we start working toward the same goal? I mean, 24 hours ago you were ripe for Becca, has that much really changed?”

“Yes, it really has.”

“Ok, word on the street is your gal pal has consented to an arranged marriage,” Sassy played her trump card, hoping to plant a seed of doubt. “She’s hopping on a plane right now.“

“I’ll do it,” he said, but only because he would do anything to get to the airport. Anything.

A Favor With Strings Attached

2008-07-10T04:51:29Z

Sassy loved being the center of attention. If the world didn’t revolve around her, she simply didn’t exist. Unless, of course, Becca was involved. Becca was her lifeline, the glue that kept her existence airtight and on time. So it’s a very good thing Sassy didn’t answer her phone when Becca called nine times, while she and Paul were in the midst of foreplay.

If Sassy had known that Jameson had crushed her Becca like a spider, she’d have never been willing to be his advocate. At the station, she asked for Officer Milo. When he didn’t show up quick enough, she demanded to speak to the Chief.

Officer Milo appeared, instantaneously.

“Did your wife like the ‘special thing’ I mentioned?” Sassy asked.

“She loved it! In fact, she can’t wait ‘till my shift is over. You have singlehandedly improved my love life. Now, what is this favor you need?”

“Well, it’s a bit tricky. I need you to drop the charges on my pal Jameson, but only if he agrees to dropping Prandi and getting with Becca.”

You Have The Right To Remain Silent

2008-07-10T01:03:15Z

The adrenaline dying down, a look of recognition emerged on Officer Milo’s face. “Hey, you’re the kid I pulled over last night.”

Hope danced in Jameson’s eyes. Maybe he could talk his way out of this. “Yes, officer. You were more than understanding last night and I think- “

Sometimes hope isn’t a very good dancer and she steps on your feet just when you need her most. “Save your sob story for the judge,” Officer Milo said, slamming the door. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.“

“But if you take me to jail, I might never see her again.”

“Civilians,” Officer Milo sighed, rolling his eyes and a cigarette. “Always trying to pull one over on Johnny Law. We’re out there busting our butts day in and day out to keep these streets safe and does anyone ever say, ‘Thank you, officer. Or ‘You look very nice today in your uniform.’ No, all we get is sob stories and excuses. Answer me one question: do I look like an idiot?“

Jameson bit his lip, exercising his right to remain silent.

Every Single Time

2008-07-09T18:24:19Z

Out of town for the next month! Jameson almost jumped out of his skin! He couldn’t believe his ears. They were obviously not functioning properly. He willed himself to dial her number again and again, but received the same stunning news every single time.

Prandi had skipped town without so much as a word. She seemed to overreact a little bit when he mentioned Sassy’s revelation to her, but Jameson thought she was just a little jealous, not upset enough to leave town without saying goodbye to him.

Why was I so stupid? Why did I tell her Sassy wanted me to get back together with Becca?

Jameson ran to his Vespa and shot down the street, hoping to get to Prandi’s dorm before she left town.

Maybe she’s still packing.

When he heard the siren, he pulled over and slammed his helmet on the ground in frustration.

Turns out some police officers take that as a sign of aggression.

Before Jameson had time to apologize, an exuberant Officer Milo had unsheathed Lu and prepared her for her maiden voyage.

I Swear

2008-07-09T03:42:13Z

Becca was frazzled to say the least. For one thing, she didn’t have a ride home. And for another, Jameson didn’t love her, but she figured she could repress that for a while.

About the time Jameson’s heart skipped a couple beats, Becca pulled a slightly tattered business card from her purse.

“Hello.”

“Can I speak to The Great Karl?“

“Hello, pretty lady,” Karl said. “Are you ready to come work for me?”

Becca hesitated for a moment, but she just couldn’t resist. She’d always wanted to know how magicians sawed women in half. If I learn nothing else, Becca told herself, I will figure out that sweet mystery.

“Yes,” Becca said. “But under a few conditions.”

“Okay,” Karl said, willing to concede to just about anything. “I think we can work something out, sweetheart. Why don’t you meet me at the Houdini Bar and we’ll go from there?”

“I’ll be there in about an hour. Just promise me, you’ll never break my heart.”

“I swear,” Karl just about slobbered. That was a promise he’d never break.

The Androgynous Prince

2008-07-09T02:50:16Z

I deflected Skyler’s question by asking a question of my own. A little tactic I learned from a latino nomad named Jesus. Truth be told, Lisa and I made several stops before returning to the present. Jesus was a perfect gentleman, but Pedro, well, that was a different story altogether. “I think the better question is where are we gonna go?”

“New Year’s Eve right before Y2K , bro. We have got to give the millennium a proper send off.”

That is when rule #2 first captured our attention.

How could I have forgotten that my friend died prematurely in a car crash in the summer of 1999? Needless to say, what was left of his charred bones materialized in the time machine next to us on the last day of 1999 just before Frank and I pretended not to watch Lisa have animalistic sex with Prince.

Never saw that coming either.

I guess androgynous doesn’t equal gay, exactly. I have learned my lesson, however. We won’t go anywhere near a Marilyn Manson concert in the past or future. I can guarantee you that.

Bygones

2008-07-09T02:09:59Z

Contrary to popular belief, even though Jameson had only one thing on his mind, it wasn’t sex.

It was Prandi.

The more Becca prattled on, trying to talk herself out of the jam, the more Jameson wished he was somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Becca grimaced. “I didn’t mean to imply that Paul and I have explored each other further sexually than you and I have… ” She bit her lip, nervously, starting over. “That doesn’t sound right. What I meant was second base isn’t that far beyond first base, is it? I mean, really. He hasn’t seen me naked.”

Becca groaned, “Let me start over. I really like you, Jameson. And I know you like me too. Who are we kidding? We were made for each other. Can’t we just let bygones be bygones and give this thing a real shot?”

Becca clearly expected to be swept off her feet with a kiss from her very own Prince Charming, but that didn’t happen.

Jameson stared at her, his sad blue pools piercing a hole in her soul and said, “Look, Becca. I just don’t see this working out.”

Note To Self

2008-07-09T00:37:43Z

Becca’s sudden impulse to hug Jameson had absolutely nothing to do with noticing Prandi standing on the other side of the parking lot looking positively befuddled. Really. Well, maybe it had a little to do with it.

Becca ushered Jameson inside, wondering if Sassy had set up that chance encounter.

As Becca sat down next to Jameson, her mind was racing. She almost felt like she was returning to the scene of a crime. “Maybe the third time’s the charm.”

“What’s that?” Jameson said, slightly distracted.

“On our first date, we were too drunk to get past first base. On our second date, we ended up going home with other people. So, maybe the third time’s the charm.”

“Paul is a charmer, isn’t he?”

“Excuse me.”

“Look, he told me everything. I just have to know, how could you sleep with him if you had any feelings for me?“

“I didn’t sleep with him. Is that what he told you? We were too drunk to get past second base.”

Note to self: Becca thought. Choose words more carefully in the future.

Wanna Go For A Ride?

2008-07-08T22:28:30Z

“Wanna go for a ride?” Jameson asked, his mind instantly supplying an image of a screaming Billy Corgan. “Maybe talk about last night.”

“Let me get my jacket,” Becca said, returning a few seconds later, wondering exactly how Sassy was able to make Jameson magically appear at her door. “Sassy didn’t threaten to kill your hamster, did she?”

“Not exactly,” Jameson said, climbing onto his Vespa.

“But she did threaten you?” Becca asked, getting on behind him.

“Come on, this is Sassy we’re talking about. Why should it matter anyway?”

“Just wanted to know if you were here under compulsion or if maybe you wanted to be here.”

“A little of both.”

When Becca wrapped her arms around him, he couldn’t help but think of Prandi and how exhilarated he felt when she rode with him. But he felt like he owed it to Prandi to get everything out in the open with Becca. As long as there were doubts, how could he give Prandi everything he had?

“Penny for your thoughts,” Becca said, as Jameson parked in front of Chili’s.

Show It To Me

2008-07-08T14:31:00Z

At the risk of sounding crazy, I explained my time problem to Frank. After he stopped rolling around on the floor laughing, he said, “Show it to me.”

I didn’t know whether he was talking about my bobcat or the time machine, so I showed him the time machine.

“I was expecting it to be bigger,” Frank said.

“That’s what she said,” Skyler said, laughing at his own joke.

“How did you get here?” I asked.

“Time machine, of course,” Skyler cracked. “Doc Brown just dropped me off in his DeLorian.”

“Guys, I’m not joking. This is a time machine and I’ll prove it. I’ll travel one day into the future, grab the paper and be back before you can say Biff Tannon.”

I punched in coordinates and traveled through time completely unaware that the time machine wanted me to face my past again.

It’s Groundhog Day! I thought to myself as Lisa and Val approached.

“What’s that?” Lisa asked.

“It’s a time machine. Wanna ride?”

Skyler and Frank’s jaws hit the floor when I returned with Lisa and not the newspaper.

A Revisionist History

2008-07-08T02:08:10Z

Paul clearly believed in revisionist history. For someone who could hardly remember the last, say, fifteen hours, he had no problem filling Jameson in on all the details, many of which were completely untrue.

“After I sealed the deal with Becca, she was like, ‘Paul, tell me I’m worth more than a one-night-stand.’ What kinda girl talks like that after sex, honestly? She might as well have screamed, “Affirm me! Affirm me!”

“You slept with her?” Jameson said, suddenly feeling jealous. But why should he feel jealous? He was crazy about Prandi, not Becca. Right?

Righteous indignation swept through his veins. “You knew how I felt about her!”

He took a swing at Paul, who on account of his swollen eye, never saw it coming, but took it standing nevertheless.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Paul said, laughing. “I was distracted. I think a mosquito just bit me.”

When Jameson stormed out of the room, Paul called Sassy. “I think it worked. He’s on his way right now. You better be right about this.”

The Following Ficlet Takes Place Between 10:00 PM and 11:00 PM

2008-07-08T00:12:46Z

10:08:23 PM

A red Chevrolet Trailblazer merged into traffic, transporting two angry pre-teens. “Where exactly are you taking us?” Randall asked his mom. “You’re interrupting us at a critical point in our investigation.”

“That information is classified,” his mom played along mostly to calm her nerves. It had been a very trying day. “But suffice it to say, you will be debriefed by the best.”

“Jack is the best,” Sara whined. “And we were this close to locating him before you interrupted us. If anything happens to him… “

“We wanted to talk to you about that, honey,” Sara’s dad said. “Jack’s – now they have me doing it – Jason’s dad is coming over. He needs to know everything, sweetheart. Starting with the last time you heard from Jason.”

Sara crossed her arms, a look of sheer determination etched across her face. “And what if I don’t comply?” she asked.

“You’ll be grounded for two weeks.”

“And that goes double for you,” Randall’s dad piped in.

“The price we pay for our country,” Sara muttered.

The Marty McFly Factor

2008-07-07T22:44:42Z

The first time you watch yourself disappear it takes your breath away. Well, actually, what takes your breath away is the sensation that overpowers you while ‘present’ you is being converted into either ‘past’ or ‘future’ you.

I knew there were better things I could be doing with my time, but to be brutally honest, it had been fifteen years and I still couldn’t get Lisa out of my head. I felt I owed it to both of us to relive that night even if that did mean disrupting sexual darwinism.

I let everything fall into place as it had right up until the moment when Lisa and Val made their approach.

“What’s that?” Lisa asked. “It smells like Christmas.”

This time when Skyler returned I took the bull by the horns, steering the course of history. “So, did you score enough weed for the four of us, bro?” I asked, cringing on the word ‘bro’. Did we really used to talk like that?

Skyler simply said. “Let’s get messed up.”

Everything was fixed, or so I thought. Turns out time has a real twisted sense of humor.

The Very Moment

2008-07-07T03:47:31Z

Of course, I know what did happen. While Skyler and I were getting high as a kite, Lisa started guzzling beers like there was no tomorrow. Later that night, Val held her hair as she vomited like a fratboy.

What made it even worse was that my gay friend Frank provided the play-by-play, as I waited just outside the bathroom.

“She must have had a big lunch because she’s still going. Wow, she practically unloaded a schnauzer. You go, girl. Trust me, you’ve gotta let loose. You’ll thank yourself in the morning.”

I woke up the next morning to the horrible sound of girl talk. “God, I wanted to get laid last night,” Lisa told her friend, her voice almost whiny. “I could just kill Skyler Abbot.”

That was the very moment I realized I needed a time machine. Nonsense, you might say. Time travel is an impossible pipe dream. What would you say if I told you I am a time traveler? What would you say if I told you I no longer live with what ifs?

You’d probably call me a liar. Well, it’s not the first time.

It Smells Like Christmas

2008-07-07T03:26:00Z

Vanessa met us at the sidewalk, clearly drunk off her ass. “Welcome, friends. I trust you’re ready for the grand tour. Poker in the front, liquor in the back,” Vanessa said, leading us past a group playing strip poker on the front porch.

Gotta love the depravity that sets in when the ‘rents go out of town.

“I thought it was liquor in the front, poke her in the ass,” Skyler said.

Vanessa tuned him out. We ransacked the liquor cabinet and headed out back. I lit a clove and watched Skyler search for weed as usual.

“What’s that?” Lisa, attached-at-the-hip to her friend Val, asked. “It smells like Christmas.”

Lisa had never spoken to me before. I was frozen in time, a profound amount of saliva racing to my mouth. To say she was hot would be an understatement. Before I had a chance to make a witty reply, Skyler returned.

“Do you mind?” Skyler said, rudely pushing the girls away. “I scored, bro. We are gonna get high.”

I always wondered what would have happened if Skyler hadn’t rained on my parade.