TreeBeard's Stories

You Had Me at Hello

2008-10-11T22:11:48Z

Wow! She smiled at him! Her beautiful smile seemed to light up the world. His heart beat faster. This was his chance. He walked up and said “Hello.”

“Hello,” she replied.

He had thought about what to say to her countless times. How could he tell her he liked her, without sounding too forward, like some kind of stalker? For now, just make conversation.

“I see you sitting here in the park every day,” he said.

“You do?” she asked, still smiling.

No, he didn’t mean it that way. He wasn’t watching her. “I mean that I just happen to pass by on my way to, uh… somewhere.” The park wasn’t on the way to anywhere.

That was bad. Change the topic. His mind raced. Think of something, anything. His usually cluttered head was coming up blank. All he could think about was her. Looking into that beautiful face. Don’t stare, you’ll scare her away! And don’t stand there looking goofy! Say something intelligent!

“I’m not usually so speechless,” he said with a slight self-deprecating grin. Crash and burn.

6 Word Autobiography

2008-10-11T06:29:57Z

I’m dreaming. Time to wake up.

(I also thought of Carl Sagan’s “We are merely stardust contemplating stardust,” but I disagree with the existential meaninglessness that his philosophy implies. The same with “Alas, life is but a dream.”)

Pants Mac

2008-10-10T21:32:14Z

I had to be careful using my pants mac while so sick. If I threw up on it, I wouldn’t be able to put it in the washing machine without ruining it. And it was brand new. I had just bought it last week. It is so much cooler than it’s competition, that Microsoft Clothing PC. I use it so often, I don’t know how I would live without it. All my music, videos, emails, and websites right there in my pants!

Ice Planet 8

2008-10-10T21:22:38Z

It was hard climbing up the wall of snow . When they tried to pull themselves up, the snow would just give way, leaving them where they were. They used the tools they found in the sled as pickaxes to gain a hold, but it was very slow. Kate was especially frustrated trying to climb with the weight of Lars unconscious on her back. After hours of unnervingly slow progress, they made it to the top. Kate leaned over the edge of the crater onto the surface of the snow and pulled herself up, then she untied Lars and set him down next to her on the snow. Mark soon followed. They lay there a few minutes catching their breath. Kate stood up. The gigantic dent in the snow stretched out beneath her, their hover sled a small speck on it’s side. Past that in all directions was nothing but the smooth white blanket of snow. On the horizon, one of the smaller moons was rising.”

On a Pedestal

2008-10-10T20:03:38Z

He walked down the block towards the park. It wasn’t exactly a shortcut to anywhere. If anything it was a longcut. His walks were definitely longer these last few weeks, ever since he noticed her sitting there. He didn’t remember what had brought him to the park, but there she was. Like an angel straight from heaven, sitting on a bench reading. Since then he couldn’t stay away. At first he made excuses to himself why he needed to go through the park. He needed the exercise and fresh air. He needed to stop and smell the roses. But he knew that the only rose he ever wanted to smell was her. So perfect and pristine that he couldn’t imagine ever actually approaching her. He feared that she would take wing and fly away like a delicate bird. As he entered the gate, he spied her out of the corner of his eye. Long raven hair like the endless night framing her soft pale skin and blue-green ocean eyes. He quickly turned away.Had she caught him staring? Oh, how he prayed that she would be sitting there again tomorrow.

What Lies in the Void

2008-10-10T18:20:54Z

Tanner lay on on his side on the cold metal floor. Emily got down next to him, her face in front of his. “Hey, Tanner. I got you some food. You haven’t eaten anything since we launched,” she whispered.

Tanner looked into her worried eyes for a moment, and then in a cracked voice he spoke. “Everything is gone. Everything! Why was I spared? So many billions of people died. Billions! A number of incomprehensible immensity… Yet out of that complete and total destruction, I was spared. Why?”

“Why were any of us spared, Tanner? To rebuild and make a future.”

“I know why you were spared, Emily. You are so brimming over with beauty and goodness. I never told you how I felt. Even in this…” and here he faltered, but moved on “you somehow manage to stay positive. The future deserves you, but I might as well be dead.”

“You think that it’s easy for me? That I don’t feel just the same as you? I can’t handle it alone, Tanner. I can’t. Maybe you were spared because… I need you.”

Something lit in Tanner’s eyes.

Hope in the Void

2008-06-05T18:42:05Z

“Tanner, push the ignition!” Emily yelled. Tanner sat at the control panel, his head drooping. “It just struck me. This is really the end. All is lost.” “Tanner, please! We have no time for this. Push the button! I need you to do this for me.” Emily pleaded. At the deafening noise of the rocket iginition, they were both thrown back in their seats. The tiny spaceship shot up into the sky, leaving a long trail of white cloud behind it. The sky filled with vapor trails as thousands of ships of all sizes escaped Mother Earth’s loving embrace. The little craft hurtled on, going faster and faster at a dizzying rate into the inky black void. Tanner and Emily were strapped tightly in their flight seats, unable to move, trapped with their own thoughts. Emily was very nauseous, but also felt relief and hope. They would survive after all. Tanner could feel nothing but an enormous loss. He had no wish to live.

Suddenly everything turned white for one instant as the Earth blew apart.

Unseen Tension

2008-05-22T05:30:36Z

In the cramped engine room, the announcement blared from the loudspeakers. “Red alert. All hands to battle stations.” Officers ran frantically to their posts, as the spaceship was shaken by repeated ion blasts. There was an explosion. One of the plasma thrusters had suffered a direct hit, and the explosion had traveled all the way along the plasma conduit back to the engine. They were siting ducks without their engines. Tricia and John both raced to fix it. They opened the hatch and crawled inside. It would take two people to seal off the damaged plasma conduit. The pulled out their tools and worked frantically. John felt Tricia’s soft hand brush against his and he stopped. The brief touch sent tingles up and down his spine. But she hadn’t even noticed and he kept on working. When the conduit was sealed, they tried to pull open the hatch again, but it wouldn’t budge. The explosion must have melted the hinges, and now they had cooled shut. “What do we do now John?” She looked at him with those beautiful eyes.

Ice Planet Part 7

2008-05-22T04:21:59Z

“I am quite alright, thanks for asking. I am not sure that the same can be said for my friend here. He seems to have been knocked unconscious. Not that I can blame him. I nearly was myself.” Mark said, rubbing at a growing bump where the back of his head had slammed the sledcar. Kate rolled her eyes. “Great! At least I’m not alone. I’ve got a couple of rugged tundra explorers to help me.” “What do we do now?” Mark asked. “We can’t move the sled. If we release the brakes, it will just slide to the bottom of the crater.” “We’ll have to grab whatever equipment we can and climb out,” answered Kate. “What about Lars?” “I’ll carry him. Now let’s get packing before the crater gets any bigger.” They rummaged through the various compartments in the sled, collecting emergency rations and survival gear and stowing them into packs to wear. Kate opened the access panel under the controls and pulled out a long jumble of wires. These she twisted together into a crude rope. She tied Lars onto her back, and up they climbed.

Finding Emily

2008-01-24T05:13:35Z

With the laser gun aimed at him, Edison reluctantly unlocked the door. Poe and Holmes stepped out. Poe promptly punched Edison in the face, and he fell to the floor.

“I advise we retire to your time vessel before the alarm is sounded and we are soon overtaken by Edison’s lackeys,” Sherlock said.

“I want to find Emily first and bring her with us,” Tesla said.

“Ah, a woman. Always trouble.”

They followed the sign on the wall pointing to the Anticipated Orders Department. They found Miss Dickinson there lying on a table. She was not active.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” It was a small helper droid.

“No, we’re fine. Just browsing,” Poe said.

“Do you want Mr. Edison to activate her for you? I will go find him,” the little droid said.

“No, no,” Tesla interrupted, “We like her like this. Unconscious.”

“Yes. She is much more fun that way,” Poe blurted out.

The droid gave the closest thing to a strange look that it could before rolling away.

Tesla and Poe carried her to the time machine, Holmes behind them.

The Missing Office Chase

2008-01-17T20:06:19Z

Where did they go? Flint looked around. There was an open dumpster with some banana peels in it. He lifted himself onto the dumpster. The roof was now right next to his head.They must have climbed onto the roof. He gathered some of the trash and made a pile. He climbed the pile and then clambered onto the roof. He could see far from that hight. He spotted a taxicab starting to drive away. Whoever he was chasing had just gotten away. This time there was no way to tell where they were going. Taking a car, they would be far away rather quickly. The chase was over. Dejectedly, Flint climbed back down the way he had come. When he tried to step onto the pile of trash he had used to get up there, his foot slipped on one of the banana peels and he fell right into the dumpster. There was a brochure for Tahiti right in front of his face. He wished he was vacationing in Tahiti. The part that said that Tahiti was far away from America, and a picture of a banana tree, were circled in crayon. He had to get a taxi fast.

The Missing Office is Mailed

2008-01-15T06:22:19Z

Flint entered Boxes ‘R’ Us. The door chimed and a tall teenage boy came to the counter.
“What would you like to ship today sir?” he said.
“Have you shipped any office furniture today?” Flint asked, staring into the boy’s eyes. The boy gulped hard. “We ship things of all shapes and sizes here,” he answered.
“That’s not what I asked,” Flint said. He could see the sweat on the boy’s face.
“Well, sir, I um didn’t ship a desk or filing cabinet or coat stand today. No I don’t-” Suddenly the boy fell forward onto the counter, shot in the back of the neck by a small dart. Where could that have come from? Flint looked around quickly. There were no pea shooters. But there was a small air vent in the wall behind the counter. It probably connected to the back room. Flint jumped over the counter and ran through the door there. He was just in time to see the door close at the far end of the room. The room was full of boxes, but nothing there was big enough to be a desk. Flint ran out the far door into an empty alley.

Sherlock Holmes is On Poe's Case

2008-01-14T21:05:09Z

Holmes sat motionless in depressive introspection. That was something that Poe was quite familiar with himself. “Holmes,” said Poe as he tapped the sleuth from behind, startling him from his trance.

“Poe! You nearly scared me half to death! You’re lucky that I didn’t kill you by automatic reflex,” Sherlock exclaimed.

“There’s something that disturbs my thoughts,” Poe continued uninterrupted. ” When I was rescued, my horrible assailant, the discorporate Mr. Wells, had been grotesquely dispatched. What sort of supremely sinister creature is so much more demoniacal that it bested the monster at it’s own game?”

“Morlocks, of course.”

“But that’s impossible. They don’t exist. They are fiction. And even if they did, how did they get there then?”

“If it’s all the same to you, we’ll leave the poetry to you and the thinking to me. After all, I wouldn’t want you to damage your morose mind. The answer is elementary. You brought them.”

“But I was dead at the time!”

“Very well, then. You will bring them.”

A Degree of Difficulty

2008-01-14T18:48:21Z

“Now you’re sure that this is gonna work, right?” asked Clive.
“I calculate the chances of success at ninety-six point nine percent,” Brian answered while tweaking a relay amongst the jumble of wires with his pliers.
“Does that mean that you’re certain?” Dave asked, “Because if you’re wrong, we’ll be oh so terribly much worse off than we are now. It’s not worth the risk. Why can’t we try something simpler?”
“You can’t go carelessly ravaging the planet for hundreds of years and then expect to fix it without some degree of difficulty.” said Brian, checking over his handiwork and comparing it to the pages of schematics by his side.
“But I don’t even understand what you’re trying to do.” Dave said.
“Okay, I admit this is a large degree of difficulty,” Brian said as he shut the access panel he had been working on and stood up.
“Don’t worry, it’ll work,” Clive said.
Brian pressed a series of buttons on the panel. A flash of intense bright light was seen through the portals of the chamber.
“Oops,” whispered Brian.

On the Trail of the Missing Office

2008-01-14T04:37:05Z

He shimmied down the drainpipe in his suit and tie and landed on the sidewalk. He looked around. There was a banana peel in the middle of the sidewalk. Was someone trying to stop him from following them? Had they left this peel here to make him slip and break his back? Why did they want to kill him so badly? He went to pick it up and noticed another one not too far away. When he got to that one, he saw another further down. He followed the trail of discarded banana peels. It led him down one street and up another. Moving across town, he soon came to a large shopping center. The trail of bananas stopped at the parking lot. Which of the stores had they gone to? The video rental place? The big coffee chain? That run-down hole-in-the-wall that claimed that everything they sold was only a dollar? Yeah right! If you divide up some of the merchandise into thirds than each third would be only a dollar. The problem was that you had to buy all three parts together. That couldn’t be it. It had to be Boxes ‘R’ Us.