#2 Ficker's Stories

Tired Howie

2007-10-27T01:40:47Z

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Howie. He was really tired. He wanted to write a ficlet but he needed an idea. Nothing comes to him, so he types and types waiting for something magical to appear…

It's what's for lunch

2007-06-07T01:35:46Z

Philip prepared the sandwich. He spared no expense to achieve hand-held perfection. Smoked turkey, tomato, swiss, and dijon mustard in a panini. Even butlers love the grill. He carefully placed a selection of sweet potato chips and a pickle on the plate. Turkey contains tryptophan and that might play well for later.

He brings it to his master… There’s only a frown. Master says he wanted two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese on a sesame seed bun.

Philip, clearly insulted, goes off into a rage.

Rocked and Rolled?

2007-04-24T16:50:52Z

He wasn’t really picky. He was the drummer of an on-the-other-side-of-the-tracks bar band that played on Tuesday nights. It was now Wednesday morning. He woke up and saw the lump next to him. He found some red fingernails on the sink. He relieved himself. He returned to bed, to find the lump next to him with nothing on. He saw the long blond hair. He thought – “I didn’t do so badly.” He pulled back the covers, ready to do what he couldn’t remember.

", Captain Kirk asks poking your tooth with something akin to a samuari sword

2007-04-18T13:33:44Z

Spam worth reading (edited):

I think there should only be one tax per level of government.
Round and round and round and round. The article is even well written and provides all kinds of in-depth facts, but who cares!
well beside AIDS and mayhap cancer, and a list of other diseases.
Well do you want to spend a long time making anything with his picture on it? com [gnabgib]
bizwarcho Truths Children have Learned
The Best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap. com Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Assembled members gasp is horror. Maybe Tilley means Gulf War)
And since both the CBC and our military are hurting they should work together.
a renegade custodian. Why is this a part of my politics?
But my taste says nothing for the Royal Family.
well there are many other nations to live in.
“We need more power in the engine room”. I just stood around waiting for the feeders to get their eyes pecked out.
Or maybe they had better things to worry about.

Fingers

2007-03-07T20:51:20Z

He looked again at his fingers, not believing how old he was. Somehow, it appeared that he had 39 1/2 fingers on each hand. He couldn’t imagine going upstairs and cleaning the mess, for he did not have any gloves. And, so many fingers meant so many fingernails for which to clean after cleaning the mess.

He didn’t like to clean, however, the stain above him kept growing in size…

What the?

2007-03-07T20:45:44Z

We were all teasing eachother it was the ghost of the dead man. It looked just liked him. However, we all knew that dead meant dead.

So, we sent Mikey over to take a look. He ate cereal, he ate pop-rocks and coke, so we knew he would be game. Mikey went over and the pajama guy grabbed him. Mikey was screaming. There were 4 of us, so, we ran over and grabbed the man. Man, did he smell something terrible.

Finally, we all broke free, but there was something on us, and it hurt!

The End

2007-03-07T20:32:10Z

The End

(This space is being filled to satisfy the sixty-four character requirement)

The second ficker

2007-03-07T20:16:03Z

Once upon a time, I came upon a website called “ficlets”. It just gave me the desire to fick everything. Fick you, you ficker! Once you fick, you can’t stop. I walked down the street and saw something I liked, so I wanted to fick it.