Emmyful's Stories

I wonder, still wonder...

2008-11-28T23:27:45Z

As I look at her webpage I wonder when she got so tall. I wonder when she grew up so much. I wonder if she ever still thinks about me, the way I still wonder about her.

I can’t seem to forget her birthday, her phone number, her favorite color. All things a best friend would be expected to remember. But I’m no longer her best friend. I’m no longer her friend at all. She made that very clear.

There was a clique. They accepted her. She ditched me. End of story.

Sure, I’m over it but can’t I still wonder? Is that such a crime?

I’ve given up on talking to her. I no longer call her to wish her a happy birthday. She never responds so I gave up.

It hurts that she won’t ever talk to me. We used to share our deepest secrets back in the 5th grade. We always joked we were soulmates.

I wonder what she’s into now? Has her favorite color changed? Does she still hate cats? What is her favorite class in high school?

All these things and so many more I still wonder…

One Fatal Leap

2008-11-16T20:12:22Z

“This is it,” Hector thought as he stood in front of the 5th story window of his apartment building. “She will never see me as more than a friend as long as that green eyed boy is still around.”

Hector was poised to jump out the window. It would be easier to just end it all at once. One fatal leap would end it all. He would never have to deal with these problems again.

As he climbed up into the bay window, he found himself wondering what would happen if this act didn’t kill him. What if someone or something caught him at the bottom? What if he landed on his feet or only broke a couple of bones.

He would dive head first. This would solve any potential rescue problem.

Hector unlatched the locks and stuck his head out the window. The cool autumn breeze whipped up his curly hair. He felt the sun on his face. He knew this would be the last time he would see the sun.

He took a deep breath.

Then the phone rang. It was her. “I have something to tell you. Come right away.”

And he did.

Knitting my way through life

2008-11-09T04:38:57Z

Knit
Purl

Knitting is my anti-drug.

Purl
Knit

Knitting keeps me sane.

Knit
Purl

I knit to pass the time.

Purl
Knit

I say: Make sweaters, not war.

Knit
Purl

Knitting helps me work through my problems

Purl
Knit

Each loop is an accomplishment.

Knit
Purl

It’s an excuse to stay indoors when it’s cold out.

Purl
Knit

My thoughts are melting away.

Knit
Purl

I’m losing myself in the world of knitting.

Purl
Knit

I’m just knitting my way through life.

Knit
Purl

Time to bind off and move on

Solid Proof

2008-11-08T19:27:28Z

But I can’t.
There is too much at stake.
If I ask, I risk losing a friendship.
If I know, things will never be the same.
If I could read his mind, I would.
If I knew for sure, I would ask.
I am afraid of being hurt; of losing something.
I am afraid of losing a friendship I can never get back.
I am afraid of awkwardness; of strangeness; of rejection.

Rejection

The double-edged sword.

Rejection

The beginning of the end.

Rejection

The pain and stinging it brings with it.

Is it better to just let it be?
I think not!
But I just can’t do it.
I simply can’t.

Time ticks away as I sit here pondering the many possibilities. What to do? What to do?

Rejection versus Happiness

Happiness versus Rejection

Alas and alack! My poor mind is scrambled like the eggs I had for breakfast.

Rejection is what scares me. Curiosity is what keeps me going.

I need answers.

Definitive answers.

Solid Proof.

Bittersweet Indecision

2008-11-08T03:22:02Z

As we made our way as a group into the theater, I only had one thought on my mind: sitting beside him.

What could be better than spending your time in a dark theater beside your crush? Nothing.

When the lights went dim, his knee rested against mine and stayed there for longer than normal…much longer. My first instinct was to pull my knee away but my second was to stay still. I was enjoying it.

Nothing else happened. Sure, some hand holding would have been nice but I had all I needed: proof he likes me.

This, in addition to all the other signs I have been reading proves it to me. There is no longer any doubt in my mind that he likes me. The only thing is, where to go from here?

Maybe it’s best to just let things take their natural course. Maybe I should do something more. Maybe I should just forget about it altogether.

No.

Ahh, bittersweet indecision. How I love and loathe thee, all at the same time.

50th ficlet challenge

2008-11-06T02:17:13Z

Well I finally made it to my 50th ficlet and I’m quite proud of myself. I guess it’s tradition to create a challenge and I haven’t given it much thought so here’s what I’ve come up with in the spur of the moment…

I want you to write about a special memory you have with a pet. (I know, it’s lame, but it could turn out to be really touching.)

For example:

When I had the chickenpox last year, I remember being awake at 3 a.m. because of the itching. I cried because I couldn’t sleep and there was no way to make me feel better. My cat, Ashley, woke up and roused herself from the foot of my bed, walked over beside my head and layed down. She stared into my eyes and purred as I pet her and it just made me feel so much better to know that she was there for me.

DIRECTIONS :

Write about the topic and title it “Pet Challenge.”

Have fun!

An Excerpt from My Diary in 2004

2008-11-06T02:06:03Z

Dear diary…

My heart burns for Austin with the white hot intensity of the sun but he doesn’t like me. It’s devastating what I’m going through. He had a girlfriend named Ann and she dumped him.

Even when he had an excellent chance to like me, he didn’t. Rachael is rude now and Jovon and I can’t stand her anymore. So the ‘Three Musketeers’ are breaking up.

My piano lessons are getting harder and I lost the county spelling bee. It wasn’t my fault. The judge mispronounced the word. Jovon’s mom is running against him for the school board. I hope she wins.

I’m eleven now and there are only 3 months left of school before summer. I can’t wait to be a 6th grader. I’m growing up too fast.

They changed our seating chart at lunch and I have to sit with a slob and a snob.

The Exciting and Eventful Life of a Teenager

2008-11-06T01:56:38Z

The exciting world of being a teenager is not exactly what I had always dreamed it would be. Sure, my room is “cool”, what with my band posters and various lamps and dresser but there’s so much more than that which isn’t so great.

There is no sitting around with friends all the time saying things like “totally,” and “like,” 50 times per sentence.

Instead, I spend my days holed up in my room doing mounds of homework. 8 page papers, 5 paragraph essays, multiple pointless Spanish cultural enrichment questions. Where does it end?

And it isn’t just the work that is hard on the soul; it’s the relationships. How do you keep up so many friendships when you have grades to keep up? How do you find yourself a boyfriend?

Well, I have very few friends I am very close to and still haven’t managed to date since the disastrous experiences in 7th grade.

All I can see ahead of me is the broken road to college.

I’ll make it somehow. It won’t be easy but I always make it through.

The Sights and Sounds of Solemnity

2008-11-06T01:49:48Z

Lockers slammed. Books dropped. Kids laughed. Angelina got the heck out of there. There was nothing she liked more than leaving her small high school on Friday afternoons. “There’s no way I’m staying here a second longer than I have to,” she thought as she grabbed her Geometry and Biology books from the messy floor of her locker and threw them haphazardly into her bag.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like school. Sure it had its downfalls like crazy teachers and loads of homework but overall she liked school. It was a place to be serious; to get work done. Angelina needed structure in her life and high school was the right place to get it.
But Friday meant freedom. It meant a tofu party with Monique, her vegan friend, and a family breakfast on Saturday morning. It meant church on Sunday and relaxation before school began again on Monday. There was no way she was wasting an ounce of any weekend lingering in the hallways at school.
Angelina strode out the door and into the crisp autumn air.

"Emily, you're adorable."

2008-11-01T22:44:51Z

He says he loves me, but only in casual conversation.
He tells me I’m pretty.
He says “Emily, you’re adorable.”

But does he really mean any of this? Is it really serious? Because if it was, we would be together now, right?

He always talks to me.
He always sits by me.
He seems interested in what I have to say.

But is he just friendly? Is he just a big flirt? I don’t understand him at all.

He makes sure I am never left out.
He makes room for me at a table.
He is my gym class buddy.

Should I go for it or should I forget? This is the dilemma I face. Friendship can be a nasty barrier.

Sea Green Eyes

2008-11-01T00:21:57Z

The flip in his blonde hair.
The smile on his face when we lock eyes.
His laugh.
The sea green of his eyes.
His rosy cheeks.
His walk.

All these things about him put me into a trance and I want so badly to call him mine. I want to hold hands. I want him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I want to be more than just friends.

But we are “just friends”. Those words stab me like a sword every day. I am torn. Do I take the plunge and risk losing it all or do I keep my secret and continue to beat myself up about it every day?

His voice.
His hands.
His sense of humor.
His chivalry.
His personality.

Is he just being nice or is there something more? Will I ever have an answer? I need to know but I can’t ask.

His compliments.
The way he holds the door for me.
The sacrifices he makes for me.
The way he makes me feel special.

I could use a clue.

Rejection.
The end of a great friendship.
No more smiles.
No more sea green eyes.

This is what scares me the most.

Across the Universe (the grand finale)

2008-10-18T02:57:54Z

Well I guess I lost the inspiration. I never finished my series. However, I thought you should know that every bit of it is true. You can’t just make this stuff up although names have been changed.

I broke up with Rohn shortly after the events in the previous ficlet.

Rohn moved away to Kentucky but we talk more than we ever did before. We talked about the entire situation and we are in agreement that we were both just too young (7th grade). We are both sophomores now and it’s crazy how fast time goes by.

Rohn is by far one of my best friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So I guess that’s it for my series…There isn’t much else to say other than everything worked out for the best. I want to thank my readers, especially OrangeOreos, John Perkins, and Laine the Grey. The comments are what kept my motivation for writing up.

Thanks for reading my series!

-Emmyful

20 Questions

2008-10-18T02:08:48Z

1.)So I haven’t written in about three months…what does that say about me?
2.)Am I a true ficleteer?
3.)Does the fact that I lack in creativity at times somehow diminish my quality of writing?
4.)How is it that my head is filled with ideas until I begin to stare at the blank space on my screen?
5.)Why is this expanse of emptiness so intimidating?
6.)Why am I even writing this pointless piece of literature?
7.)Could you even call this literature?
8.)Why am I horrible at sports?
9.)Why am I obsessed with the Beatles?
10.)Why do I still watch Spongebob?
11.)Who am I?
12.)What is my purpose in this world?
13.)What is the meaning of life?
14.)If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
15.)Are you bored yet?
16.)What does boredom really mean?
17.)Would this be considered poetry?
18.)Doesn’t it almost have a ring to it?
19.)Why is the sky blue?
20.)Why don’t you leave me a comment or two?

A Hard Day's Night

2008-07-03T18:48:58Z

Rohn would just take tiny spoonfuls and then get cup after cup of water to drink.

Hannah and I were enjoying watching him suffer (sorry Rohn) and we mentioned something about it to my mom so she told us to tell him he didn’t have to eat the broccoli cheese soup. We walked back outside with newly full bowls and sat down once again, pretending we didn’t see Rohn’s agony.

Then my mom yelled out the door “Did you tell Rohn he doesn’t have to eat the soup?” Busted!

After we finished we had to go feed my neighbor’s cat because she was on vacation. Rohn made us listen to some music on his mp3 player that closely resembled yodeling. We left him on the neighbor’s porch and walked inside her house.

When we walked back out into my driveway, my towel fell off and I tumbled into Hannah’s arms, embarassed, as Rohn looked befuddled. I was only wearing a bathing suit.

Eventually we resumed and began talking about movies but somehow I just knew it was the end of a potential long and happy relationship.

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey

2008-07-01T18:42:27Z

Over the next couple of weeks I saw a lot of Rohn. He came over on a daily basis either to see me or meet with my mom for counseling (mostly to see me!)

One time in particular, Rohn came to see my mom but arrived early. Hannah and I had not know this or we would have been safely inside; not wearing bathing suits.

We were lying out in the sun when, suddenly, Hannah figured that Rohn might come early to see me. I told her I didn’t think so and we minded our own business until we heard a startling crackle of leaves. Low and behold, there was Rohn, fresh from 4H camp and armed with his Lucky Penny award to show off to me.

Hannah and I bolted straight up and covered up with our towels. Rohn told us all about his adventures of camp and then my mom invited him to stay for dinner. She had made broccoli cheese soup and the three of us (Rohn, Hannah, and me) sat at the picnic table on the deck and ate.

It was evident very quickly that Rohn detested the soup. He tried to hide it but I knew.