Ficlets

“How about if I pretended not to want to be eaten?”

“Yes, but…what?”

“You know, a little roleplay? I’m like ‘Oh, noes, a dragon!’ and you’re like ‘Mwahaha, I will eat you now!’ and—”

“But I don’t laugh like that. It’s unbecoming.”

She stomped her foot. “It’s just an example, silly. Anyway, I act like I don’t wanna be eaten, and scream a lot, and you eat me in one big gulp. I’ll even make sure to squirm all the way down, I hear dragons like that.”

“But…if you’re not a virgin, you’ll give me indigestion,” the dragon protested weakly.

“I thought of that. Look.” She opened her knapsack and pulled out a round tablet the size of a small shield. “Dragon-seltzer. Just drop this in a pond afterward and drink the pond. You’ll be all right.”

“But—dash it all, I’m starting to like you. I can’t eat someone I like.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.” The girl shuffled her foot and blushed. “But yes you can, if she wants you to!”

The dragon had to admit, it was getting harder to come up with excuses.