Maybe Ghost story's 2

by Tales From The Script

Kay and Judy slammed the door.
I’m coming for you” the haunting voice said
Judy cried hysterically, they could feel the icy cold air wrapping around their feet and moving up their legs.
Kay ran to the window and opened it, it slammed just missing her fingers, “Judy help me ”, Kay, was alone in the room and the door was open.
She ran down stairs to the front door, it slammed shut.
She pulled on the knob, it wouldn’t open.
She stopped and looked up the stairs,
he was coming for her.
So you ‘ve come for me,” she said?
Thunder echoed through the house, Kay’s eyes turned black as night, she raised her hand and pointed at the man.
The man pointed at her; so you think you can take me?
She smiled.
Energy shot through her, she flinched.
She raised her other hand releasing energy from her finger tips, and dropped him to his knees.
She sneered. “Release my friends” she ordered.
Yes, mistress it’s done”.
She opened her hand an cast a fireball, sending him back into the darkness.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Maybe Ghost story's 2

    Tales From The Script's Buddy Icon Tales From The Script

    Posted about 1 year ago

    I hate it it’s to jammed together

  2. Maybe Ghost story's 2

    Gnarforama_X's Buddy Icon Gnarforama_X

    Posted about 1 year ago

    don’t hate, just revise it and spread it out some more, there’s some great mood in there, but you’re right, it is too jammed together.
    It just has a feeling that it was rushed out the door is all, nothing a bit of editing couldn’t whip into shape.

  3. Maybe Ghost story's 2

    Tales From The Script's Buddy Icon Tales From The Script

    Posted about 1 year ago

    Is this better?

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