Ficlets

Dead is Relative

Emilio woke on a gurney in excruciating pain. “Holy Mother of God,” he screamed, clutching his left cheek, which was dripping blood from a lengthy, but precise cut.

Emilio was flanked by two men in gowns and surgical masks, one holding a bloody scalpel. Although he could not see their mouths, their eyes suggested surprise.

“Are you with the Federales?” Emilio asked trembling.
“No we are with the Coroner’s Office” said one of the masked men.
What are you doing? Emilio asked.
“We were performing your autopsy before you rudely interrupted us,” said the other masked man.
“Autopsy?” asked Emilio?
“Yes, you are dead.”
“I am not dead.”
“You are dead. We have the paperwork. Jose show him the paperwork.”
One of the masked men held a sheet front of his face. “See?” said the masked man, “The box marked ‘dead’ is checked.”
“But that is incorrect”, shouted Emilio.
“You may file an appeal with the Department.”
When? Asked Emilio.
“After we finish our autopsy. Please lie back down.”

Comments

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Dead is Relative
Kevin
Posted 9 months ago

Although it’s not really a sequel, I enjoyed Stovohobo’s story so much I decided to write one of my own.
Dead is Relative
Alexa ♥
Posted 9 months ago

“You are dead. We have the paperwork. Jose show him the paperwork . . . The box marked ‘dead’ is checked.”
~
Classic red-tape dialogue.
Dead is Relative
SKermitgorf
Posted 9 months ago

Can’t argue with the paperwork, very funny addition to the ficlet Stovo wrote. Dilaouge was great.
Dead is Relative
blueyedwonder
Posted 9 months ago

HAHAHAHAHA . typical bureaucrats. I must agree with Kermitgorf, the dialogue was especially comical.
Dead is Relative
Stovohobo
Posted 9 months ago

That’s hilarious, especially near the end. Paperwork, ha.
Dead is Relative
A Clockwork Apple
Posted 9 months ago

I love it. I’ts bizzare and kind of terrifying. It reminds me of something I’ve read before, but I can’t put my finger on it.
Dead is Relative
Stovohobo
Posted 9 months ago

cool
cat
fat
hat
rat
mat
bat