Becoming Lillia

by someday_93

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The painting was covered by a thin layer of dust. As she pulled back the heavy red curtain, Kiarra was apprehensive. Why, she did not know. It was just one of those nights; storming outside, dark…somehow she felt that she shouldn’t be here. But she told herself that’s a silly thought – Dad said she could explore the new house after all.

Paint was chipped away in places, but most of the original art was visible. It was a young girl, sitting on a velvet stool. Blond hair framed her face, and her smile looked…strange. Below, she saw writing – Lillia Kendal, 1854.

She dropped the curtain, letting it fall back into place. But as soon as it touched the ground, it swung back, of its own accord. She tried to scream, but couldn’t.

And then, as if the painting had transformed, the girl’s hand reached out of the painting, and grabbed Kiarra’s. “Come,” she said in a faint voice. “Come with me.”

Kiarra sits frozen on a velvet stool, looking out at the hall. She smiles a strange smile.

Kiarra London, 1854.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Becoming Lillia

    Shadow's Buddy Icon Shadow

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    If you write it in past tense, it sounds a lot better.

  2. Becoming Lillia

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Good story – enjoyed this one. There are some great ones for the competition.

  3. Becoming Lillia

    someday_93's Buddy Icon someday_93

    Posted about 1 year ago

    Shadow—you’re right, it does. I changed it. Thanks.

  4. Becoming Lillia

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    i really like this one

    it sets up the next story – like that someone will find Kiarra in the painting

    i love the ending but if you have anymore characters left – i think you should finish with a repeat of the Lillia Kendal, 1854. bit but with Kiarra’s name

    only a thought

    and add the t on thought in the last line of the first para and it’s a five star story

  5. Becoming Lillia

    someday_93's Buddy Icon someday_93

    Posted about 1 year ago

    Dang, I forgot the t...but I fixed it. And I don’t have anymore characters but I will see if I can try to fit that in…thanks!

  6. Becoming Lillia

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    yeah

    nice ending i like it!
    im upgrading you to five stars now for the spelling fix lol

  7. Becoming Lillia

    cainegreene's Buddy Icon cainegreene

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Excellent. Loved the end was wondering how you were going to scare us. Stuck in a painting forever!

  8. Becoming Lillia

    Aforest's Buddy Icon Aforest

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like it. I would love if her father found her there in the painting, smiling that strange smile.

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