Discovery and Disobedience

by Mistress Elsha Hawk

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“He showed me how to make sounds with land objects and air!” Mer-princess Aqualina exclaimed.
“Air?”
“Like a voice?” her friends hovered around.
“No. The objects made their own sounds when he blew air into them. Some made a noise lower than the call of a humpback whale! And some were higher than a scared dolphin! And they all worked together to make a lovely song!”
“Together? Like a hunting party?” wondered Azric.
“No. They sounded like they all said the same thing at the same time, the same way. It matched somehow. And it flowed like water; smooth, rushing, loud, and full; in one long song!”
“I wish I could hear it…,” Arista sighed dreamily.
“Well, I don’t! What a fool you were! Defying the Matriarch! You should be shunned! Lucky you’re the Princess! You’ll never be fairly punished!” scorned Azielle.
“Well I’m glad I did it! I saved a life! And in return I learned something new and made a friend! When I’m matriarch, we’ll live peacefully with land dwellers! All of them!” She flipped her tail rudely at her.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. Discovery and Disobedience

    someday_93's Buddy Icon someday_93

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Hmm…I like the description of music by one who has not heard it before. Very nice!

  2. Discovery and Disobedience

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 12 months ago

    I understand this isn’t a strong story by itself, but it was an idea I had and I wanted to try it on some readers. It is hard to describe human things from a non-human point of view, an oceanic view. That is my challenge.

  3. Discovery and Disobedience

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 12 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    It had an otherworldly feel, like they were mermaids or godessess,or amazons or some mythical beings.

  4. Discovery and Disobedience

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 11 months ago

    they are merfolk! I guess I’ll work on this, making it more evident. I’ve been planning on expanding this one.

  5. Discovery and Disobedience

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    Reminds me of The Little Mermaid, but I love that movie, so good job.
    ~
    Would’ve been helpful to have separate paragraphs & a better indication of who was talking.

  6. Discovery and Disobedience

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    aw, this is pretty good! I like the idea behind it and the descriptions which I’m sure were challenging!

  7. Discovery and Disobedience

    Punkin's Buddy Icon Punkin

    Posted about 1 month ago

    i like the spunkiness of the princess.

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